A/N: A speculation fic for the ending of 7.15. Based on what we saw in 7.14 and the promo/sneak peek for 7.15. *Contains Spoilers*
Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or the characters used in this story.
When All the Lights Go Out
"No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white,
Just our hands, clasped so tight,
Waiting for the hint of spark.
I will follow you into the dark."
-I Will Follow You Into the Dark
Cover by Gavin Mikhail
There's a darkness that lives inside of everyone. Each person is born with a tiny spark of it that we carry with us as we grow. In some it lays dormant, non-existent and never surfacing because those particular people are never faced with a situation that forces it to take control. In others, it's ignited in a rage, a bursting flame fueled by what that person has been subjected to. Some fight the darkness, bind it away and never allow it to surface. Others live it.
For Castle, the darkness has remained a constant fight. A battle interlaced with the good man he tries to be and the kid he once was. From the time he was a young boy who witnessed something in Hollander's Woods that even his subconscious refuses to remember he's wrestled with the dark side of himself.
There's a reason he writes about murder. There's a reason it intrigues him in a way that others don't understand There's a reason.
And now, Castle isn't the only one who's been affected. His darkness has spilled over into Kate's life, forcing her to face even more than the already heavy load of her own darkness. This battle with Jerry Tyson and Kelly Nieman has taken its toll on Kate. Instead of coming out on the other side, affected but alive, she was captured, lured into the viscous grip of darkness and madness and unable to escape, forced to endure for far longer than she ever should have.
At least that's how he sees it. And nothing she's said since they found her alive, nothing that she has tried to convince him of has broken the barrier.
The reality is that Kate is okay. They had followed the trail, thanks to Castle's tactic and his encounter with Tyson that he still won't speak of. But finding the location was only the first part of Tyson and Nieman's plan.
Castle had lost himself when they found her, or what they thought was her, strapped to a chair, unconscious and covered in slashes and scars that seemed cruel and meticulous, even for Dr. Neiman. The evil doctor had prided herself on her seamless work. But it turned out to be just another part of the game, another piece of enjoyment for the serial killer duo.
It took Ryan and Espo to pull Castle away from the limp body, but it took both men as well as Lanie to convince Castle that the tortured body wasn't Kate.
Dr. Kelly Nieman was good, talented and precise, but she missed a key detail in her replica of Kate. The wedding ring that usually adorned Kate's left hand had been missing from the look-a-like. And that combined with Lanie's DNA test had confirmed that the woman in the chair wasn't Kate.
They found her—the real Kate, locked in a small, dark closet in the back of the warehouse where they'd also found the look-a-like. There, tied up and gagged in the small back corner of the closet was Kate. She was frantic, fatigued and on edge, but the reason for most of her anxiety was found on either side of her in the closet.
The bodies' of both Tyson and Neiman were there, Neiman looking perfect even in death and Tyson with a slit throat. As they helped Kate to her feet a knife had fallen from her lap covered in Tyson's blood. She didn't have to say anything for them to know it hadn't been her who slit his throat.
It was proved even further later on, once both bodies were taken to the morgue. Suicide had been the cause of death for both Tyson and Nieman.
It was that fact that finally broke Castle. It took the satisfaction out of finally catching the duo. Took the revenge that Castle needed away from him—and that's the very reason that he remained trapped in an unescapable darkness.
Even now, a week later, with Kate pressed safely against his side, he's still a statue, the haunted look in his eyes refusing to fade. Kate's usual soothing touch unable to reach him. What she went through has broken him, locked him away, and even finding her alive isn't the key she needs to unlock the wall he's hidden behind.
She had begged him to talk to her. He wouldn't. Pleaded with him to listen. He didn't.
But Kate Beckett lived trapped in darkness for far too long. She faced it alone until she met Castle. And she refuses to let him live it on his own, refuses to let it swallow him whole.
"Castle?" she whispers into the quietness of their room. It's not dark tonight, hasn't been dark since he brought her home.
Physically she only suffered a small cut on her cheek, which is now an almost healed scar that will fade with time. Mentally she's okay, finding that the ordeal was more creepy than anything. Castle had taken it far worse than her.
He doesn't answer. The only indication that he's even awake is the fact that is his eyes are open, void of all emotion.
"Castle, I know that you don't want to talk right now, and that's okay. I just need you to listen to me."
She watches him, he doesn't nod, but his eyes remain open. He's listening even if he won't tell her he is.
"You're trapped in this darkness right now, trapped in the web that Tyson purposely created. You only see the bad and the pain and that was his goal. You can't let him win. I'm alive. I'm right here beside you and I'm fine, Castle. They didn't win, please don't let them win."
She sighs when he still says nothing, lets her head fall back to the pillow so that the smooth fabric can catch her tears as they slide down her cheek. She spent two months in this bed without him and none of them compare to right now. He's so hollow and broken and she doesn't know how to fix it.
"It isn't fair."
His voice cuts through the silence, rough and deep, and it startles her. She lifts her head so that she can look at him, ignoring the tears that still cascade down her face.
"What isn't?" she questions, voice soft and reassuring.
"I drug you through my darkness. You beat yours, you finally made it to the light and then I pulled you right back down with me. I can't live with myself for that. I just can't."
No. This has to stop.
"Rick, look at me."
Her use of his first name seems to get through; he turns his head and finds her eyes with his own. And for the first time since he brought her home, safe and free from the terrible hands of Tyson, he actually looks at her.
"How can you even think that? You followed me into my darkness, willingly. You fought it with me, fought it for me, and then helped me beat it. You didn't let it swallow me, didn't let it destroy me. You taught me how to fight it. And we came out on the other side, we beat it. You didn't drag me through anything. I followed you into this, because that's what partners do. And we aren't just partners at work anymore, we're partners in life. I followed you into it because I love you and you deserve to beat your darkness just as much as I did mine."
He swallows back the tears the pool in the eyes, distorting the cerulean blue that's usually so clear.
"I wanted revenge."
"Oh Castle, you got revenge. It might not be in the way you imagined, but we're together and alive. Tyson and Nieman are gone for good. That's revenge, Babe."
He offers her a small smile for that, but it still doesn't reach his eyes.
"I put you through so much. Tyson's fight was with me. You didn't deserve it," he whispers, swallowing again as he turns his head away from her.
She won't allow him to turn away any longer, won't let him shut her out. This burden that he's carrying around needs to go, it's no longer his to bear. Tyson and Nieman are gone and the peace that should belong to them is still there, she just needs to help him find it.
She reaches for him, gently turns his face back to her. "You didn't deserve to witness a terrifying thing in the middle of the woods when you were a child. You didn't deserve to be framed for a murder you never committed or made to look like a cheater. We all go through things we don't deserve, Castle, what matters is how we react to them. I put you through quite a bit myself. Stop blaming yourself for this. Let it go, please?"
He breaks then, finally allowing Kate to pull him close. And then he sobs the final remnants of his guilt into Kate's chest, letting go of the noose that darkness had wrapped around him. She holds him through it, and then when he's finally calmed down she brings him back, she becomes his light.
They still had no answers about what happened in Hollander's Woods, still had no idea why Castle was taken on the day of their wedding. But one day they would get answers for those things. One day. Until then they would continue defeating the darkness, one beam of light at a time, using each other as a beacon when all other lights go out.
The darkness forces you to endure, finding the light reminds you that you succeeded.
Would love to hear your thoughts! xo