GOOD CLEAN FUN
Coach Taylor pulled the SUV up to the curb outside of Tami's office and put his flashers on. Let them try to ticket it. The Dean of Admissions could help him out.
He got out and headed to the building. A passing college girl said, "Nice ass." He stopped and turned and looked to his left and then his right. Behind him and in front of him. Was she talking to him? He was the only one within ear shot.
She smiled at him. He sort of smiled back, sort of laughed nervously. He was starting to like Philadelphia. Sure, no one paid him much mind as a football coach once he stepped foot out of Pemberton High. It wasn't like the whole city knew or cared about what he did. But he hadn't been hit on this often since high school. But he was getting hit on here. In the grocery store. At Braemore. In the teacher's lounge at Pemberton. He was used to getting that "molder of men" ego boost, but this was new. Lately he'd had a lot of energy to take home to Tami. "And how're you today?" he asked the young lady.
She giggled. "Where are you from?" she asked. "Let me guess. Georgia?"
He opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by the sound of a southernly accented woman's voice hollering - - "Hey, you can't park there, sir! You're going to have to move that vehicle!"
Eric turned to see Tami strutting up the sidewalk with a teasing smile. He nodded at the college girl and walked over to his wife and kissed her. "Your chariot awaits, madam," he said, motioning to the SUV.
"That thing is filthy," she said when they hopped in.
He turned on the engine.
"I mean filthy, Eric. How did you get this much mud on it? Where is there to go off-roading in Phili?"
He put the SUV in gear and started to pull out. "I went on that hunting trip, remember? I'd think you'd remember. You were complaining about it so much, how I was leaving you with Gracie for two whole days, going off to have my fun. Yap. Yap. Yap. Whine. Whine. Whine."
"Eric, you got back four days ago. Seriously? You haven't washed this thing yet?"
He was driving now. "Thank you, Eric," he said sarcastically. "Thank you for wrapping up practice a little early and going out of your way today to pick me up from work while my car was in the shop. That was very considerate of you, sweetheart."
"I said thank you. I said thank you on the phone when you said you'd do it. But seriously, hon, this thing is just coated."
He pulled back roughly on the lever that squirted windshield wiper fluid and then let the wipers run for a second.
"You need to slow down, babe," Tami told him. "The speed limit on campus is 25 miles per hour."
He sped up.
When they were off campus and on the main streets, she was still talking about it. "I mean, sweetheart, you can barely see out that windshield. It's practically dangerous."
Abruptly he turned the SUV sharp right. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Where are you going?"
"To this gas station," he said. "So I can go through this automatic car wash and maybe you'll stop your nagging."
"You can't pay here at the machine. You've got to get a code inside."
"I can too pay here," he insisted. "I've got cash. They've got one of those bill feeder things."
"No, that's only for upgrading after you've paid for a basic wash. You've got to get the initial code inside."
"No I don't have to. Watch." He rolled down the window and started trying to put bills in the feeder. It asked for his car wash code. "Damn it!" he muttered. He left the door open and ran into the gas station to pay for the car wash and get his code. When he got back in the SUV, the car in front of him was gone from out of the car wash and Tami was smirking.
"This guy behind us is getting impatient, hon," Tami said when he shut the door. "You better put that code in fast."
He leaned out the window. "I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" He tapped the buttons. When the light turned green, he rolled up his window and pulled in. "God, woman, you drive me crazy sometimes."
She laughed, low and long. "Well, I used to drive you crazy in the car wash. Remember? When we were seniors in high school? Remember how we used to - - you know, sugar."
The light turned red. He put the car in park and turned off the engine. Suddenly, he wasn't annoyed anymore. "Oh, yeah, I think I do recall." His tongue came out slightly between his smiling lips.
"Want to?" she asked, raising her eyebrows suggestively.
"Seriously? You were just scolding me a minute ago. You're like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, baby. You turn on a dime."
"Look at you, hon, getting all literary with your allusions. But do you want to?"
The car wash roared to life. "Hell yeah I want to. You think they can see us back there?"
She unbuckled. "Not once those brushes and soap get going. Besides, your windows are tinted."
He slid back his seat and unbuckled. His seatbelt, that is. "How long does this car wash last?"
"Five minutes," she said, and came over to his seat and straddled him, bent her head down so it wouldn't hit the roof, and kissed him long and hard and deep. He forced her lips apart with his tongue, slid his hands beneath her blouse, and ran them up her back. They kept kissing while he slid one hand to the front of her blouse, cupped a breast, and squeezed softly. She moaned and shifted against his lap. Then he moaned.
They kissed awhile longer. When she started in on his neck with those short, soft, little bites his eyes fluttered shut. When they opened again he saw that the light was yellow. "Damn it!" he muttered. "Yellow light."
She practically leapt off him and sat back into her seat. She jerked her seatbelt over her lap. The light turned green. He grabbed the handle at the side of his seat and slid it up. He buckled in. The car behind him honked. "Hold your horses," he said and started the engine.
As he drove out he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He grunted. Tami glanced down at his lap. She giggled. "That looks like it hurts."
"Damn it, woman. I'm not seventeen anymore. I can't endure this teasing. You started this. You're going to finish it when we get home."
"Well we got to get Gracie, babe. We've got to pick her up from daycare, and then there's dinner, and bedtime routine, and…"
"Damn it, woman."
"You said you wanted to. I gave you a chance to say no."
He switched lanes and increased his speed. Later he switched lanes again and then turned left. He pulled into the parking lot of a Catholic church. "What are you doing?" she asked.
He drove into the immense, empty lot and parked in a spot at the far corner. "We have forty minutes before we have to be at the daycare. It'll only take us fifteen more minutes to drive there. Now I think you need to finish what you started."
She laughed and shook her head. "No way, Eric."
He glanced into the back seat. "Remember what else we used to do in my truck? Remember? We'd park in some empty parking lot…"
"Yeah, at 10 o'clock at night! When it was dark! Not at 4:20 in the afternoon. And that was because we didn't have our own house, and our own bedroom. You also didn't have a booster seat in the back of your truck back then. And actually we only did that once. And it was as uncomfortable as hell. Remember?"
"I can toss that booster seat out of the way. Come on, baby. I'm in pain here. I'm in real pain."
"That didn't work when we were 17, and it's not going to work now."
He stretched his arm over the back of her seat and looked at her with exaggerated tenderness. "Tami, baby, I love you. You're the most beautiful girl I think I've ever seen. I don't think I've ever met anyone who's so much fun to be with, makes me laugh so much. Damn, I love you, baby."
"Okay," she said, laughing. "That did work when we were 17. But seriously, Eric. This is a church parking lot. What if someone - "
"- You said it yourself. The windows are tinted. We got that Baby Steps sun blocker on both windows back there anyway. Come on. Come on, babe. There's no one here."
She glanced at the backseat. She glanced at him. He looked so pitfully hopeful she laughed. "Sorry," she said. "You'll just have to survive. There is no way in hell I am doing it in the backseat in the bright afternoon in a Catholic church parking lot."
He sighed and rolled his eyes and reached for the keys that were dangling in the ignition. Before he could turn it she let out a startled little scream, which caused him to jump. Someone had rapped on the window next to her. Tami turned and saw a priest standing at her door.
Eric's eyes grew wide. He turned the key in the ignition just enough to get the power on and rolled down the window.
"Can I help you?" the priest asked.
"We were just having a conversation," Eric said. "We were just about to get on our way."
"No hurry. Take your time," the priest said. "Take as long as you like. It's just that sometimes teenagers loiter here in the afternoon, like it was Makeout Point or something. And I like to hustle them along. That's not what church parking lots are for."
"No," Eric agreed. "Definitely not. That's a crying shame. These kids today!" He waved to the priest, rolled up the window, and started the engine.
/ AND THAT THERE'S THE END /