there is a road, there is a way.
New town, new faces. Same polluted air.
Sasuke Uchiha takes a quick, shallow breath and slips through the doors of his new school.
This will be fine. Out of over a hundred kids, who's going to notice him?
"Um, excuse me?"
It's a girl with pink hair braided over her shoulder. She's threaded in some daisies. "I'm Sakura, are you new?"
He nods, cursing his luck.
"I can show you around! We've all been together since we were little, this place is like home. We're family here!" Sakura smiles, taking his arm.
He lets her hold it, concentrates on breathing.
One.. Two.. Ten.
He pulls his arm from her grip and mutters that he doesn't need help. Her smile doesn't fade and she sweetly announces they have first class together - what fun!
He hopes to evade her at lunch, a difficult feat since everyone has settled into their cliques and she sees him alone.
"Come sit with me and Naruto!" She's friendly, genuine. He doesn't need any of that.
Naruto turns out to be neither her boyfriend nor her brother. He is, however, her very best friend in the whole world besides that Ino-pig.
Ino-pig is a girl with silky blonde hair who seems to find Sasuke very attractive. Sasuke moves away from her and wonders if they could just leave him alone.
Naruto laughs and slings an arm around his shoulder. Sasuke freezes.
"You don't like to be touched?" Naruto asks. Sasuke shakes his head.
"That's okay. I'm sorry." Naruto says softly. "You don't like to talk either?"
He talks. He can talk.
He just can't find the words. But Naruto sits by him and talks for him.
Looks at him.
In Naruto's eyes, Sasuke sees the same sadness.
At the end, Sasuke speaks. "Thanks."
Iruka Umino is one of those teachers. Nice enough, but he's the "tell us about yourself" kind of guy.
Sasuke manages to keep his voice steady.
The girls seem impressed, the guys aren't.
It's his last class, he just wants to go home.
Naruto has a beautiful smile.
It's little things about him that make him so bright - and Sasuke can't stop looking.
"Like what you see?" Naruto's breath tickles his ear.
"Tch."
"Apparently you only talk around me," Naruto says triumphantly.
"Hn." Sasuke slams his locker shut. He's messed up. Talking is dangerous.
"So! Sasuke! There's this party, you wanna come? Please, Sasuke?"
"Hasn't school just started?" He mutters.
Naruto laughs and their hands brush. It's like this with Naruto - little touches, butterfly touches.
"Yeah, and it's to celebrate a new year! Please, please come?"
"No thanks." Sasuke tucks his hands in his pockets.
Naruto isn't one to give up easily. He gets his friend Lee, an athletic junior, to pressure Sasuke as well.
Sasuke covers his ears against the chorus of "Please, Sasuke? Pretty please!"
He ends up going.
"Are you sick? You seem cold a lot." Naruto says suddenly. The kids around them are swapping spit, drinks, secrets.
Sasuke shakes his head, pulls his jacket a little closer.
Naruto chuckles, sensing his discomfort. "Wanna sit outside?"
They go, and Naruto yawns. "Gosh, this party isn't as fun as last year's. Ino's losing her touch, ne?"
Sasuke shrugs.
- Pretty girl, where are you hiding?
- So scared you can't even scream...
- Don't open the door, please, don't open the door...
The night air is no longer calming. It's suffocating.
"Going home," Sasuke tosses his words over his shoulder, but Naruto takes his wrist, gently.
"Let me take you."
"You don't need to take care of me." Sasuke snarls. Why won't this guy get it?
"I want to," Naruto murmurs, kisses Sasuke's hand. Sasuke yanks the violated body part away and sprints to his bike.
He can hear Naruto calling after him, but his hood is almost off and he needs to get home.
Kakashi's waiting in the kitchen. "How was it?"
Sasuke makes a face. "Shit."
"Who's Naruto?" Kakashi asks.
Sasuke pauses. How to explain Naruto? "He's this idiot."
Kakashi and Sasuke share a fondness for short conversation. Kakashi bids him goodnight and goes upstairs.
Sasuke stretches on the couch, turns on the TV.
"Itachi Uchiha's -"
He turns off the TV.
How could he let this happen?
How could he forget? Death is creeping, lurking, cruel.
"You almost died, idiot!" Sasuke tries to keep his voice steady, and fails. "Can't you watch where you're going?"
"Yeah! You saved me! Sasuke, my hero." Naruto grins, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Doubt anyone would've missed me anyway, haha!"
"Did... did you intentionally walk in front of that car?" Sasuke whispers. He feels cold.
"No, of course not!" Naruto says. "But... sometimes, I just get so lonely..." His smile wavers.
"Don't." Sasuke grabs Naruto's hand. "People care about you. People'd miss you."
"Would you?" Naruto's lips quirk.
Sasuke slowly nods. "Don't forget that... you mean something to someone. Someone's waiting for you to come home."
"Thank you," Naruto says.
"Don't thank me, idiot. Be more careful." Sasuke scoffs, turning away. What the hell was happening? He had his own things to deal with, he didn't Naruto's problems.
"I can see you blushing!" Naruto laughs. "C'mon, walk with me to class?"
Sasuke groans, but lets Naruto keep holding his hand.
If he was seven again, with a sprained ankle, he'd have braided hair and Itachi to carry him home.
Itachi's everything: mother, father, brother. Protector, teacher, partner.
Why can't life just be easy for me, Sasuke thinks. Why can't it all just go right?
Why can't my brother come home to me?
Naruto calls.
"It's almost eleven," Sasuke rasps. "And how did you get my number?"
"So?" Naruto says happily. "You still picked up! Look outside! C'mon, just do it!"
Sasuke groans, and opens his window.
Naruto's out there, a camera in hand. "It's so cool how you live just down the street! But look at the moon! It's so pretty!"
The moon is pretty.
- The moon is red, dyed with blood, falling to the ground...
- Aniki, where are you?
Sasuke slams the window shut. He's forgotten to wear his jacket and his hair's been getting long again.
Naruto's in his kitchen the next morning, and Sasuke blinks and pours himself some coffee.
"I found this lad outside," Kakashi explains. "Asked him to sleep in the guest bed."
"Wow! You still look nice in the mornings!" Naruto exclaims. "But really, you wear a lot of layers, how come?"
Sasuke simply bares his teeth at him.
Naruto hops up on the table. "Do I get breakfast too?"
"Bye kids," Kakashi says pleasantly - off the wander the streets.
Sasuke makes breakfast while Naruto chatters.
Then -
"Do you think Sakura likes anyone?"
"Huh?" It's such a startling question and he likes Sakura? Why else would he want to know?
Best friends becoming something more...
There's a sense of disappointment in Sasuke's heart.
Whatever.
He doesn't need any of this.
He's infatuated? It sounds so trivial.
Naruto's special to him, he'll admit that.
Maybe it's because I can't have him?
No, his feelings are more than infatuation. Uchihas have a flair for the dramatic, but this.
Naruto's the first to really understand.
Naruto gets under his skin. If he closes his eyes, he imagines what it would be like to kiss him.
Sasuke heads to the gym. He needs to blow off some steam.
Sasuke sits in front of the mirror and eyes his hair.
It's getting long.
I look like... like him.
Naruto likes long hair, doesn't he?
Sasuke finds the scissors and slashes away at it, until black locks litter the floor.
He throws the scissors, throws off his clothes, gets into the shower.
He lets the water run over his body, wash away his tears.
Tears for Naruto? Tch.
There's someone missing at the lunch table.
"Where's Sasuke at?" Ino bellows. "Where's my prince o' darkness, eh?"
Kiba shrugs. "You know he just hangs around cause Naruto follows him like a puppy."
"He's not like that!" Sakura gasps. "Kiba!"
"He's over there," Shikamaru Nara rolls his eyes. Sasuke is back at his old, lonely table.
"Maybe he's ill," Sakura frets. "Let's go!"
Sasuke looks up when they approach.
They noticed?
"Why're you sitting here?" Sakura asks.
Sasuke shrugs. Can't find words.
Where's Naruto?
"Wha- are you crying?" Ino says suddenly.
He's not crying.
"I'm not," Sasuke whispers, and then Kiba grabs his arm.
"What the hell man, aren't we your friends? Tell us what's wrong!"
Sasuke shakes his head, mouth a hard slash. Words are dangerous.
"Naruto will be here soon." Lee says cheerfully. "He can help."
Sasuke's eyes seem to flash red and he snarls, "I want nothing to do with that shithead."
"Okay," Sakura says, seeming unconvinced.
"Go away," Sasuke hisses, and they do.
His old gang shows up.
Suigetsu presses a kiss to the top of his head. "How's our little bird, eh?"
Sasuke punches him in the chest. "Shut up. How're you and Karin?"
"Do you care?" Suigetsu chortles. "Tell me about Blondie over there." Naruto and the others are looking over curiously.
"How are you...?" Juugo asks. He looks worried. He's always worried about Sasuke.
"I'm fine." Sasuke mutters. "How'd you find me, anyway?"
"Uh... Well..." Juugo fidgets, looks over at Suigetsu.
"All right. We heard a rumor that SF is trying to reform. You up for heading us?" Suigetsu raises his fist.
Sasuke meets the fist with his own. "Always."
Sasuke wakes up, throat dry, and is about to ask Itachi for some water when he remembers -
- Where's Itachi going?
- Don't ask questions, Suki.
- Aniki!
It was only a dream, Itachi's not back. Sasuke scoffs and shuffles into the kitchen.
"Hey, Kakashi." He sighs.
Kakashi hands him a glass of water. "It'll be okay, Sasuke."
"Hn."
This time, he dreams of Naruto.
The boy can always find him, it's insane.
It's scary.
"Are you stalking me?" Sasuke finally asks, cornered at the lunch table, and Sakura and the others look surprised at hearing his voice.
"I just follow my heart." Naruto says brightly, like there's nothing wrong with that. Sasuke flushes and looks down at his food.
He's not hungry anymore.
Sakura offers some of her bento. He declines.
Naruto casually suggests a walk - more like demands one. He takes Sasuke's arm and hauls him out.
"Stop touching me," Sasuke says.
Naruto lets go.
"We're friends, right Sasuke?" Naruto smiles. Open. Friendly.
His eyes are sad. They're always sad.
"What do you want from me?" Sasuke asks, backing away slowly. "I don't have anything to give you."
"Don't be scared," Naruto says quickly.
"Okay," Sasuke says. "Then go away."
"I won't. I can help you. I get it." Naruto comes forward, trapping him in an embrace.
"Stop!" Sasuke almost shrieks, voice shrill. "Oh, god, stop, stop, stop it…"
Stop making me feel this way.
Is he crying? He hopes he's not crying. He has his arms folded over his chest protectively.
Naruto's right there at his side. "I'm sorry - I'm sorry, that's how I communicate, yanno? I'm so sorry, but I - shit, Sasuke, I'm sorry."
Naruto's asking what happened to him.
He's telling him. It's pouring out and Naruto's face doesn't change until it's all over. He doesn't touch him.
"I'm sorry that happened to you, Sasuke."
"They're dead," Sasuke chokes out. "But they're still alive in my dreams."
My brother killed him for me.
"Is this okay?" Naruto says quietly, extending his arms. Sasuke nods through his tears.
"Okay." Naruto says. "It'll be okay."
I'm here.
Naruto finds him slouching over a book in the library.
"Kinky," Naruto whistles, glancing at the page, and Sasuke rolls his eyes.
"Shove off, loser."
"You love me," Naruto grins.
"You're the one who likes to follow me around," Sasuke replies. "And you're in love with Sakura."
Naruto seems surprised. "Why do you think I'm in love with Saks? I like you, Sasuke."
"Why me?" is all Sasuke can manage.
"You're bittersweet." Naruto gives his dopey grin.
"Have... you kissed anyone?" They're out of the library now. Naruto is suddenly shy.
Sasuke shakes his head. "What makes you think you can kiss me?"
"You haven't pushed me away yet," Naruto says, and kisses him. It's soft and awkward but sweet and Sasuke holds him closer.
Surprisingly, nothing really changes after they become a... well, they don't know what to call themselves.
Ino remarks on their physical closeness in February. Are they dating, or aren't they? Or are they just, yanno, having sex? And is it sexy sex?
Sasuke's face resembles his favorite food (tomatoes) and Naruto laughs awkwardly.
"Uhm, we're, uh, we haven't had sex yet."
"Yet!" Ino shrieks. "Is Sasuke your national anthem?"
They stare.
"Lana Del Rey." Ino swoons. "She writes the most romantic songs."
"Am I your national anthem?" Sasuke smirks. "Sing my praises, drop your pants for me."
"Well that was fast," Kiba says.
Naruto snickers and pretends to bite Sasuke's nose. "Bend on over."
Sakura and Ino collapse into giggles.
Sasuke reaches over and grabs Sakura's book. "Have you ever made love in the ocean?"
"Can't say I have, shall we try?" Naruto winks. Sakura stuffs her fist in her mouth to stifle her laughter.
"Isn't it nice," Ino says, "how a part of them is always touching? Like they gravitate towards each other?"
"You need to get laid, Ino," Sakura laughs. "You dork."
"I can get laid, Kiba's the one who can't!"
"You guys," Kiba groans. "Bro, are ya coming to the animal shelter with me?"
"He will," Sasuke says smoothly.
"Wha-? But that cool new ninja movie comes out today! Don't you want to see it?" Naruto gasps.
Sasuke shrugs, and they go back to their lunch.
They meet the Sound Five outside by an old parking lot.
They seem surprised to see him, but Tayuya swaggers forward.
"Still playing at being a man?"
Sasuke gives a savage smile and reaches for his knife. He has his wires tucked in his pocket.
And it begins.
Sasuke and Suigetsu weave through the crowd, knives flashing, blood splashing back onto their hands. They find Kabuto there, his smile reminiscent of Orochimaru's.
Juugo howls.
Kabuto reaches out and grabs for Sasuke's hand.
"Don't touch me," Sasuke growls, and almost cuts off Kabuto's fingers.
"Join me." Kabuto says.
"Why the hell would he join you? You ruined his life!" Suigetsu yells. "And you got real nerve coming back! You've got some trick up your sleeve, don't ya?"
Kabuto glowers at the boy. "I'm not speaking with you. I know something about your brother."
"My brother?" Sasuke whispers.
Shit.
"Come with me and I'll tell you." Kabuto says, and Sasuke shakes his head.
"Liar... Itachi never kept anything from me..." But that was a lie, and they all knew it. Sasuke feels his throat close up.
- Itachi, what are you doing?
- Stop! STOP!
And then Naruto's face flashes up and Sasuke stumbles back, gasping and sweating and he wants to lash out, kill Kabuto right where he stands. But it's all a blur, and all he can see is red, red, red.
Suigetsu takes Sasuke by the arm and pulls him away, muttering, "We'll get that snake another day, all right?"
Sakura comes to school in tears the next day, and her hair is ragged and short.
"What happened?" Naruto demands. "Saks, what happened?"
"Who did this you?" Sasuke asks softly.
"It's nothing, you guys!" Sakura tries to smile through her tears.
She's strong, too, Sasuke thinks.
"Who?" He repeats.
"These two kids, Kin and Zaku. I've never met them before, I don't know why..." She keeps smiling, crumpled daisies in her pocket. "It's okay."
Sasuke stands up and swiftly walks out, finds Zaku lounging against the wall of the school.
"Ran away like a little coward yesterday," Zaku jeers.
"You're the one who hurt an innocent girl." Sasuke snarls, pulls out his knife.
"Hey man, it's a message. Guilt by association. Hawk's a joke, man. SF is gonna go to the top!" Zaku grins, leans forward. "You should join us, at least you have... talent."
Zaku grips his waist. "You're hot, you know?"
Sasuke rams his knife into Zaku's stomach. "I know."
Don't mess with Hawk.
Zaku gasps and clutches at his stomach, and Sasuke holds the boy by his throat. "Next time you touch anyone I care about, I'll break your arms, you understand? Actually -"
Snap.
"You seem troubled." Sasuke frowns.
Naruto takes a deep breath. "The other day -"
"Zaku was asking for it." Sasuke finishes.
"What did you do to him? When you came back in, Kiba smelled blood, and..." Naruto trails off. "That guy... He hurt Sakura..."
"He's hurt a lot of people." Sasuke says curtly.
Kakashi stirs his tea and thinks about Obito.
Kabuto's here and after Sasuke.
What would he say?
No way to really know.
He'd think Naruto was good for Sasuke, but Sasuke wouldn't be good for Naruto.
But Sasuke makes Naruto stronger, Kakashi thinks. They're a dangerous combination.
"Why'd you have to leave?" He murmurs, and he's not sure if he means Obito or Itachi.
Since Iruka can't stand their class, he sends them off to the mall.
Shikamaru hauls their group to the mattress place, and promptly falls asleep.
Sasuke and Naruto curl up together, aware of Sakura and Ino watching them. Naruto yelps when Sasuke kisses him.
"But -"
Sasuke shrugs and winks, and Naruto's his.
The first time Naruto asks him out on a "real and proper" date, it's in front of his locker and it's very sweet and awkward.
They go to Ichiraku's, Naruto's favorite ramen place.
They banter their way through dinner, and Naruto walks him home.
"Do I get a goodnight kiss?" Sasuke smirks. Naruto's kisses - hell, they're addictive.
Naruto leans forward, then jerks back. "Nope!"
Sasuke pulls Naruto forward by the arm and kisses him. "Mm."
They break apart and Naruto says softly, "I love you."
"Really, Naruto?" Sasuke murmurs. "On our first date?"
"There's no one else like you."
"There's billions of people in the world." Sasuke replies, kissing him again.
"I want you, though," Naruto kisses Sasuke's neck.
Sasuke offers him a smile. "Good night."
"Do you have to go...?" Naruto says, rocking awkwardly on his feet.
"Stay over." Sasuke says.
He dreams.
- Aniki, no!
- Suki, I'm not going to let this keep happening.
- I can take care of it, Itachi.
- I'll be home soon, okay? Stay with Kisame until then.
- I'm not a child!
And of course, he doesn't come home.
And when the door opens, it's not Orochimaru.
They're both gone.
"You were shaking in your sleep." Naruto says quietly.
Sasuke ignores him.
"I'll go, unless you want me to stay."
Sasuke shakes his head.
Naruto kisses his head, and Sasuke says suddenly, "You're fine with me?"
"Of course." Naruto smiles. "You're perfect."
"I was born a girl." Sasuke's fingers tangle in the bedsheets. "I got my brother killed. I let my team down. There's nothing good about me."
"I know. I'm sure your brother is looking down on you, yanno? He's really proud. You're amazing, Sasuke, you saved my life." Naruto says. "Get some proper rest, I'll sit here. What music do you like?"
Sasuke mumbles, "Put 'Path of the Wind' on. The remix."
He falls into a dreamless sleep, in Naruto's arms.
Hey Naruto? You saved me too.
There's knocking at his door.
It's Kabuto.
Sasuke tenses.
"Nice bow. Itachi always practiced with you, right?" Kabuto gives a weary smile. "I've found my mother, Sasuke."
"Your mother?" Sasuke's lips part in surprise. He's never thought of Kabuto having a mother, a family. A lover, even? Was Orochimaru his lover?
"I'm going out to the country with her... start a new life." Kabuto says. "This life is crazy, you know? I'm here to tell you... Itachi had a letter. He knew he was going to die, Sasuke. We filched it from your house before that night... I'm tired. Tired of it all, and so are you, aren't you? Here."
Sasuke takes the letter. "You're leaving? You think I'll let you off?"
"I wanted to make someone happy." Kabuto says hoarsely. "You get it, don't you? I wanted to be special. Orochimaru made me feel special, and then it was all about you and you just didn't want it."
His eyes...
"It wasn't the love you would've wanted," Sasuke whispers. "Goodbye, Kabuto."
"Read the letter." Kabuto says. "Goodbye, Sasuke."
Sasuke closes the door, and goes to his bedroom.
He begins to read.
Senior year brings talk of college and relationships.
Lee vows he will marry Sakura, and their bond will only grow stronger with distance. She is off to a prestigious university while he will run a dojo. Sakura giggles and cuddles closer to him. Her hair's grown, and she wears daisies in her braid again.
"What about you two?" Ino asks.
The cafe seems a bit warmer.
"Do you want to tell them?" Sasuke mutters. Naruto beams.
"Yeah! We're going to be moving in together, and um..." Naruto blushes. "We're going to the same college. So, you know, we'll still be. Uh. You know."
Ino claps and cheers. "Awesome!"
"Living together?" Kiba raises an eyebrow. "I bet Naruto'll die first."
"Hey!"
"Sasuke was in a gang, bro." Kiba says sagely. "He gets major badass points."
Sasuke smirks. "This makes you my bitch, Naruto."
"I am not your bitch!" Naruto yelps as Sasuke begins to kiss down his neck. "What - ah - happened to disliking PDA?"
"Shut it, bitch," Sasuke teases.
"Stop," Kiba groans. "You're almost as bad as my sister and her boyfriend."
"Oh, is that Kakashi's car?" Sakura peers out the window. "Is that Iruka- sensei?"
Sasuke nods. "They're dating."
"Oh wow!" Sakura says. "Are you going?"
"Hey kids!" Iruka says cheerfully. "I have just been told far too much about Sasuke's sex life."
"Why are you talking about my sex life?" Sasuke demands. "And why do you know about it, Kakashi?"
"You're not cool, Iruka- sensei!" Kiba says happily - school's almost over, and he hasn't had Iruka's class this year anyway.
"We thought we'd join you for coffee," Kakashi says pleasantly.
"All right, all right!" Naruto cheers, moving over to make space for them. He glances over at Sasuke, and the two share a small smile.
Don't you let me go, because you take my breath away.
end.
a/n: this has kind of been my baby. Transgender! Sasuke is kind of interesting to me, and I hope there isn't too much going on in this story? I wanted Kabuto to have a happy ending, because... because reasons. xD Hehe. I really enjoyed writing this. Please kindly leave your thoughts. :)
love always -