Firstly, the Avengers are not mine. They belong to Marvel.

Next, this tip is not mine. It came from the tumblr 'SHIELD Recruit Survival Tips'.

Tip 1

Always make more coffee if you empty the pot. You do not want to know what will happen to you if you fail to do so.

The situation required very careful thinking, not to mention the wording. I pondered for about a minute before grasping the high quality plastic handle and turned to face my peers.

"I'm about to put on a new pot of coffee. Who wants the rest of this one?"

Agent Coulson entered the mess from a nearby door, and anyone who was about to call dibs were suddenly uninterested.

"One cream, no sugar," I said as I poured out the dregs.

Agent Coulson took a sip and seemed satisfied, "Good work Agent Scott,"

"Anything I can do to help," I replied with a smile. He smiled too, and left, while I gave the pot a rinse and set the coffee maker up for maximum gurgle.

"Hey Gladys," said Agent Whitehouse as I walked by, "Was that all you're having for breakfast?"

"Already ate," I replied, and perched on the edge of the table"I could get dressed and come here to eat without a shower, or I could eat, scrub, and then get dressed." I wrinkled my nose, "I'd rather start the day off warm and clean."

"You're that hungry," said Agent Minassian.

I put on my best 'shame face', "I regret to admit it, but it's true."

"And yet two pieces of toast, a glass of juice, and a cup of hot chocolate'll hold you out 'till dinner," said Agent Whitehouse.

"Two stimulants?" I offered.

"Again, jeal-ous," said Agent Whitehouse.

"Excuse me while I turn sideways and fall through any wooden floor," I said dryly.

The room suddenly seemed quite a bit emptier than earlier, and my phone buzzed.

"Aw crap," whined Agent Minassian, "We're gonna be laaate."

"Last one to the laundry room's on oil duty!" yelled another laundry technician.

"That's my cue," I smiled and grabbed my bag, "I bid thee adieu."

"See you later."

"Bye Gladys."

Sometimes I like to run behind my laundry cart until it gets going at quite a clip. That's when I hop on the back and sail through the hallways. Quite a fun way to clean up my afternoon. I figure as long as I don't hit anyone, it's okay, which is why I prefer dealing with the less-traveled wings of the Helicarrier. As such, when Agent Coulson appeared at the next junction, I was more than a little surprised. I threw all my weight onto the brake plate and wound up with a handle bar in the stomach for my troubles.

"In the interest of keeping less diplomatic parties off your case, why didn't you take the last cup?" he asked.

I hopped down and checked the wheels. Burnt rubber is such a nasty smell. "I don't drink the stuff, but even if I did, someone here probably needs it more than me," I replied and stood, "I have eight or nine genetically modified cups a day."

"Really." He was interested. Or playing along. Not entirely sure which. "I'd like to talk to you about your caffeine source."

"It hits a certain part of my brain, keeps me awake and focused...?" This was... Something was wrong. "With all due respect Agent Coulson, when was the last time you slept?" I hastily continued, "Sir, I just led you to believe that my ADHD medication is a substitute for coffee. If I can get that by you, I can't imagine what the Avengers will try and pull."

He mulled this over, "Three days might be a bit much,"

"A little, yea." I gestured to my cart, "If you wanna hop in, I'll give you a ride to your quarters if you don't mind two-sleep old sheets."

I'll let the reader decide how that ends ;)

And thus, here be the first of... a dozen (?) shorts I've written based off the tumbr blogs SHIELD Recruit Survival Tips and Memos From Fury. Some others pertain to mental health. Is 'short' the right term for interconnected stories that aren't very long?

Anywho, this wasn't originally going to be the beginning of this series, but the other candidate wasn't based off a tip. It has more character development than this one, but a couple of my friends it would work. Would the reader care to comment? Is there enough detail about Gladys Scott to form a rapport? Now that I think about it, maybe that Tip 457 (Do not, under any circumstances, harass the office workers in any way, shape, or form. Organizational skills weren't the only reason they were hired) would have been best. Eh, whatever. I did track it down in, what, 30 seconds, however I want to post this thing!

I'm kinda wondering about taking a different angle with this, and calling it 'Fury's Snakes'. The thing is, I wouldn't be experimenting with a technique that has me in awe. It would start right in the action, without this 'moseying along' stuff. 'Cept I need the moseying along stuff for zee technique. And I'm worried about not starting with the action because you lovely people'll get bored. *sigh*. I'll figure out something (although I'd love advise).

Thank you very much for your time, I really appreciate it :)

- ALC