At the moment whenever I see Emmerdale, I want to write something of my own. So making hay while the sun shines, and all! A one shot, not set with any particular time in mind, just before Gordon's trial. Warning that mentions made throughout of child abuse, relating to the storyline at the moment.
Chas came downstairs in the morning, and found Aaron on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. He didn't even move when she came in.
"Have you been there all night?" she asked. Aaron nodded and she felt her heart plummet.
"I've been thinking," he said, sitting up and rubbing his face hard. "I'm going to drop the case."
"What?" Chas said surprised. "No, you can't!"
"I have to mum. I can't do it."
"Aaron, you have to stand up to him. He can't get away with it! You can't let him win!"
"He already has," Aaron said simply. "I told Robert what he did to me two months ago now. And I've barely stopped crying since. If I drop it, I'll be able to forget about it and move on. Move on with my life. I won't be living with the secret any more, because you know, and… well, everyone knows. That won't change. I don't…" he shook his head. "I don't have the strength in me."
Chas sat next to him and held his hand tightly. "You're the strongest person I know. You can do this."
"No. I can't. Don't bother. I've made up my mind." Aaron stood up and shrugged, turning towards the door.
"Where're you going?" Chas asked desperately.
"Out." She heard the door close behind him and listened for a moment. She heard the sound of his engine and sighed as Aaron clearly drove off. It took her about five seconds to make her mind up and she called Robert.
"I need to talk to you. Now."
"What do you want?" Robert asked, hands in his pockets as he walked through the door five minutes later.
"Aaron wants to drop the case against Gordon," she said bluntly, not having the time to beat around the bush. Robert sighed and slumped a little in disappointment, she could read it on his face.
"Why?"
"He says he can't do it."
"What do you want from me?" Robert said.
"I want you to change his mind," Chas said loudly.
"I'm not sure I can do that," he said, shaking his head.
"Oh come on!" Chas said, almost shouting. "You've proved yourself to be a master manipulator over the last year. Can't you do it now that it actually matters?!" Robert sighed but didn't answer. "He listens to you," Chas said. "He won't listen to me."
"You ever think it might be better for him?" Robert suggested. "I don't think it is," he added to the horrified look on her face. "Maybe he thinks if it's just dropped, he'll get over it quicker."
"He won't," Chas said.
"Well, we both know that," Robert said easily. "Where is he? The cars gone."
"I don't know."
Robert ran a hand through his hair in agitation. "Look, he feels like he's in a losing battle," he said. "He thinks he'll lose the case. Which… if we're being honest?" Robert looked directly at her, keeping eye contact, trying to let her know how seriously he was taking this. "He probably will. It's his word against Gordon's. There is no other evidence. No matter how much we know Aaron's telling the truth." Chas shook her head, not wanting to accept that.
"I'll talk to him," Robert said. "I'm not going to promise to talk him into it, though."
"Where'll you find him?"
"I've got an idea where he'll be," Robert said, avoiding the question. "In the meantime, I think you should have a "motherly chat" with Sandra. Convince her to do the right thing."
"Aaron tried that already."
"Yeah," Robert said with a slight tilt of the head. "But maybe you'll have more success." He took a scruffy bit of paper out of his jacket and handed it to her. "That's where you'll find her. And it can't hurt to try."
Chas couldn't disagree with that, anything was worth a shot. "Please try and talk to him," she asked.
"I will." Robert got up to leave when Chas spoke again.
"I hate myself," she said. "I… hate myself."
"Chas, this isn't down to you."
"If I hadn't left him alone with his father, this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have a son who feels so broken and useless and… who's hurting like hell right now." A tear fell down her cheek and she shook her head. "I left my son in the care of the man who raped him. How can I not blame myself for that?"
Robert didn't know what to say to that, so instead he put his hand on her shoulder, trying to be at least reassuring. "Aaron doesn't blame you."
"Find him," she said.
"I will."
"He… wont do anything stupid, will he?" They knew she was talking about Aaron's self harm problem. Robert didn't answer because he didn't have the guarantees Chas wanted. Robert turned and left, going down the road to his car. He had a vague idea where Aaron would be.
Aaron had parked across the road from the police station, but hadn't moved since. He was just looking at the door, wondering if he'd find the bottle to go in and withdraw his statement. He had no idea how long he'd been sat there when there was a knock on the window. He sighed, seeing Robert there and he unwound the window.
"Let me guess, mum sent you to find me."
"Something like that," Robert said. "Want company?"
"Doesn't matter what I say, you're not going anywhere are you?" Aaron said, slightly pleased that Robert knew him well enough to track him down. Robert moved around the car and sat in the passenger seat. "Here to talk me out of it?"
"No," Robert said. "Here to talk."
Aaron sighed. "I've had enough," he said. "I'm sick of talking about it, I'm sick of thinking about it. And… I'm tired of crying. I won't win anyway, so what's the point?"
"Letting the world know what he is?" Robert suggested. "I'm not telling you what to do," he added. "But you're stronger than he is."
"No, I'm not," he said, shaking his head.
"Yes, Aaron, you are," he said. "Whether you see it or not. You got away and built a life for yourself, away from him."
"Why are you here?" Aaron asked bluntly, looking at him. "What do you get out of this?"
"I get to know I didn't leave you to deal with this on your own. I get to be there for you. That's all." Aaron sighed heavily and Robert tried something else. "What if… in a year, or three, or ten, you find out he abused someone else? Could you live with that? Because I know you, Aaron. And I'm not sure you could." He sighed before speaking again. "Even if you go to trial and he's found not guilty, you'll have tried."
"Mum told you to talk me out of it, didn't she?" Aaron asked shrewdly.
"No." Aaron looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Okay, she did but… that's not why I'm here."
"Robert?" He looked at him, waiting for Aaron to carry on. "Go home." He spoke lightly, but the request was there all the same. "I… I'm glad you came, but I need to do this on my own. Go home."
"I'll be here, whatever you decide," he said. Robert squeezed his hand lightly and left the car. He'd parked four cars behind Aaron and sat in his own car, waiting and watching. Aaron wouldn't have to know he'd stayed. Robert could see the logic of dropping the case, even if he didn't like it. All he wanted was for Aaron to get past this, to get back to some semblance of normal where the horror of his past didn't affect his life. Or at least his day to day life.
While he watched, he text Chas. I've done my best. Don't know if it'll help.