Jealousy
Hi everyone!
I'm so sorry I disapeared from internet for a while...
Life in Paris hadn't been so well lately... I wasn't in the mood to write but here I am now.
If you are wondering, DEBS chapter 4 is written at 50%
But for now I hope you will enjoy this!
Merry Christmas !
Kisses, lots of love, gifts and happiness !
#PrayForParis
Chapter n°1 :
Clarke was sat at the bar, nursing a drink of strong alcohol and waiting for her crew to join her…
She'd had a very bad day today. The university where she was teaching Art and the science of the imagination threatened to fire her because, beyond angry, she strode to the Dean's office and threw a fit about the controversy one of her student's piece of art caused. Rightly, the sculpture could be shocking but the interpretation is different depending of the person who looked at it. In fact, the student totally integrated the concept of sending a message through a strong image and its work always was impressive and promising… As a teacher, she couldn't be more proud and took it at heart to defend him and its art from the closed-minded, but at what price? Now she was in the hot seat and if she took a wrong step, she will be jobless and her name will be drag in the dirt…
Deep blue eyes glanced at the clock hanging on the nearby wall – They were late – and she sighed again, letting out an exasperating breath.
Slender fingers twirled her drink, making the liquid move forward and backward in slow motion and Clarke leaned back on her seat, reminiscing about the good times when Lexa was still here with her, when her love would wrapped her strong arms around her and hold her 'til all her fears and stress got away. She missed those days, she missed the faint smell of musk and earth, she missed the feel of naked skin rubbing against her own and the taste of these god-like lips her wife had… She and Lexa hadn't had much time together since her houmon's missions were longer and longer and her permission shorter and less frequent. You see, Lexa was a fly attendant and one of the best. She was the youngest commandant of the squadron and Clarke couldn't be more proud, after all, they had accepted it to be part of their life since they fell head over heels for each other six years ago.
But still, at time like this, she wished she was there and she wished she didn't feel that lonely…
Nevertheless, Lexa just came back home from a five months long mission and had a week of free time. However, she had to attend a party tonight and won't be able to see Clarke before late tonight…
"Heya Princess!" She was brought off of her thoughts by Raven's booming voice.
"Raven" she said then looked at her other friends "Guys, you're late! I've been waiting for ages!" she pouted
"Well, yeah, I see that we didn't miss you that much" Jasper pointed at the empty drink in front of her but was quickly put in his place when his girlfriend, Maya, slapped him behind the head.
"But I was lonely and my day was just so shitty" The blonde complained like a reprimanded child.
"Sorry Clarke, but some people here" Monty glared at Bellamy and his boyfriend Miller "Took their time to prepare and be ready to go out"
"Yeah, the princesses are not always the one we think of" Raven teased
"Seriously?" Bellamy gestured to his body "How much do you think it take for that body to be irresistible?"
"Not enough time obviously" Clarke muttered
"Easy for you, blondie, you're a lesbian with a super-hot girlfriend, you can't be sensible to my perfection" Bellamy shrugged and then shoved her on the shoulder to make her laugh.
So, while waiting for their drinks, they sat chatting about work, Clarke's issues, love, life, sex, sex, sex, and sex. Raven was telling a story about Anya and a bear and Clarke couldn't be thankful enough, because after the sex stories of her friends, she felt deprived.
Their drinks came and the conversation became more heated and cruder. And, inevitably, the topic came back about her and her intimate life.
"So, Clarke" began Jasper with an evil smirk, joining his hands in front of him "What is it like when Lexa is home?"
"I'm not telling"
"That bad huh?" Jasper pushed "I bet you go at it like rabbits!"
"Are you kidding?" Miller grumbled "Remember their college time? They couldn't survive ten hours without escaping for a bathroom or something!"
"Yeah, I remember" Raven drooled
"Gross" Maya and Monty said in chorus
"Guys" Clarke chastised blushing furiously.
"Come on Princess, you were veritable animals when it came to sex, don't deny it" Bellamy smirked "Plus, if I remember correctly, Lexa couldn't disobey you or else, she ended on the couch and wore that kicked puppy look all morning" He laughed remembering the scene perfectly
Clarke slapped his arms playfully and smiled sadly at the memory
"Are you okay Clarke?" Raven finally asked
"What?" the blonde replied confused
"We are worried about you, you know" Maya began "Lexa came back today but had instantly been dragged away and it's been five months… You looked so down lately" ranted Monty "We were afraid, you would felt lonely" Raven finished softly putting her hand on her shoulder rubbing circles.
Clarke was confused, was she that transparent? Was she that pre-occupied that even her friends noticed it and worried about her?
"I…" she stuttered, not knowing what to say
"Look, I know that being married with a military can be…difficult but we are here you know" Raven comforted her
"We will always be there for you" Monty added
"When you feel sad" Maya winked "When you feel lonely" Miller continued "When you're hungry" Jasper chimed in "When you need sex" Bellamy smirked and quickly got off the table when Raven grabbed the nearly bottle and threw it at him.
Clarke felt touched. She didn't know what to say for a good few minutes. She even regretted doubting her friends… They were worried about her, they cared for her deeply.
"Thank you guys. That's-"She was cut off before she could finish by Jasper
"Olala no need to be that emotional Princess! Let's drink!" he cheered calling for a refill.
"You're really a baby, Clarke Griffin Woods" Bellamy faked disappointment.
After Bellamy drove her home, Clarke hurriedly searched her keys, jumping from foot to foot because of the cold and put them in the keyhole.
When she finally opened the door, she was disappointed to see Lexa was not home yet. She made her way to the couch and looked at the time on her TV, it was already 2:00am and there was no sign of her soldier.
She sighed sadly and fell ungracefully on her sofa, taking her heels out and throwing them through the room toward the closet.
After some minutes of rest, she went to the kitchen and down a glass of water in one gulp and decided to take a shower.
2:30am and still no sign of Lexa.
She was already clad in her pajama and she began to feel pretty cold. Clarke huffed and went to bed but didn't forget to pull one of Lexa's shirt out to wrap herself in it before going under the covers.
However, sleep never came.
She wanted to be pampered days and nights by her wife, she wanted Lexa to be all over her when back home and not out with she didn't know who drinking, partying or whatever they did… But Lexa had a right to have friends and to have some time with them too even if it meant less time together.
Clarke tried to close her eyes and find solace in her fantasies of her and Lexa 'playing' doctor or just rutting like horny dogs, something she desperately needed since she became her friends' confident in all sort of frustration and sex's issues these past five months.
She imagined Lexa coming back home late and begging for her forgiveness for not coming straight to her, for teasing her insanely with this unfinishable wait, for not making love to her every fucking seconds she had. She imagined Lexa tip-toeing her way to the bedroom just to surprise her, she imagined her love climbing into the bed and wrapping her in her strong and warm arms.
She imagined her husky and sensual voice whisper sweet nothing in her ears. She imagined her toned and sexy curves slid against her own in a wild and heated passion. She imagined the moans and growls of untamed lust rang through the room.
And she was wet. Wet and aching for release, incredibly hot and craving her wife's touch, her wife's body and love.
But she wasn't there and that's what dominated everything else.
So between sobs and fatigue, Clarke succumbed to her needs and finally let sleep overtook her.
The first rays of the sun caressed her skin like a soft feather would and a delicious warm was enveloping every inch of her body.
It was as if she was cocooned in a bubble of heat and safety.
It was pleasant…
A feeling she didn't have in a long time.
Clarke didn't open her eyes, fearing the end of this blissful moment, she opted instead in turning herself on her right and melt in the covers more.
However, she fell on something else… Something soft and unruly. Something that felt strangely familiar and which she craved for months, a mix between musk and earth, her beloved houmon, Lexa.
She would have recognized this smell everywhere, it was unique and her favorite.
"Mmmmmmmm" She moaned in delight.
She had waited so long, so fucking long for this moment.
She threw her legs swiftly across this delicious body and in a surge of clear lust straddled her partner.
Legs on each side of the body beneath her, Clarke thought possessively that it was the most adequate position to trap her lover.
Her hair were as unruly as she remembered them, her skin was soft and tan and that smell was still the same: strong and enticing, like a siren with her voice.
She continued to stare unashamed at her woman for several minutes, making sure that everything was the same, that nothing has changed or worse that no new scars were there.
However, the more she stared, the more it became difficult to restrain herself from touching, caressing or just…marking.
So…
She just gave up to the temptation.
She began dropping kisses on her eyelids, her nose, her jaw, her cheeks everywhere she could except her lips until she felt the first signs of her wife's awaking.
"Clarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrke" the woman purred with a goofy smile on her lips
"Hello baby" Said woman sang while enveloping her lips in a warm and sensual dance.
Strong and firm arms encircled her waist in a possessive embrace of their own and pressed her closer to the waking body.
"Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm I miss you ai prisa" she hummed in delight
Chuckling at the cuteness, Clarke played along, anger and disappointment already forgotten "Did you ?"
And when Lexa finally opened her tired and groggy eyes, it was like she was directly staring at the sun. Her vision was immediately assaulted by soft and beautiful blonde hair but what took her breathe away were the magnificent deep blue eyes gazing at her with so much love and admiration she was struggling to find some fresh air again.
Her wife was so beautiful she couldn't realize, even after all those years, that she was hers, that she married that bewitching creature and make her accept her life as an air force military.
It was pure heaven.
And the only answer she could gave Clarke was an eager nod followed by her breathless declaration "So, so much my love"
Hearing her precious Lexa said that, Clarke went crazy and couldn't hold back.
She finally cupped her breast and squeezed softly. Lexa's nipples immediately hardened at the touch. Clarke then grabbed the bottom of Lexa's shirt and lifted it up in one hungry move and continued to knead those perfect buds. Lexa closed her eyes and moaned at the delicious sensations running throughout her body, it had been so long since she felt that way, it had been so long since her wife could touch her like this.
Clarke lowered her head and close her warm mouth over one of the hardened buds and Lexa gasped as she stroked it lightly with her tongue. Clarke continued to lick and suck her for several minutes, unable to stop herself anymore, it was so addicting, her wife was like a drug for her and she was a total junky.
But suddenly, in an exceptional show of strength, their place were reversed.
"I want to taste you so fucking much Clarke" Lexa growled in her ear and ripped her shirt off her body as if it was nothing.
She buried her face between Clarke's warm breasts and dropped languid and feral kisses all over her chest but never touch her nipples to prolong her torture. She wanted the moment to last forever, she wanted to engrave this wonderful morning in her head for the future missions far away from her love.
Clarke let her head fall back, eyes closed in ecstasy. She was savoring the torment, loving every minute of it. When she felt Lexa's fingernails running down her back, Clarke mewled in approval. A fire had started burning at the pit of her belly and was slowly spreading all over her body. Lexa was doing a hell of a job stroking the fire into an all-consuming inferno inside of her. She had a so talented tongue.
Finally, Lexa moved closer to the waiting nipples, noticing how hard it was. She flicked the tip of her tongue experimentally over it and heard Clarke moan with pleasure. Feeling bolder, she kept teasing both nipples and running her nails softly up and down Clarke's back.
In desperation, Clarke grabbed Lexa's head and held it against the swollen buds, frantically wanting to ease some of the ache surrounding it. Lexa happily obliged and Clarke's body trembled in response.
"Plea-please Lexa more" Clarke begged
"More what?" Lexa asked in a low voice laced with dark desire.
"I need more of you" She gasped in urgency.
"I can't know what you want if you don't tell me Clarke" Lexa tutted "Tell me more" she growled in her ear.
"I need you IN me" Clarke finally lashed out with eyes burning in lust, frustration and incommensurable want.
Pupils dilated, almost black, Lexa was unable to resist and came back up to Clarke's lips and devour her lips with passion. She pushed her legs apart more and laid between them and ground her hips suggestively.
Clarke pushed back almost automatically, lost in her pleasure and Lexa lost her mind.
She snaked her hand down Clarke's body, scratching her skin in her way until she got to the hidden treasure.
She bit her lips and sucked the tender flesh between her lips and at the same time pushed her fingers swiftly through the wet cavern.
"MMMMmmmmm Lexaaaaaaaaaa" cried Clarke while arching her back delirious.
"You are so wet for me prisa…" Lexa groaned delighted "Were you already thinking about me last night?"
Lexa taunted while trusting two of her fingers into wet and all too willing pussy.
Clarke was wild, she was wild and Lexa was here, she was even the one causing her her wildness but she needed more so she wrapped her arms around her neck and brought her infinitely closer puffing hot ragged breathe on her lips "I was thinking about you every nights" she whispered "but my fingers were never enough…they can't even compare to what you are doing to me" she breathed knowing exactly what she was doing to her partner.
Lexa almost sobbed from happiness and ecstasy "Prisa…" she screamed while adding another finger to her infernal pace and adjusting her hips with her wrist to add more strength and intensity in their love making.
"I love you my prisa, I love you so fucking much" Lexa hissed when the walls surrounding her fingers began to close and convulse.
"Almost there baby, almost there, oh please don't stop, don't fucking stop!" Clarke begged once more at the edge of her impending orgasm.
Pace never wavering, teeth marking her neck, warm air grunted on her skin and a sexy mantra claimed in her ear of "Mine, mine, mine" from her wife sent Clarke over that barrier, that same barrier that teased her for months and she screamed.
She screamed bloody pleasure and relief for the world to hear.
She screamed her wife's name like a final release and slumped finally satisfied on their shared bed.
Lexa couldn't stop.
She couldn't stop touching or kissing her incredible wife even if she wanted to, her hands had a mind of their own and they roamed each inch of skin they could while her lips pressed loving kisses on her neck.
She was where she always wanted to be, where she dreamed to be for the last months.
She was on her Clarke, enveloping her with her body and doing whatever she wanted to her and was received with pleasure and gusto.
"You are so beautiful Clarke" she said "You always are"
And the blonde chuckled and hummed in happiness at her wife's ministrations.
"I love you too baby" she sighed and then laughed when remembering something "You know" she began "It always amazed me that you're never hungover after drinking all the night"
Lexa instantly stopped her kisses to look at her wife but let her hand continued their exploration "You know that I never wanted to go yesterday do you?"
When she was met with silence, she pushed their foreheads together and continued "I wanted to come home to you immediately after landing here but Octavia never let me. We promised Anya we would not abandon her at Indra's bachelorette party" she explained
"Indra's bachelorette party?" Clarke arched one of her eyebrow "There is someone on this planet capable of keeping up with her? Seriously?" She tried to dedramatize her earlier mood
However, Lexa didn't buy it but smiled nevertheless because she knew Clarke so well and was sure she would do that.
"Yes, His name is Gustus. Tall, big beard, dark hair, all muscles and not much talkative" she described laughing "I couldn't even text or call you because O took my phone. She would give it back if I drank with her." She carried on but now nuzzling the blonde's face "She knew that I would never detach myself from it if I had you on the other side. She knows no one can compete with you."
Clarke tried to stay stoic but the twitch of her lips couldn't be help. Lexa was so romantic, so cute, so loving, so Lexa.
She missed it bad.
"She knows no one exist when you are here." The brunette finished and waited like a good puppy for her master to reward her.
"I can never be mad at you" Clarke finally cracked kissing her between each words "You're my everything Lexa"
A goofy smile appeared on Lexa's lips "If you were not already my wife Clarke, I would ask you to marry again" She said "I thought it was not possible to fall more and more in love with you but you surprise everyday prisa"
"So, I suppose they were not some super sexy strippers that caught your eyes?" she playfully asked
"Well, I remembered some blonde girl but she hadn't those mesmerizing blue eyes and her breast weren't that good" Lexa smirked smugly
"Jerk"
"No' Lexa said wrapping the blonde in her arms " Your jerk" she finished carrying the blonde to the bathroom
"Yes" Clarke cooed "MINE" and wrapped her legs around her lover's waist.
Clarke exited the bathroom quickly still with her towel tightly wrapped around herself.
Lexa was insatiable.
She couldn't even wash her hair without the brunette licking her all over the place.
Don't get it wrong, Clarke was beyond happy and eager to reciprocate, even more since she couldn't have her baby for the last six months, but God, she needed a break and some fresh water in her body before.
So she bounced dreamily to the kitchen and took a drink when-
"BBaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbbbbbbe Where are you?" Lexa sang lustily, her voice promising hours of sinful actions.
Surprised, Clarke spat her water on the floor and tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
So insatiable
"One secoooooonnnnnnnnnd" she answered chuckling
She was about to sneak back to her servicewoman when she heard the unmistakable 'Ting' of Lexa's phone.
And another one.
Curious and wanting to bring it back to her wife, she grabbed it and checked it mechanically and not out of deer over controlling girlfriend's thing or whatever.
"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbe, if you don't come to me, I will come to find you" The brunette warned.
But Clarke was not here anymore.
What she saw on the brunette's screen didn't please her and didn't please her at all.
(5:03 am)Unknown number: Hey, it's the mysterious girl from last night, Costia.
(5:04am)Unknown number: I wanted to thank you for last night
(5:07am)Unknown number: No one ever did what you did for me, it was really sweet of you
(5:10am)Unknown number: … It was one of the best night of my life
(5:12am)Unknown number: May we meet again Commander ;)
(5:14am)Unknown number: Preferably soon :P
"Clarke?" Lexa called again but more worried at the absence of answer than anything
Unfortunately, she was once again met with silence.
A dreading feeling suddenly crept in her stomach, call it military sense or whatever but Lexa decided to go search for her wife.
"Clarke, is everything alright?" she asked when she found her standing straight and unmoving in the middle of the kitchen, a drink still in her hand and her phone in her other.
The blonde didn't move nor speak and continued to stare at her phone, eyes wide.
Furrowing her brows, Lexa reached for her wife's hand and was startled when Clarke finally snapped out of it and retracted her hand looking away and demanding in a broken voice "Who is Costia?"
"Who?" Lexa said looking down at her screen and taking a step back when she read the texts "I swear Clarke, I don't know who this Costia girl is!" she immediately defended "It must be a wrong number"
"A wrong number? Really? Is that all you could come with Commander?" Clarke snarled emphazing the favorite endearment of her wife while in Bed.
"No! What are you saying Clarke? All I could come with for what?" Lexa paled stumbling to reach her furious woman. "Clarke, stop please, let me explain" she cried without thinking and almost slapping a hand on her head at the words escaping her mouth.
"Don't fucking touch me Lexa!"
"Clarke-"
"What?! What is there to explain Lexa? That a woman is texting you at 5 in the morning about the best night of her life? That she miraculously knows what you so fucking love to hear in bed? That she wants so much to see you preferably soon?" Clarke exploded, anger boiling in her veins, old feelings of loneliness, sadness, abandon, disappointment coming back full force. But most of all, jealousy blinding everything.
Hair wild, eyes mad and body trembling with rage, Clarke strode to the bedroom in search of her clothes when she saw Lexa's vest on the chair.
And as a bad new never came alone…
"Come on Clarke, don't do this" Lexa begged not understanding what was happening, the morning began so well, what the fuck was happening? Who was that girl? And why was she texting her? FUCK !
"Oh ho" Clarke stated quietly. Too quietly.
Lexa felt shivers of fear ran through her body. Cold sweat even began to form on her back. It was not good. It was not good at all.
"And can you explain me why you have red lipstick mark on your commander's jacket Lexa? Isn't it a wives' tradition for their leaving lovers?" she demanded coldly.
Lexa was silent.
She was shocked. How did this happen? How did this happen!
She blinked, it had to be a nightmare, it was the only explanation, it couldn't be.
"WHO IS SHE?!" Clarke screeched like a banshee
"No Clarke, no. This is a misunderstanding, please prisa, you know me, I swear-"
"How could you… How could you do this to me?" The blonde choked, eyes tearing up and hurt swelling in every part of her body.
"Don't cry ai prisa, please don't cry, you have to believe me, I don't fucking know this girl, I don't fucking what happen last night! All I can remember is the music, Anya, Octavia, Indra, Gustus, the drinking and coming home to you, I swear prisa" Lexa pleaded engulfing her wife in her strong arms and rocking her back and forth.
Clarke stood still, seething in pure hatred and hurt "I trusted you…" she tried to pull the brunette off of her but couldn't when said woman resist and whispered in her ears repeatedly "Don't do this babe, believe me please, believe me"
"I waited for you all these months, I longed for you day after day, I even cried myself to sleep yesterday waiting for you and you were-" Clarke broke on her words, unable to finish her thoughts "with someone else!"
"BUT THERE IS NO ONE ELSE GODDAM IT!" Lexa finally snapped "Why can you believe me Clarke? Why would I fuck everything we had together for some whore?! You're everything I ever wanted Clarke!"
'SLAP'
Lexa felt her cheek burn at the strike and took steps back, eyes wide in surprise
"Get out!" Clarke sobbed holding her hand close to her heart, face covered in tears.
"Clarke…" Lexa breathed, not supporting the sadness in her wife's face, not being able to support the hurt and emptiness in those usually sparkling blue eyes
"Get out now!"
"No. Not when you are like this. Forever Prisa, for the best and the worse, I swore it to you" Lexa recalled trying once again to reach her.
"Fine. I will then" Clarke spat shoving Lexa out of her way, grabbing her car key and leaving, towel in place, the house in a flash.
"Clarke…Clarke…Clarke….." Lexa sobbed in anguish
How could this happen to them?
How could this happen to her?
Why was fate so cruel?
She just wanted her Clarke...
I'm horrible, I know.
So What do you think?
More of Lexa's POV for the next chapter (the last after all) hahaha
Love always
LoveDrugs