Insomniac Kisses- (bows) I'm VERY sorry to all my readers who've been waiting for the 3rd chapter in Patience... I'm stuck in a writers block right now so it may be a while till it's updated once again. But I've writtin this to give you guys something to read... it's been an idea that's been lingering in my head for some while... so I hope you all enjoy!
Itachi Uchiha and Kisame were walking back from their mission to the Akatsuki hideout in the River Country. Itachi had joined the Akatsuki 3 years ago, making him 15 years old. And Kisame was... well, actually, no one really knew. He was half shark and half human. What his parents looked like, I really don't want to know... Itachi was as normal as 'normal' got in the Akatsuki...
The duo were resting near the bank of a river, Itachi leaning against a tree with his eyes closed and Kisame attempting on catching a fish. A few moments passed when a brown shape caught the shark's eye. Looking up stream, a small sized basket floated on the top of the water, being carried downstream to where Kisame was. Keeping his eyes on it as it came closer, he grabbed it once it was within reach. It was light... only about 15 pounds.
He then heard something from the inside. Swiftly he walked to the bank and motioned the Uchiha over. Itachi stood up and gracefully strode over to Kisame. "Yes?"
"Look..."
Itachi looked down at the basket. "Open it."
Kisame looked at the basket, then to Itachi, then back to the basket. Balancing the woven basket on his left arm, he lifted the straw lid, shining light on two sleeping figures.
"Babies?" Kisame was baffled. The heck was this? Two babes were in a basket floating down stream!
One baby had a red fuzz among it's crown of its head while the other had a light brown. Both were wrapped in brown cloth up to their chins. The red-head had slightly pale skin and on its right wrist sat the yin part of the yin yang charm. It was on a thick gold chain. The brunette had fairer skin and on its left wrist sat the yang charm upon a thick gold chain.
The one with red hair frowned and opened it's eyes revealing deep emerald eyes. Its chin trembled as a sob escaped its lips.
"Oh no..." Kisame started wide eyed. The baby better not start crying!
A loud wail left the child's mouth and the brunette awoke at it's (assumed) sibling's cries. Then, the other began to cry.
Itachi let out a small sigh. Not wanting to hear the children wailing the whole time, he reached to the brunette and brought it into his arms. Slowly, the baby stopped crying and looked wide-eyed at the boy. Big chocolate eyes stared into vibrant red. Then, the baby lifted its chubby right hand and stuck it's thumb into its mouth, becoming sleepy once again.
Meanwhile, Kisame did not know what to do with the wailing child of doom. So, mimicking Itachi, he sat the basket down and picked up the child. Holding it like Itachi, he rocked the child back and forth. The child got quieter but then had the hiccups from crying.
"Put it's head on your shoulder and gently pat it's back." Itachi instructed seeing the confused fish.
Kisame did as commanded and the child let out a burp and then started cooing. It's cubby hand reached up and gripped a handful of blue hair.
The shark winced and let out a small growl. Children. Sheesh...
The babe in Itachi's care was fast asleep, still sucking it's thumb. Itachi made sure that the baby was sound asleep until he spoke. "We should keep going now. We're almost there."
Kisame nodded, the baby still messing up his hair. "Are we keeping them?" Wow.. He makes it sound as if children are pets...
Itachi just shrugged and began to walk with Kisame following.
"What should we name them?"
"Are they a boy or a girl?"
That hit Kisame hard. They never found out the babe's gender yet. Well, he sure wasn't going to do that. "Dunno."
The rest of the walk was a silent one besides the two babes cooing at random moments.
"Ahhh! Itachi-san! Kisame-san! You're back, un!" (Guess who...) Deidara happily exclaimed as the two S-ranked Criminals walked through the door- well, the cave.. Er.. Opening... Kisame only acknowledged with a grunt and Itachi with nothing.
"Un? Is that a baby, un?" Deidara peeked at the blanket in Kisame's arms.
"Yeah."
This caught the attention of Hidan who was in the living room with Diedara. "A child?" Hidan questioned. "What for?"
"We found them, and brought them back." Kisame answered simply.
The child that Itachi held began to stir and Deidara was right by Itachi in a mili-second. Deidara's baby blue eyes met with the babe's soft chocolate ones.
"So Kawaii! Un!" Deidara squealed happily. "Can I hold it Itachi-san!? Please, un!" Itachi just handed over the child to Deidara and walked out of the room. Deidara gently rubbed the child's cheek and it let out a small coo. "AWWWWWWWWWW, UN!" Both Kisame and Hidan looked at Deidara strangely.
Seeing as Kisame was going to give the child to him, Hidan mumbled an excuse- it sounded like "I need to go pray" - and was out of the room faster than you could say, "Religion" Kisame sighed and looked down at the sleeping child. He then began to walk to his room and saw Sasori walking towards him, probably to get Deidara or to argue with him.
And without a word, Kisame handed the child to the puppet master and continued to his room.
Sasori blinked once he knew Kisame was gone. Looking down he saw a baby. What was Kisame doing with a child? Sasori shook his head and continued on his way to the so-called living room. When he was near the living room he could hear Deidara's happy cheers. Walking into the room he saw Deidara cuddling a child as well. Did he miss something here?
He looked down to see two emerald jewels stare back at him. The child grinned a toothless smile and raised both arms, hands facing Sasori. Sasori unsure, lifted the child higher, letting it rest it's head upon his shoulder. The child let out a happy coo and reached for Sasori's red hair.
"Sasori-danna! Aren't the babes adorable, un!?!?" Deidara was pulling the brunettes thumb out of its mouth and when he let go, the baby would bring it back up to its lips and began to suck on it, and then Deidara would pull it away and the pattern continued.
Sasori just nodded and laid the child down on the couch. Missing the warmth of a person, the child began to sob. Tears bubbled up on the sides of the child's eyes and its mouth let a loud cry, startling everyone in the room.
"Sasori-dannaaaaa! You made red-chibi cry, Un!!" Deidara handed the brown-haired baby to Sasori as Deidara dashed over to the red-head and rocked it, chanting over and over, "It's alright, It's okay." And just like that, the child was calm again.
Sasori was looking down at the child who was staring back at him. They were having a staring contest. Sasori blinked. The child gurgled happily.
"What is all the noise for?!" Kazuku stormed in- he was probably interrupted while counting his precious money. His eyes grew wide at what was in the two member's arms. "Is- that... Are those?"
"They're babies, un!" Deidara grinned at the shocked face.
"Did you tell Sir Leader?"
"Well, no, un..." Deidara let his smile drop.
"I asked." Everyone in the room saw the oldest Uchiha leaning against the wall. "He said he didn't mind just as long as they didn't interfere with our missions. He wants to see them as well..."
"See them, un?" Deidara held the red-head closer to him, protectively.
"Yes." Itachi strode over to Deidara, taking the child out of his hands. He then walked over to Sasori and took the other child, one in each arm. And he left the room.
Deidara had waterfall tears streaming down his face, "Leader-sama will let them stay right, un?" Deidara clutched Sasori's cloak, looking up in hope.
Sasori just stared at his insane partner and shrugged. Kazuku was just plain confused. "Well, I don't mind them here." the money-obsessed man spoke. 'Just as long as they keep quiet, don't drool and stay away from me...'
TO LEADER-SAMA'S OFFICE!
"Come in, Itachi." The Sharingan user pushed open the door and walked in with a child in each arm. Behind the desk was a big leather chair, and slowly, it turned revealing a smoky figure with piercing eyes. He rested his elbows on the desk and folded his hands, "I've been expecting you..." (I.K.- cracks up sorry I couldn't help my self!!! moving on, moving on!!!!)
Itachi resisted rolling his eyes and walked up to the desk in fluent, silent steps. "These are the children." With a rare gentleness, he placed the two on the leader's desk. The one to his left was sucking it's right thumb and held the Yang sign. The other was just staring, mouth agape. That one obtained the Yin sign.
Leader-sama nodded in what seemed like approval, "Yes... these two may be of use to us in the future. We shall keep them." Itachi wondered if Leader considered children as pets. "They are of the female race. (I.K. - wtf man? What are we aliens?!?!) This one-" He pointed to the one on his right-"will be called Yin. The other will be Yang, and you will address them as such."
(I.K.- isn't leader-sama creative?)
Itachi nodded. "I will inform the others." And that he did.
"YAY, UN!" Deidara twirled the red head child around giddily. The child gurgled and spoke in baby language, a small amount of drool falling from the side of it's (now her) mouth. "So you're Yin... Kawaii, un!!!" He hugged the child.
The other, now known as Yang, was fast asleep on the couch between Sasori and Hidan. Small slurping noised were heard as she sucked her thumb.
Kisame walked in to see Deidara flinging around the new child and the other sound asleep.. He sighed, at least they weren't crying.
Way to jinx yourself...
Just then Yin's face contorted in pain, blotches of red seeped through her skin as she began to grunt. Two seconds later, she relaxed and was back to normal.
A moment passed.
"Hey, uh... Kisame...?" Hidan spoke unsurely.
"What?" Fishy was kind of scared.
"I think Yin needs to be changed, un."
"No fucking way in hell."
I.K. -Sooooo... What do you guys think???? I know first chapter for me usually sucks but... oh!!! If you guys have any ideas on how to embarass the Akatsuki through parenthood please do tell! and if you have a story from when you were a baby that you think would be funny, please tell me so i can put it in here! We need some ideas for this story!!!! THANK YOU FOR READING!