A/N: For INUKAG Week on Tumblr: Day 5: Sorrow
Thank you to my amazing beta, as always, especially for the suggestion for the title. You rock, pretty girl :)
Quietus: (n) 1. Release from life; death. 2. A finishing stroke; anything that effectually ends or settles.
Quietus
Soft wind brushed through the branches of the Goshinboku. The rustling leaves fell from their branches and landed on the thickly thatched roof below. The hut sat like a timid mouse under the sprawling boughs of the ancient tree, merely a child compared to all it had witnessed in its long life.
Amber eyes peered out into the approaching darkness. His ears flickered atop his head as the fire in the center of the small house crackled and popped. Black brows furrowed as his nails made crescent-shaped indentations into his skin.
They're late.
A deep exhale of breath caught his attention. Worried eyes turned, watching the woman stir beneath the covers. The fire cast his silver mane in a golden glow as he crouched down, brushing his fingers gently over her cheek.
"Inu…yasha," she whispered weakly.
"I'm here. It's all right."
She turned her head toward him, licking her dry, cracked lips. "I'm… glad."
"Be still. Save your strength." He rolled up the sleeves of his white kimono further, dunking his hands into the cool water beside them. Ringing out a cloth, he placed it gently upon her forehead.
She hummed with content. "Do you remember… the first time we met?"
He scrunched up his nose. "I told you to be still, woman."
"I was so angry with you," she continued as if he said nothing. "Calling me dumb and pathetic."
"Keh," he scoffed, relenting to her insistency. He knew she wouldn't listen to him, stubborn as she was. "Can you blame me? You're the one who showed up in that weird outfit of yours."
She chuckled, her voice raspy and jaded. "I should sit you for that one."
His ear flicked instinctively, but no weight pulled against his neck. His hand reached for the empty space as a deep sense of longing overcame him. It had been years, yet it still felt like something was missing.
"Inuyasha."
He startled out of his thoughts. "Please, Kagome," he urged quietly. "You need to rest."
She looked at him then. Her eyes that had always been like the deep brown of the winter trees at twilight had faded to glossy chestnut. "Are they back?"
Shaking his head, wisps of silver hair fell over his shoulder. "Not yet. Which is why you need to rest. They'll be here soon."
She hummed again. "I see. They're running late."
"They probably just got sidetracked," he assured. "Give them some time."
"I don't have… any more time to give."
Her words sent a cold shiver down his spine. He clenched his jaw and fought against the sting of tears behind his eyes. "Only a little longer. They'll be here."
Kagome gave him a worn and tired smile. "No," she murmured gently. "They won't."
He swallowed hard. The love that had nestled in his soul and made him a better man now reached out with a clawed hand around his neck. He struggled for breath and choked back his tears. Kagome's obsidian hair, now thin and wane, lay in wisps over the pillow. She was struggling just to stay awake.
"You were meant to fall through the well that day," he heard himself say. He grasped her hand, now gnarled with age. "You were meant to meet me."
"I know." Her eyes never left his. "We were born for each other, even if you didn't realize it for a while." She grinned.
The image of her sitting in the grass when they first met came to him then, her face screwed into annoyance as he called her by another woman's name. It had been almost eighty years since that day. Kagome's face was now battered by weather and wrinkled beyond recognition, but in his mind's eye it was youthful, the face he fell in love with so many decades ago.
"Inuyasha," she called now, her hand tightening in his.
He glanced up, his eyes ghosting over her frail body. "What is it?" What can I do?
"Take me to see the stars." She sighed. "I thought we would see the stars together. One last time."
Without saying a word, he wrapped his arms tenderly around her and pulled her to his chest. Although it had been eighty years, his demon blood hadn't aged him much. His body was still strong, able to care for her long after hers gave out.
Inuyasha carried her outside into the cool evening air to the base of the Goshinboku. He rested on the large, twisted roots of the tree, cradling her in his lap. "Look, Kagome," he spoke softly.
Her eyes fluttered open, gazing at the luminous sky above. The stars burned with the brilliant sapphire pallor of electric light as the moon glowed with ethereal wonder. "It's beautiful." Her lips caused her cheeks to dimple and wrinkles creased the corners of her eyes.
"Yeah," he agreed. They sat in silence for a few moments, and he listened to her shallow breathing. He could barely hear her heart beat.
She opened her mouth in a deep yawn. "I want you… to remember me when I'm gone."
Inuyasha could feel it, the dread building like an unstoppable snowball in the pit of his stomach. "I'll never forget the times we had together. How could I?"
He remembered the first time he had called her by name and all their adventures together. He could still feel the touch of her lips against his when they kissed while battling the darkness of the Shikon Jewel. He recalled their marriage vows and the birth of their children; as well as the heartbreaking sorrow when they first lost Miroku, and then Sango.
Through everything, the good and the bad, they had clung together like two sailors in a storm. He proved time and time again he would have laid down his life for her, and she would have for him.
They were two halves that made a whole. He knew for certain that the love that had saved him would now break him. He stroked her ashy gray hair and told her the story of how he fell for her eighty years previously. "You captured my heart, Kagome, in more ways than I thought possible." His heart started beating harder and faster. "I never regretted a single moment of my time with you."
She sighed and looked up at him. "Neither did I."
Inuyasha felt a stinging in his nose and his throat started to tighten. He opened his mouth to let in a small breath as tears welled in his eyes. He fought with everything he had to keep them from falling, but when Kagome smiled wanly up at him, he couldn't control it.
Pearl-shaped tears slowly streamed down his face and he started to whimper. "Please," he begged. Deep down he knew it was no use. His shoulders slumped forward as he crushed her to his chest. Her scent had changed, no longer the one he had come to call home. His eyes stung and his body trembled. "…don't go."
Kagome gently placed her hand upon his cheek, causing him to pull away and look at her. She wiped away his tears. "I am simply a chapter in your life," she cooed softly. "You have to…take care of our children. They are still so young."
"I'm so sorry." His voice was brittle, as if he were about to break. "I couldn't protect you like I promised."
She chuckled hoarsely. "Inuyasha," she chastised. "You and I both know you can't protect against time."
He knew she was right, but it didn't make this any easier. When they first realized she was aging, the sure reality of their situation came crashing down. While she became slower and lines creased her face, he stayed frozen in time. They both knew she would pass long before he did, and she had tried to speak to him about it, to plan for her inevitable death. But he didn't want to hear it.
"Thank you," she whispered.
Inuyasha peered down at her, gazing into the eyes he knew so well. "For what?"
"For protecting me. For saving me. For choosing me."
"Stupid. Of course I would protect you." He cupped her cheek. "And I'd always choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you."
Her eyes blurred with tears as she understood the hidden meaning behind his words. "Four-hundred years is a long time to wait."
"Keh," he scoffed, brushing off her words. "I'd wait a lifetime, if only to see you again."
"Don't you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow," she admonished.
He could only nod, his words failing him.
Kagome was quiet for several moments. Her eyes slid closed as her breathing became quiet. He watched her chest rise and fall, his blood rushing in his ears. He felt like the world was slowly disappearing in front of him. His heart pounded so hard against his chest, he was sure it would break his ribs and rip apart his skin. The realization of the vacuum, the nothingness, would consume him entirely.
"I'm so tired," she murmured, her voice a mere breath in the wind, but it still startled him.
Inuyasha swallowed thickly and grasped for every ounce of courage he possessed. "Then go to sleep," he replied softly. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "It's okay."
Kagome would never open her eyes again. Her breathing would stop for a moment, only to reemerge like a drowning victim coming up for one last breath. And then her fragile, human heart, which had fallen so deep in love with him, beat one last time, and she was gone.
He clung to her long after her soul left. There was coldness in her limbs and her skin tone changed to a pasty blue. In that moment of loss, his world collapsed. Where there was light became shadows, the pain coming and going like waves on frigid sand. Though his mind called out for hers, the connection was gone. She was gone. And he finally knew that his time to be alone had come.
His ears could faintly hear the fire still crackling from within their hut as he stared up at the stars that blanketed the sky. If he were to call them beautiful like she had, it wouldn't do them any justice. It was more than that, like staring into someone's eyes. And somewhere out there was his home.
Inuyasha couldn't help but feel like the last man standing. He had lost every one of his friends; Sango and Miroku to illness, Kagome to time. He wondered what the point of it all was. Then the scent in the wind changed, and he suddenly knew. He wasn't alone, and he never would be again. His friends had made sure of that.
Only moments after he had laid Kagome to rest next to their departed friends, he turned to glance toward the village. Six silhouettes against the sunrise ventured toward him, waving their hands in greeting. He smiled. In that extended moment in time his mind became at peace.
Kagome was not gone – just out of reach for now.