Good day humans. We, including my self and Orange, bring you our first story. Neither do Orange and I care that this idea has been done before. For we have our own ideas and will make the plot seem more interesting. It will be posted when ever we feel like it when napping is too boring for our likes. Or when our human is away. (Which is never..) Now I will allow Orange to speak. He is bold print.
Mew, welcome people! We have a story for you guys. What is it called? Scroll down! You'll see it then. Me and Tundra don't own the characters except our idea.
Gimme Milk, Now!
Chapter One: It's all Tobi's fault
It was a pleasant day in the Akatsuki base. There was no sign of leaf nins or toilet paper nins fanning around their hide out exploiting them for so called world peace. Explosive activity buzzed throughout the cave centering around a certain loli pop wearing red clouded seemed to always be cooking up troubling and coming up with the punch line, "Tobi a good boy! Tobi do nothing wrong!" But not today..
It all started in formation labs down the corridors built by Bob the builder. (No joke. He's there people. In your minds! Xd:) Tobi skipped out the room down the dirt hall way holding a potion in his gloved hands. He just created the serum a couple hours ago by mixing certain items along with acid, cheese, roaches, butt fluids, and other nasty items. When he reached the main room he didn't find any of the members buzzing around the table like flies.
But he did find a note:
Dear Tobi no baka,
Meeting in the back of the base.
P.S Bring some candles
Love, Deidara.
Tobi got happy. "Omgosh, did Deidara-sama leave this for me?"
He started squealing like a girl and exited out the room heading for the back. Tobi moved down the hall ways losing light from the way he came and paused at the silent room. There was no lights on except the glowing matter in the jar.
Silver irises were glowing. "Tobi, where is the candles?"
"Tobi got candle!"
"That's not a candle you dunce, hmm."
"Why you be so mean to Tobi? I thought you loved Tobi?"
The other Akatsuki members cracked up.
"Tehehe, you love Tobi!" Chuckled Hidan.
"That's gay." Commented a pair of red eyes across from them.
"I do not!" He roared. "Since when did I write up a crummy letter like that?"
"You mean that you don't love Tobi?" Questioned the sad loli pop.
"Enough." boomed Pein's voice. "Now that you are here we can start the mission."
"What mission?" He asked.
"Pein instructed us to go and capture the nine tails in Konoha." Stated Sasori from the other side of the room.
"What for? Every-time we do that a member gets killed by the leaves. Tobi suggests that what we should do is sneak in there unattended."
Pein raised an eye brow at him in amusement. "Oh really?"
"Yes really. Tobi got just the thing for us!" He shouted evidently and moved forward tripping on his own two feet. "Oops, Tobi did something awful.."
Everyone grew silent at the suggestion.
"Where is it? All I feel is ai... What the fuck man?" Shouted/asked Deidara.
Suddenly, everyone shrunk in size. Including Tobi. When the process deteriorated everyone had a more clear view of the surroundings around them. Instead of seeing the world as your oyster, it blew up in your face. A giant table and chairs were next to them near a seating group of some odd creatures.
Deidara struggled with standing up. "What's going on?"
Itachi was on the ground lifting a paw up scanning him self. "It seems that were not human any more."
Pein was about to say something 'asking about what ruined us' when the door busted open revealing a mutant plant. He jumped from off the swirling chair and ran down the floor board settling beneath the aloe vera's feet.
"Zetsu. Pleasure finding you here."
The dark part of the plant man got hasty. "Why is this cat talking to me?"
White Zetsu took over. "Oh my gosh, talking kitties!"
"Must. Eat. Cats!" Roared the plant.
The tabby dodged an upcoming blow from it's foot slamming into his back. "Cut it out! I need you to act civilized."
"I am civilized!" Counted the dark side.
"No were not!" Intruded the light side. "Hurry up and give us some instructions before we eat you!"
"We cannot stay here for these conditions are critical to our now kittyfied needs. Take us somewhere near human interaction."
Said aloe vera obeyed and scooped up the orange kitten with his green plant turned tentacles. He wandered around the meeting room picking up the rest of them one by one and exited out the base not bothering to put the boulder back in it's rightful place. Zetsu ignored Pein's ruthless meowing about exposing whereabouts to the world and entered into the clearing of the forest leaving it behind.
He ventured out the wooded area into Amegakure. Many villagers stopped what they were doing and freaked out from the invader's sudden inhabiting of their home. The mixed breed species stopped and turned around scaring them with his splitting head and smirked at their cowardliness.
Hidan poked his furry head up from the cloak. "Take that you one eyed pansy!"
Tobi popped up too. "Are they really pansys? I don't think so.."
"Shut the hell up and quit messing up my threats you bitch!"
Zetsu pulled back Hidan into his cloak. "Zip it purple zombie. There's reinforcements coming this way."
"No matter. If I will still a human, we could have boomed them away with my birds." Deidara exaggerated while staring at Tobi.
He didn't pick up the joke. "What did you say to Tobi? Tobi miss logic.."
People started showing up from all directions. They formed into a mob and moved out the way as the ring leader of the group came by wielding a katana. He stared at Zetsu for a while before running off back into the group. They pushed him back out into the open.
The man started shivering and bent over covering his head. "P-please don't kill me Mr. Plant man!"
"Who is this plant man you speak of?" Questioned Zetsu.
"He is talking about us." Mentioned the dark side of Zetsu.
"How rude! Let's eat him!" Exclaimed the light side.
The cats started screaming when Zetsu leaned in on the man picking him up and ate the human. He bent back over in his normal position and made slurping noises freaking out the shinobi including the kitten turned Akatsuki.
"Eww, that's just.." Deidara couldn't finish when a bone almost hit him. "Damn nasty, hmm!"
Tobi mewed when a bone was between his paws. "Yippie, I got a prize!" He smiled.
"Going down."
Before they could gain up on him, Zetsu dug into the ground. He left a giant burrow behind and moved under the earth leaving out the village going miles and miles away from the rain country towards a warmer area with a lively climate.
It popped up like daises. "Here we are. Anything else?"
All the kittens got off him and landed on the dirt. The black cat landed on it's feet including the red, blue, orange, and white except the yellow who got face first into a pile of mud. They snicked at the light yellow tabby and turned to thank their underground ride.
"Thank you very much for the horrible ride." Mewed a bored Itachi.
Deidara kept smacking his ears with his feet. "Shit, I got dirt in my ears!"
"Your welcome." Spoke the tree.
Zetsu crept into the earth leaving behind it's darker voice.
"And good bye to you, you jerks!"
It sunk into the earth burrowing away in the opposite direction. Hopefully the aloe vera won't forget them in their critical state. Tobi ran after the dirt and came back mewing like a kitten asking where they are and how long will they remain stranded like this.
"Not for long." Pein mewed. "For we are few meters away from the village."
"Which village?" Itachi asked. He pointed his nose out and sniffed the air. "All I smell is trees, trees.." The cat paused with a frown. "Who just farted?"
Tobi shook his head rapidly. "Not me! Tobi didn't do nothing."
Sasori left the crowd. "If you would please move to the side I will figure out where we are."
The group watched him venture past themselves and followed suit behind him. As the kittens crept on into the forest, what they thought as a mindless walk through the grass was a constant thriller ride. Each step they took it got more hostile in this offbeat wild wonder land. The grass was past their furry heads and running is futile when many forest creatures cross your path.
Deidara slowed down trying to jump over a log. "This place is like a jungle!"
Hidan leaped over the light colored cat. "Ha,aha in your-" He didn't finished when a stump crossed his path. The white cat flew backwards landing into a puddle that felt like a tsunami against the other cats. They all drifted away and struggled to keep each others balance against the rift tides.
Tobi was sledding down the road on a leaf. "Wee, this ride fun for Tobi!"
Pein removed hims self from the water. "Out of all the members that were to be saved you are the one."
Said yellow tabby crept from around the log. "How much longer till we reach Konoha?"
"I don't know. It was much easier when we were humans." Replied Pein.
"Tobi hungry!"
"Me fucking too! Any one got ideas for a leaf salad?"
"We are not dinosaurs Hidan." Scowled Kakuzu. "There is a pond over there. We can hunt for fish."
Kisame started freaking out. "Fish? Did you just say fish?"
"Yay, fishys for Tobi-chan! Let's gooo!"
Hidan watched the speckled tabby race off down the forest. "Wait for me you twit!"
-Near the pond-
Said group positioned it's self near the water. Deidara struggled to keep a grip on the fish and fell in causing Tobi and Hidan to laugh at him. Sasori raised an eye brow at his faling attempt to capture a fish and put a paw into the water. He took the offer and got pulled up from the sea appearing on the earth.
"My fur is ruined now, un."
"Tobi know. Isn't it great?"
"No." He said bluntly and pushed the cat into the pond.
"Gaahh, Tobi drowning by Deidara-sama!" he cried fishing himself out from the water. "Yay, Tobi free from whirl pooh!"
"What the fudge is a whirl pooh?"
"A whirl pooh is Winnie the pooh stuck in the river. How would you not now?"
"Cause Deidara-sama is a dunce."
"My name is not sama, un!"
Sasori ignored his former partners banter and stared at the river. A few seconds passed and his eye sight intensified luring a giant trout from the bottom of the water. It leaped into the air and dove back in contributing to the rusty colored tabby's hunt.
"Deidara baka go get the shrimp out."
"Yes Sasori danna, un."
The white and yellow cat trotted over near the water and stopped. He turned sending a quick glance over to the other cats who didn't utter one meow or growl. Deidara turned back staring into the blue water. He stuck a paw into the liquid and felt someone come up from behind a push him into the pond.
A white cat was at the banks. "Hahah, take that you damn wussy!"
Bubbles popped in the air revealing a wet head coming up to the surface. Deidara struggled to keep afloat and drifted down the pond. All the Akatsuki members took off running following the currents leading down a cliff.
Tobi moved ahead of them. "Quick Deidara-sama, grab my paw!"
"How am I suppose to do that?" He mewed frantically.
He lost sight of the tom. "Deidara samaaaa!"
-Down the cliff-
Blue eyes awoke to the sound of rushing water. It moved from right to left keeping tabs on the high trees and cliffs below it's feet. The white and yellow kitten got on it's front paws and shook its body ridden it's self of wetness. Deidara cautiously moved forward keeping his irises to the ground making sure that there was no lack of land to cross. He moved down the rocky terrain getting cut off by a large boulder.
'Shit, looks like a ogre tore through here.' He thought in boredom.
Suddenly, the sound of wadding water bore into his senses. The white and yellow cat's ears twitched for a few seconds and he froze at a blob dancing from below the cliff he was standing on. A tinge of pink shot across his face; There was a female bathing in the river.
Deidara decided to be naughty and ventured deeper down the cliff. He trampled over a stone and lost his footing falling from the rocks down into the river. Said kitty hit the water like a fallen anvil alerting the female. She turned around covering her private parts and signed deeply when nothing was there.
The woman continued grooming her self when she felt something touch her thigh. She freaked out moving her foot in the water and kept her eyes on the water watching it bubble. A few seconds later a neko with blue eyes surfaced.
"Oh no!" She gasped.
Her hands stretched out the water like a snake and she held him up to her face. She felt a thumping sensation from his heart which meant good news to her. Said woman wandered out the river onto the earth placing the neko on a dark blanket. She left him alone and proceeding to finishing her interrupted bath. Moments later, the yellow and white neko awoke from his terrible fall.
Deidara's POV
Mmm, am I alive? I awoke to the sound of water and cough sending it out my lungs. My heart stopped when a ballad of rap songs floated around the air. Gucci mane? I shook my head in disbelief including my fur and wandered off the security blanket towards the lake. I wanted a drink and froze in mid step.
Oh my fucking good, boobies! There so big that I want to swat at them with my paws, hmm. If I was still human there would be a boner drilling through my boxers. I narrowed my eyes when rustling sound from the bushes ushered from behind me.
My medium sized body twisted around. "Who goes there?" I growled proudly.
"Tobi goes there, including the others!" Replied a puny voice.
I shuttered in disgust at the answer. Out of all the time to come by and annoy me, spying on a naked lady was not none of them. Please kill me now. I don't mind if a tarantula or man eating plant from Crash Bandicoot completes the job. Knowing that I'm gone off the earth will make me happy.
More cats came out from the bushes surrounding me as a I stood my ground against them.
Sasori wandered by sending daggers. "I told you to capture the fish. Not swim with it."
"My bad. Let me make it up to you guys by getting us some milk."
Kisame coked his head to the side. 'Milk?' he repeated in curiousness.
"Yeah. Feast your eyes on this beauty, un."
I waited patiently for them to congratulate me like when I bring a jinchuriki back to the base. They would gather around me and throw a magical feast filled with food. A home cooked meal was what a longed for in return. It felt good getting praised like that. They unsheathed a quick glance across the river and stared at me with a blank sign.
"What's up?" I asked not sure with what was going on.
"That's the bitch that killed me." Mewed a surprised Sasori.
"What are you talk.." I grew silent from the sudden information. "She is a Konoha nin right?"
"Exactly. We will wait it out till her departure out the forest"' Informed the tabby to the group. "After her bathing ritual has closed, we will come out one by one acting like affectionate cats until she takes up back to the village. Then when the time is right we will morph back into humans and capture the Kyuubi no kitsune."
'Umm.. isn't the potion Tobi threw at us non reversible?' Quested a Russian blue cat.
"I don't know. Just believe that your humans."
"What the hell are we Peter Pan's lost cats? I am not believing that the truth will set me free." Scowled a cursing kitten.
"That's great. Wake me up till she gets up okay?" I mewed lazily sinking to the ground getting ready to take a nap. What made me get up with blood rushing to my brain came out directly from the horses mouth.
"You will baby sit her."
Kitty's notes.. Orange and Tundra's notes..
How do you like the story? We did a few changes staring out with a certain authors note modifying it to kitty's notes. Now about this chapter, I liked it and so did Orange. Here comes the info about the plot. I have come across and will use the 'Tobi falling over throwing some strange potion on the group turning them into kitties plot bunny.'
Don't turn away from this yet. Even though some of them (Were not saying everybody, nyaa.) use this method, there is something I and your self probably don't understand and are wondering about. After getting turned into cats, how do they get to Konoha? They never explain it and just send them there.
Did a plane fly across the sky and dump them in poor Sakura-chan's house? Quite saddened by the lack of back story to their arrival. Well there is one for this story. I chose Zetsu as their kitty carrier because some authors leave him out of their fics. He will come back soon.
Now the girl they came across in the hot springs, I bet you already know who that is. I will be sticking some DeiXSaku stuff and more character interactions in the story bit by bit. You just got a taste of it at the end of the chapter. There will be more soon. Reviews are wonderful and will be added to our lovable kittyness..
Meow, meow, meow! Thanks for reading!
Two Kitty Operation~