Title: Curse
Type: One-shot. AU. Crack!fic.
Genre: Humor? Yea right…
Rating: T
Dedication: Um… Peter Cottontail.
Summary: Sesshoumaru has a hot mom.
Notes: Everyone's OOC. Have fun.
Not many seniors in high school could get away with bragging about living in the same house as their mother. "Oh, yea? Well my mom came into my room in the middle of last night because I was having a nightmare" doesn't exactly scream 'respect me'. At Shikon High, there was only one who person who could pull that off if he wanted to, though the guy kind of resented that fact. But then again, Sesshoumaru was known to resent a lot of things.
"Hey, Taishou!"
Wolves, for instance, being a fine example.
The dog demon shut his locker and turned to address the nuisance. "Kouga."
The boy grinned up at Sesshoumaru through his bangs, and Sesshoumaru all ready had a bad feeling regarding what was about to drop out of the wolf's mouth.
"Can I hang out at your house after school?"
"Hn."
"Is that a yes?"
"No." He moved to step around the wolf.
Kouga stepped in front of him. "Keh, come on. It's not like I'm gonna bother you."
He narrowed his eyes. "Mother is out of town."
Most people thought Sesshoumaru was a pretty lucky guy. Good looks, intellect, sex appeal, deep voice, you know, the whole package. Emphasis on the package.
However, Sesshoumaru also had a Mother. No, not a mother. Not a mom, or a mommy, or a mum, or anything else one might think to address their biological female parent. The one curse no boy ever wanted had befallen him, and every other boy knew about it.
Sesshoumaru had a hot mom. We're talking rich, splashed on the cover of magazines, hot. OH MY GAWD hot. Hot with two T's hott. I can't believe it's not butter hot. You know, hawt hott.
"Damn, are you serious?" The boy frowned, trying to come up with a new set of plans for his Friday night. Sesshoumaru stalked past him, more than ready to slice the wolf to ribbons.
"Yo, Sess!"
He kept walking.
"Sesshoumaru!"
He refused to stop. The exit was just in sight-
"TAISHOU SESSHOUMARU!"
His steps came to a reluctant halt. "Yes."
Bankoustu paused to take in the demon's agitated appearance. "So… we have math class together."
"Indeed," Sesshoumaru sniffed.
"Yea, so you mind if I come over sometime this weekend? We could hang out or something…"
"Mother is out of town."
"Ah well, yea…" Bankoutsu's eyes glazed over at the very thought of seeing her again.
Disgusted, Sesshoumaru continued on his way.
You see, as if it wasn't bad enough Sesshoumaru had a Mother, he had a Mother who made herself very available. Now, we're not talking slutty, Paris Hilton available. Or pantiless Britney Spears available. We're talking more… prestigious country club bicycle available. Still, in Sesshoumaru's opinion, it didn't help any.
Now in his car heading home, the dog demon gave himself a mental pat on the back. He's only been confronted twenty times or so today. He'd managed to make it home for a Friday night alone.
This, in case you didn't realize, was a rarity. Almost akin to thinking you've run out of popcorn and remembering you'd stashed an unpopped bag beneath your bed. Or having one of those cliché-yet-romantic trip-into-the-arms-of-your-crush scenes you see at the movies.
"Sesshoumaru," his Mother drifted from the dining room to meet him at the door. "Have you brought any girls home with you?" She peered over his shoulder, the corner of her mouth pulled up in a trademark smirk. "Hm, you're not homosexual are you, darling?"
Of course, it had been so long since Sesshoumaru had actually been home alone with his Mother that he'd forgotten what it was like. And maybe, just maybe, that little out-of-town line wasn't a blessing.