The disclaimer telling you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters hasn't been developed yet. Just another crazy one shot story with the Misfits! As if there are any other kind…
Just Shoot Me
"Of all the ideas Psyche-Out has ever had this has got to be the lamest!" Low Light shouted as he looked in the mirror, fidgeting with his tie. "And with his record that is saying something!"
"Oh clam up," Cover Girl told him. She was wearing a nice green dress and helped him with his tie. "You look fine. It will do you and the kids good to clean up a little. Even if it is for an hour or so."
"That's about as long as these maniacs will last," Low Light grunted. "Why do we have to dress up for this? Can't we just grab one of those disposable cameras, take a few shots and send it in to CVS like everyone else?"
"I think having a Misfit family portrait is a lovely idea," Cover Girl said.
"You're the only one," Shipwreck grunted as he walked in wearing his dress Navy uniform. "I agree with Low Light this is for the birds!"
"Shipwreck you know you didn't have to wear your dress uniform for this," Cover Girl said. "The point of this was to have some nice family bonding."
"Hey! I'm a sailor through and through!" Shipwreck pointed to himself with his thumb. "I am proud to be a Navy man! This uniform shows the dignity and pride that I have in my job! And since you wouldn't let me wear my pirate outfit I figured this would have to do."
"Oh man this is gonna be a nightmare," Roadblock sighed as he walked by in a nice suit. "It took me two hours alone to get Toad's hair combed and straightened. Then three seconds later he sneezed and it all became a mess again. So I said the hell with it."
"Why didn't you put gel in it?" Cover Girl asked.
"Because Pietro and Freddy took it all!" Roadblock told him. "And something tells me they didn't take it all for personal use. So here's a safety tip everybody better watch where they sit or put their feet in."
"Oh man last time they put it in Beach Head's boots!" Low Light groaned. "And you know the most frightening part of it? It took him two weeks to figure out what they did!"
"Well his first clue should have been when his feet smelled better," Shipwreck snickered. "I think that's why when he found out what they did to him, he asked what product it was so he could refill 'em."
"Gotta admit he's really loosening up more," Low Light said.
"Either that or he's become just as crackers as the rest of us," Roadblock groaned.
"I HATE DRESSES!" Spyder stormed in. Her hair was in pigtail braids and she was wearing a cute orange and blue dress. "I LOOK LIKE A GIRL!"
"Spyder…This might come as a shock to you…" Low Light told her. "You are a girl." He looked at Cover Girl. "I thought you gave her the talk? What did you do, skip a few details?"
Lance walked in wearing a sharp black suit and tie. "There she is!" He grinned. "There's my sweet little angel!"
"Quit it Lance!" Spyder snapped. "He's been doing this to me the second you stuffed me into this clown outfit!"
"What?" Lance grinned broadly. "Can't a loving big brother tell his sweet little sister that she looks so pretty. Isn't she the most adorable little thing?"
"Bite me Lance," Spyder growled.
"All right that's enough," Cover Girl said. "Spyder you look lovely."
"DON'T SAY THAT!" Spyder screamed. "Man I feel ridiculous wearing this getup! It's all so frou frou and girly! I hate it!"
"But you look so cuuuuuuuuutteee!" Lance mocked in a syrupy voice and pulled on one of her pigtails.
"Oh you are so dead the second this torture is over!" Spyder smacked his hand and stomped out. "The moment that picture is taken is the moment you will die! DIE I TELL YOU!"
"It's worth it!" Lance cackled following her.
"Lance!" Cover Girl shouted after him. "Just once, once I'd like you people to act like human beings! Is that too much to ask?"
A loud crash could be heard. "Apparently yes," Low Light remarked.
"Great! Now what?" Cover Girl moaned.
"Arcade and Blob are having a minor disagreement about which show was better," The Blind Master walked in. "The Munsters or the Addams Family."
"Well that's just what we need!" Cover Girl stormed out. "YOU BOYS BETTER NOT HAVE MESSED UP YOUR SUITS!"
"Why are we letting her do this to us?" Low Light asked. "I mean we can take her if we have to right? I mean look at you Gabe, you're a ninja master for crying out loud!"
"A blind ninja master," The Blind Master reminded him. "And I don't want to take any chances of losing any other senses!"
"It's just our luck, we're stuck," Roadblock shrugged.
Downstairs Cover Girl had broken up the argument between the two boys. "Look the world is big enough for people who like Grandpa Munster and Uncle Fester. Can't you two boys agree to disagree?"
"Yeah as long as they agree that Grandpa Munster was a scientific genius!" Fred snapped.
"Grandpa Munster couldn't invent his way out of a paper bag!" Arcade snapped back. "Everybody knows that Fester was ahead of his time!"
"Who freaking cares?" Wanda stormed in wearing a red dress. "Can't we have one day here without some stupid argument?"
"Is she kidding?" Arcade asked Fred.
"Wanda you look lovely," Cover Girl said. "Where's your brother?"
"Hitting on the photographer's assistant," She told her.
"You know you have such lovely eyes," Pietro smoothed his hair as he batted his eyes with the blonde assistant. "How about after the session we go somewhere to get to know each other better?"
"How about you just go somewhere?" The assistant told him.
"Your place sounds good to me," Pietro grinned.
"Pietro! Stop harassing her!" Cover Girl walked in getting all the Misfits settled in as best she could. Quinn! Get away from the equipment! You are not going to take that apart! Brittany! Stop putting lipstick on Xi! Xi wash that gunk off your face, use the downstairs bathroom!"
"I can't," Xi remarked. He was wearing a black outfit as well as blue eye shadow and pink lipstick. "Todd and Althea are in there."
"Again?" Cover Girl let out an exasperated groan. She stormed to the bathroom and pounded on the door. "TODD TOLENSKY AND ALTHEA DELGADO YOU STOP MAKING OUT AND GET YOUR BUTTS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME…"
"Okay, okay…" Todd came out with Althea. "You don't have to get so hyper about it."
"Hyper? You haven't seen me hyper yet!" Cover Girl snapped. Then she saw the babies happily running wild wearing only their diapers. "DIDN'T ANYBODY DRESS THEM YET?"
"I don't think so," Todd remarked. He saw Spyder. "Hey Short Stack! Looking good!"
"I love your pigtails," Arcade grinned.
"I hate you people…" Spyder growled at them.
"All right!" Cover Girl snapped. "Althea, Wanda you two get the babies dressed!"
"Why me?" Wanda asked.
"Because I'm not putting these two together!" Cover Girl pointed at Althea and Todd. "Xi wash off that makeup! Everybody stop picking on Spyder! Where are Lina and Angelica?"
"Playing cards with Spirit," Fred told her.
"They'd better not be playing poker again!" Cover Girl ran off to corral them.
"I hope not," Lance said. "Spirit still owes Angelica fifty bucks from the last game."
"DARIA! PUT DOWN THAT FLAME-THROWER! I TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES WE ARE NOT HAVING THAT IN THE PICTURE!" Cover Girl screamed. "NO YOU CAN'T USE NINJA SWORDS EITHER!"
Twenty minutes later the Misfits were gathered outside in front of a very frustrated photographer. "People or whatever else you are can we have some order please?" He begged. "You with the scales stand over there…Uh the big guy could you please stand in the back. Would you with the glasses stop making faces! You with the antennae on her head stand over there…And you get away from my assistant!"
"How can you say we're not good together?" Pietro ignored him.
"Very easily!" She retorted.
"Okay could somebody please get the little one with the beak to stop biting the wires?" The Photographer groaned. "Honey what's that in your hand? Please tell me that's not a rifle!"
"Actually it's a mini bazooka I made," Quinn said.
"Quinn put it down!" Cover Girl snapped.
"This is so stupid…" Low Light groaned.
"It is not!" Cover Girl snapped. "Now shut up and smile!"
"Okay let's try this again!" The photographer moaned. "Please stop making faces!"
"Yeah Dad knock it off," Althea said.
"At least I'm not trying to make out with my boyfriend!" Shipwreck stuck his tongue out at her.
"You are so immature!" Althea snapped.
"I know you are," Shipwreck said. "What am I?"
"Will you two knock it off before I knock you both on your butts?" Cover Girl snapped. "LOW LIGHT STOP MAKING FACES AT ME!"
"Well stop being a pain in the butt!" Low Light snapped.
"You are about two seconds away from having your butt kicked!" Cover Girl snapped.
"Oh somebody help me," Low Light mocked.
The Blind Master whispered to Spirit. "Five will get you ten she cleans his clock in under five minutes."
"You're on!" Spirit agreed.
"I want in on this," Roadblock said. "I say she does it in two!"
"Such beautiful blue eyes," Pietro had returned to harass the assistant. "Such stunning good looks. But enough about me, let's talk about how you like me."
"If you don't get this kid off my back I'm quitting!" The assistant shouted.
"Pietro don't bother the nice lady," Shipwreck shoved him out of the way. He made eyes at her. "Now if you want to be with a real man…"
"THAT'S IT!" The assistant screamed. "I'M OUT OF HERE!" She stormed off.
"Way to go genius!" Althea shouted.
"SHELIA! HEY! KID GET THAT FLAME-THROWER AWAY FROM MY EQUIPMENT!" The photographer shouted.
"Burn it kid! Burn it!" Low Light chanted.
"THAT'S IT!" Cover Girl turned around and leapt onto him.
"Told you," Roadblock chuckled as he collected his cash.
"Double or nothing she uses the flame-thrower!" The Blind Master challenged as Cover Girl wailed on Low Light.
"Hey come on guys knock it off!" Lance shouted. "We gotta take a picture of how cute Olivia is!"
"THAT'S IT! TIME TO DIE!" Spyder leapt onto Lance.
"Face it Arcade, Marylyn Munster was the most cunning," Fred was back to arguing with Arcade.
"WEDNESDAY ADDAMS WOULD CLEAN MARYLYN'S CLOCK ANY DAY OF THE WEEK AND YOU KNOW IT!" Arcade shouted.
"THAT'S IT! YOU WANT A PICTURE! HERE!" The photographer took a picture of them fighting. "I AM OUT OF HERE!" He ran off for dear life.
"Just what we need," Wanda sighed. "Another precious family moment captured forever on film."
"Yeah remind me to burn the evidence later," Angelica told her.
"Way ahead of you," Quinn readied her flame-thrower. "Cover Girl! Wait your turn!"