Title: Hallelujah
Spoilers: Maybe? Not sure.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters nor the song.
Summary: Faith and Bosco reflect on there torn friendship.
Note: A tad bit of my imagination. Switches from Faith's POV to Bosco's.
Chapter: 1/1 complete
Hallelujah
I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music do you?
It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled King composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
See, I always knew that things were all going to fall out like this eventually. It was always his decision on who to work with, who to stick up for, who to turn down. It was always Cruz or me. And Cruz is just someone; he can't seem to say no to. I really didn't know what to expect near the end and that was the apprehensive truth. Sometimes it brings those salty tears of sorrow into my eyes, but other times, it welcomes an angry, almost jealous pit in my stomach that never seems to go away.
I hear a song switch on the radio as I sit in my room, staring out the window. The words are ringing in my ears with the soft melody as my mind wanders. It never stays on one thing for long.
I can see Bosco falling faster and faster everyday, it pains me to say. And he wonders why I turn him down nowadays. I keep lying to him, lying to myself when I say I don't want to help him. I do, I would do anything to just smack his face and tell him to snap out of it. He's living in a dangerous world now. His own judgment seems to have tarnished into a big blur, forming a veil that's covering his eyes, those true eyes. I'm starting to think he really is helpless now, no matter how hard it is for me to believe it.
I saw him earlier today in the locker room changing into street clothes, the awkwardness and silence was pretty overwhelming. Both of us didn't know what to say. What does that tell you? How such great friends we were, partners for nearly eight long years. What was the use of getting this far if he was going to ruin it all? I'm not sure anymore.
There was just such a great amount of respect, and trust that the two of us had conversed among each other. He doesn't understand who she really is and has no idea how much of an extreme mistake he's making. It's going to cost a lot, a loyal friendship and a partner that he will never get back. I refuse to go on like this. I have a life, a family, a husband and two kids who love me dearly. Bosco's not going to interfere with that anymore. And that's a genuine fact that will not be twisted.
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
I've lost a lot of people in my life, in many more ways then just one. I have to admit, losing Faith will always be the worst thing that I let go and I'm the only one to blame.
I sit in my dark room and stare out the closed window. I make sure it's locked before returning my gaze outside into the miserable night, watching the rain smear down the glass and cover a shade over the world.
Someone's playing music, in the apartment next to me. Usually I'd get up and beat the hell out of the jag-off but I can't seem to find my feet, so I listen closely.
It sounds like a church song but it has a meaning to me, one that I can't seem to dig out of my soul. I don't know why I continue to listen but I do. I just feel like it's the end and I can no longer hide. She called me earlier. Faith. Told me she was taking a few days off and she needs a break. It sounded like she was crying though, and a part of her was remorseful. I understood what 'taking a few days off' meant when she told me not to bother calling. The words send a chill though my spine and into my cold bones as I grit my teeth.
I hung up when the line went dead and sat here until now, watching the rain pelt from the sky on this bitter cold September night. I guess I should have worked a midnight shift with ACU. Anything would be better then this.
I know I lied to Faith. But I do know that she knew it was a lie. A dirty little lie that she's never going to forgive me for. Faith isn't stupid. It was all for the best though. We got the guy in jail, isn't that all that matters? That the bad guy gets a good beating? If it's not, I don't understand this job anymore. Sure, you may have to go to the extremes, but that's how I define a good cop. Not a cop that's a coward and let's it all go so they don't get in trouble. I'm sorry but that's the way I see it. Simple as that, it really is.
I watch as the rain continues to disfigure the world from my eyes and I sigh. The empty feeling in me just won't seem to go away, a sense of loneliness and regret. I know whether I go to sleep or call Cruz, it's not going to go away. Not until something is done.
Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
I can't seem to tear my gaze from the window and I'm not sure why. It's about a quarter after midnight. I hear commotion from the TV still on in the living room, which forces me to break my stare. Sighing, I wrap my flannel blanket around my shoulders and give one last look on the window. Standing up after a moment from the chair, my feet hit the ice cold tiles and I make my way for the door, starting into the hall and into the living room slowly.
I approach the couch and observe Fred who's passed out, remote in hand, bottle of beer on the floor. I don't feel like fighting. Not tonight, I've had enough. Bending down, stands of my loose hair fall across my face as I pick up the bottle and place it on the table. Taking a blanket that's sprawled over the end of the couch, I place it over him carefully, not even bothering to wake him. I rather not talk about much right now. Sliding the remote out of his hand I turn the news off and place it on the table gently before slipping into the dark shadows and disappear back into my room.
There was a time when you let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The Holy Dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
I find myself walking down the street. It's one in the morning, need I say more? The rain is falling down harder then ever on me. My baseball cap blocks my face somewhat but doesn't do much. I slip my hands into my hoodie pocket but it doesn't do much. I'm already drenched from head to toe.
Somehow I end up in front of her apartment complex. I find myself dragging my heavy weighted body, which probably gained several pounds from the rain, up the stairs and into the doors, though and into the hall. The complex's silent, so much quieter then mine, and yet maybe it's because it's the middle of the night.
81. That's the number. 81. I continued to walk. 79, 80, and I stop at 81 and listen. All I hear is silence. Dead cold silence. My hand goes to the door in a fist, ready to knock when I freeze. I remember how she sounded on the phone and I cringe. She didn't want to talk to me, probably couldn't even look at me, and yet I'm here. I probably stand there for about 5 min, waiting, waiting for nothing.
Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
And it's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
Ten minutes later I was on my way walking home. It took me awhile to realize what's really going on. It wasn't just a fight, it was betrayal in her eyes, which was one thing, I could not understand.
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah