It was a reasonable expectation for anyone to make that once you have been in a relationship for long enough, kids were more or less intended to be part of the equation.
It was the simple flow of things. Two people get together, fall in love, have sex, marry, create mini versions of themselves, and then either die in duty or grow old together. Sure, maybe not always in that exact order, and maybe certain parts-such as falling in love and getting married-were optional, and hell, they were evidence of the contrary for how sometimes it was 1 + 1 + 1 instead of 1 + 1, but…
It was how things were. It was how things should be.
The Nara line was unbroken, from the very first Nara Shikamai, first to be blessed by the deer spirits and first to be gifted with the ability and knowledge on how to manipulate shadows, to his father's father, his grandfather's mother, and finally to him, Nara Shikamaru.
He had always known that it was part of his duties to continue the line and to produce an heir. For a few months, he had thought that it would be with Temari, head-strong and fierce, a troublesome woman but well worth it. But now, Shikamaru's lips curled, he had a different woman and a man who shared his bed and his heart, and he would have it no other way.
"You are 25 years old now," Hakuro intoned, his heavily lidded eyes serious as he stared at Shikamaru. Shikamaru shifted slightly from the seiza that he had been settled in for only a few minutes, already uncomfortable and perturbed at the attention from the four Nara elders. "We have allowed you your… dalliances."
Shikamaru resisted the urge to smirk and simply tilted his head, a mere acknowledgment of Hakuro, yet a polite dismissal in one at his distasteful tone. 'Allowed' was an odd way to put it, especially when all of them in attendance knew that Shikamaru wouldn't have listened nor obeyed their thinly veiled suggestions to find himself a more suitable-and singular, hopefully female-lover. 'Dalliance' was another odd, yet deliberate word to use when all of them knew that his lovers were the farthest thing from fleeting or fickle, such a juvenile word to describe their so-called fling.
"And we have accepted your commitment to the both of them," Tsuchiya continued. As they should. A Nara should be intelligent enough to recognize a lost cause for what it was and know that backing out of a situation was sometimes the smarter and better choice. Troublesome. Took them long enough. "But it is high time for you to produce an heir. Your father was around this age when he settled down and had you."
Shikamaru sighed to himself and reached up to scratch the back of his head, just below his ponytail. He had known this was coming, and he never deluded himself into thinking that it wouldn't. After all, it is how things were, and how things should be, and while Shikamaru never thought of himself as a man of duty…
He couldn't help but think that it wasn't such a bad idea.
A child with his coloring and maybe vibrant green eyes, or maybe a pink pony-tailed brat that would stand out among their Nara cousins, brilliant and intelligent, wielding the shadows with expert chakra control paired with their quick and sharp wit. A little girl with her father's eyes and her mother's temper, someone new to teach and play shoji with, maybe watch the clouds go by. A son with super strength and healing abilities only amplified by Nara craft and brains.
They would have to be careful, but Shikamaru thought that Neji wouldn't begrudge him keeping Sakura to himself for a while, at least until they were sure that she was with child. He couldn't help but smile. Maybe their next child would have the pearly white eyes of the Hyuuga, needle-sharp chakra control paired with the Juken an unstoppable force.
Any child of theirs would be brilliant. Their parents were geniuses, prodigies in their own right and formidable in their respective fields. They'd be perfect.
The only issue that Shikamaru could think of was Neji. The three of them hadn't quite discussed kids, and maybe they should have, but most shinobi tended not to get stuck on the particulars of their future—kids, marriage, all those details. They knew they were committed to each other, and wasn't that what mattered?
It came as no surprise when Neji's reaction, upon Shikamaru breaking the news, was a simple straightening up and a slow, measured blink over the rim of his cup of tea.
"I was about to bring that to your attention," Neji said finally, voice smooth. He took a dainty sip from the cup and then lowered it delicately. "The Hyuuga elders have expressed their desires for me to continue the line as well."
Years ago, the very thought of children being raised in the Branch family of the Hyuuga would have made Neji blanch. But Hanabi was the Head now, and the ghost of Hiashi Hyuuga and the black mark he had left on Neji's psyche was fading more and more every day. And yet still, the way Neji said 'desires' was much the same way he mentioned a mission. Unavoidable. Another duty that the Hyuuga would not budge in their pushing for, and let it never be said that Neji was not a man of duty.
A slow smile spread across Shikamaru's face and he leaned back, slouching slightly as he regarded Neji. Neji was straight-backed as always, impeccable form, and in his genin days, Shikamaru would have thought about the stick of his ass keeping his posture so immaculate. However, years with Neji and a critical eye have given Shikamaru the ability to see the looseness of Neij's shoulders, the comfortable ease in how Neji stretched out his legs and touched his cold toes to Shikamaru's bare leg.
"Our children would be beautiful," Shikamaru mused to himself. He stretched, slow and luxurious, heavily aware of the way Neji's gaze tracked the sinuous movement of his body. "I was…" he trailed off, "fantasizing about it earlier."
Neji smirked, tilting his head, his locks falling elegantly with his movement. "How can they be anything but?"
They shared a smile. Neji placed his cup of tea down in between them and the air sharpened a bit, a thrum of tension they both just barely felt.
"Let's discuss," Shikamaru drawled. They were lovers, yes, but there were… specifics to discuss. The Nara was not a Noble clan, but Shikamaru had his duties and his clan jutsus to think of, and his child would eventually succeed him. It didn't need to be said that the Hyuuga was possessive of the Byakugan, and there were traditions and duties that Neji had to hold up on his end as well. Nothing that couldn't be solved with planning and communication.
Earlier, Shikamaru thought it was almost guaranteed that their first child would be a Nara, but if the Hyuuga were pushing Neji to continue his line too, then adjustments and compromises would have to be made. Sakura was lucky that she only had to deal with these issues from the sidelines.
"Yes, let's."
On her worst days, and on her best days, Haruno Sakura was an unstoppable force and an immovable object.
This was something that both Neji and Shikamaru loved and disliked (never hate, as much as it was an inconvenience and an annoyance sometimes because they could never hate any part of her) about her to an equal degree.
They fell in love with her passion, as well as a multitude of other things. Her burning desire to push on and keep going, how she picked herself up, time and time again to only continue to get better, and the fire in her eyes when she knew she was right.
And yet, it made Haruno Sakura a stubborn woman, set in her ways and in her decisions, and at times like these, Shikamaru couldn't help but be so frustrated.
"No?" he repeated dumbly. He has been called slow before, but always in reference to his laziness and his old, general reluctance to do most things before he had grown up and matured and pushed himself to work for Konoha and his family and his loved ones. Never slow in terms of intelligence, except maybe back in the Academy when he didn't bother to apply himself, but even then, he was a Nara.
Sakura's lips pursed and she slowly set down the mug of coffee she was drinking out from. "No," she said once more, tone bordering on snappish in that way that it did when she was close to the edge of her limited patience.
He tried to backtrack.
"You don't want kids?"
"No, Shika," Sakura said slowly, each syllable carefully enunciated, leaving no room for doubt or misinterpretation. "I don't want kids."
"Okay," Shikamaru replied faintly. "Okay."
This was not in his plans.
Once more, Shikamaru found himself stretched out on the floor of their patio, the wood slightly cool in his palms.
"I don't understand why," he muttered. "I can think of plenty of reasons why Sakura wouldn't want kids, but-" he gave a frustrated huff, sighing to himself. "It's illogical."
"Sakura often is," Neji agreed mildly, no malice in his tone. Shikamaru smirked tiredly and leaned in closer to bump their shoulders together. Neji didn't draw away and instead slumped closer towards him, the heat of his body warming his up from the chill of the night air. "Maybe she can't."
Shikamaru glanced at him curiously. His lips pursed before he nodded slowly. "Maybe she's sick, or infertile, or maybe…"
"I find it hard to believe that she hasn't said anything about it if that is the case."
"We haven't really talked about having kids before this, have we?" Shikamaru countered and Neji tilted his head in agreement.
"I can always check the hospital records," Shikamaru mused and Neji immediately shook his head.
"No. Sakura will find out and she'll be upset. Better to just ask her straight out. If she's ashamed of it, we can always suggest other options." Neji's tone held the barest hints of reluctance. Other options-such a loaded phrase. The shadow jutsus of the Naras didn't rely on blood, merely a secret and a heavily guarded technique, but the Byakugan was a bloodline trait. Many of the Hyuuga techniques relied on it, and without the Byakugan was essentially useless. Shikamaru could understand Neji's worries. His options were much more limited compared to his.
He released a low breath. "Let's talk options then. I think we should ask her together this time."
"Is it…" Shikamaru trailed off, his eyebrows furrowed. Sakura glanced at him, her expression carefully neutral. He let his eyes drop down and he reached out to rub callused fingers over the thin scar on Sakura's stomach. On her other side, Neji traced the match on her back, both testament that she had survived getting stabbed straight through by Akasuna no Sasori.
It wasn't uncommon for shinobi to find themselves unable to bear or conceive children because of battle wounds or knotted scar tissue building up on the important places, and while Sakura was the greatest medic of all time, Shikamaru could admit that she was only 16 at the time and poisoned, survival her highest priority and the ability to bear kids a little lower on that ladder.
She blinked at him.
"I can have kids," she said simply. "I'm perfectly healthy to carry a child."
Behind her, Neji looked up and met Shikamaru's eyes as he frowned. "Then why not?" There were the hints of relief in his eyes and Shikamaru knew that Neji was entertaining the idea of convincing or waiting for Sakura to be okay with the idea of kids, now that he knew he could have biological kids with her.
She looked away, her eyes flickering over to Neji's before she lied down flat on her back, her eyes going back to her book, gaze lost. It was something she did when she didn't want to talk. Shikamaru has learned to read her well enough to know that she was only pretending to read, her eyes not straying over a single point. Her grip tightened on the edges of her book and Shikamaru's stomach tightened in discomfort.
"I just don't want to."
Shikamaru opened his mouth and then quickly closed it. There were plenty of other reasons why Sakura wouldn't want this. Ino herself used to be adamant against having kids, claiming they'd ruin her figure and her vagina, but Ino and Sai had eventually had Inojin anyway. He couldn't imagine Sakura being that concerned over her figure, she had never cared about her looks as much as Ino, not since that day in the Forest of Death-the first time Shikamaru had actually seen her as more than Ino's friend, more than Naruto's teammate, but Sakura.
He had figured that maybe Sakura didn't want to spend months pregnant, unable to keep up with her training or the more intense duties as a shinobi, especially in the latter parts of her pregnancy.
"There are other options," Neji said lowly, his eyebrows furrowed, his aristocratic features troubled. "If you don't want to be pregnant, I can understand that. But there's surrogacy, or we can even adopt from the branch clan. Shikamaru and I have talked about it, and both are viable."
Sakura's features tightened, her jaw clenched. Her hands trembled, and Shikamaru noted the way her knuckles whitened as she gripped her book.
"I don't—You didn't talk to me—" Sakura cut herself off, teeth clacking. She inhaled, her eyes closing as her eyebrows drew together. She pinched her lips and then looked up to first give him, and then Neji, a serious look, her green eyes hard.
"When I said no, I meant that I don't want kids. Period. At all. Whether it's ours biologically or adopted, I don't want to have kids, I don't want to raise kids, I don't want to take care of them, I don't want—I don't want kids." Her words were stilted, tone rough and harsh, but they were clear and left no room for misunderstanding.
Silence. It seemed to stretch on forever and forever, both Neji and Shikamaru at a loss for words.
"Why?" Neji asked calmly, echoing Shikamaru's own thoughts and confusion. Where Sakura runs hot, Neji has always been the cool one, level-headed even in face of Sakura's temper, and while Shikamaru could sense the emotions warring underneath Neji's façade, there were very little outward clues to show for it.
Sakura's eyes darted away, an oddness to the way her features twisted. She was still annoyed yes, but there was something about the way her chin dipped to her chest, the sudden slump of her shoulders and the way her throat bobbed as she swallowed and then grimaced slightly. Shikamaru wasn't raised on the intricacies of human behavior and the mind like Ino was, but even he could tell that something wasn't quite right.
"Do I need a reason?" she asked defensively, looking up at Neji through her eyelashes. Neji gazed back at her coolly.
"I think we deserve one."
"Neji," Shikamaru spoke up, voice mild but full of warning as he gave his lover a significant look. Sakura released a huff of air, a wry smile on her lips. Neji's lips pursed.
"If you don't want to explain then it's fine," Neji continued, albeit a little reluctant. He reached out, propping himself up on an elbow to touch Sakura's waist, ever gentle even if he was frustrated. "I just want to understand, Sakura."
"It's my decision," Sakura replied, jaw still held tight.
"Alright," Neji appeased and Sakura seemed to soften. She reached up to put the book down in the headboard of their bed, abandoning her farce of reading. She touched Neji's hand on her waist, eyes a little lost as she stroked at the skin on the back of his hand.
"I love you both, okay?" Sakura said quietly, tone oddly vulnerable.
Shikamaru sighed and then scooted over to press himself up closer to Sakura's side. He brushed his lips over her temple and wrapped an arm around her, his hand all the way to Neji and gentle on Neji's upper arm. Neji moved and adjusted with him until all three of them were pressed up together, Sakura cozy in the middle of them, right where she belonged.
"We love you," Shikamaru murmured, and Neji hummed in agreement. They were silent once more, the tensions of earlier still thrumming underneath their skin, but pressed up like this, none of them could help but relax into each other and find comfort in the embrace.
And yet Shikamaru's mind was still running, trying to find explanation for why Sakura didn't want this, why she didn't want to have a family with the both of them. She loved them, he didn't doubt that, and she was committed to them, he knew that too. She had no problem with kids, even babysat Inojin and Chocho and the other children of their friends, and hell, she was good with them too, lovely and beautiful and kind, a patience that she only showed with her patients and with kids.
When they were younger, it had been her dream to one day be Uchiha Sasuke's wife, and Shikamaru knew that Sakura must have known that Sasuke wanted to restore his clan too, and that certainly required having children one way or another. Sakura didn't act as if it was a problem back then, and had even seemed intent on it. Sure, she had changed from a bumbling fangirl to an independent kunoichi, but-that still didn't explain why even adopting kids was out of the question for her.
Shikamaru needed an heir, he needed a child to pass down the title of Nara Head to one day, because he was aware of the dangers of their duty. He might not live until his 30's, but the Nara needed to continue to flourish, and they needed a head to do so.
His stomach churned and he closed his eyes. The Nara elders have put up with him, Sakura, and Neji for far too long and their patience was wearing thin. They had allowed it because at least Sakura was a woman, a capable and talented kunoichi in her own right and any child of theirs would be spectacular. Although they weren't as strict, or as conservative or traditional as the Hyuuga-it had been a political nightmare when Neji had decided to be open with them-but the Nara elders were still held by their duty to want what was best for the clan.
Neji and he could try to persuade Sakura, let her see the need for both of them to continue their lines, but Shikamaru honestly couldn't see where that would go. Sakura was civilian born, and she had barely been exposed to clan politics, but maybe if she was… Even then, he still couldn't predict if Sakura would change her mind or stay set in her ways, and if she did, if ever, stick with her decision to remain childless… Shikamaru didn't know what he'd do when the Nara elders came knocking down their door for an update and with questions why Sakura wasn't pregnant and waddling around already.
There were very few times in his life that Shikamaru found himself with questions that he didn't know the answer to.
"Oh, tell Forehead congratulations for me," Ino chirped, and grinned at him.
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, giving Ino a look. "Congratulations on what?"
"Her promotion, of course!" Ino laughed. "Imagine— head of the hospital at our age! Poor you and Neji, I doubt she'll have much time left for the two of you, but I guess that's the benefits of having two lovers, huh? You can always entertain each other while Sakura's working her ass off."
The pieces of the puzzle he had been brooding over finally clicked into place.
His two lovers were already at home when Shikamaru strode in.
He wasn't angry. Not much angered him. But there was a stiffness to the way he regarded Sakura, his eyebrows drawn together and his jaw tight. He wrung out his hands at his side and then purposefully strode towards them, seating himself on the chair to the side of the couch they were splayed out on.
Sakura's head was on Neji's lap, his delicate fingers running through her hair, contentment clear on her features. But the moment she saw the focused gleam in his eyes, she stiffened, tension bleeding into her form before she sat up. Neji's hand dropped to his lap.
"Ino told me about your promotion," Shikamaru said bluntly. Sakura, to her benefit, didn't even flinch. There was only a tick to her jaw that disappeared as quickly as it came.
"You got promoted?" Neji asked, smiling slightly with pride, ever doting, "Congratulations."
Sakura's eyes darted to his. "Thank you."
Neji's smile faltered.
"I've been thinking," Shikamaru said lowly. He raised his hands to prop his head up on them, features solemn. "If you don't want to have children because of that-I don't understand. You don't need to work. Neji and I can both provide for you."
Sakura gaped at him in disbelief, hurt clear in her eyes.
"You're placing your career over this? Over us, over a family?" Neji asked, and there was disbelief in his tone and in his eyes. Sakura flinched. "You don't need this, we have plenty of money—"
"The hospital needs me. This is my life. It's my duty to Konoha," Sakura finally snapped, cutting him off as she looked at him, and then at Shikamaru, her eyes burning. Shikamaru winced. Konoha came first, it always has, all three of them knew and were committed to that, to this life. He just didn't think that Sakura would place this commitment over them, over everything they've built up and fought for the past year.
"Sakura," he said plaintively. "We can compromise. You can head the hospital, Neji and I can take care of our children, and there are plenty of friends and people from our clans willing to take care of our children while we're all working and busy."
"No," Sakura repeated, her tone as close to begging as it ever would be, her eyes pleading for them to understand. "I don't want that. I don't want to have children that'll be raised by caretakers. I don't want to have children that won't know me. I'll barely have time for the two of you, much less children. They deserve better than that and I can't, and I won't— I'm not willing to give a child that level of attention over my job."
"You're so selfish," Neji murmured, shaking his head as he stood up and prowled away from the both of them. His eyes were cold and Shikamaru could feel the beginnings of visceral panic wiggle in his chest, making it hard for him to breathe. This wasn't what he intended. He didn't want them to fight.
"I can't believe you," Neji said quietly. He never raised his voice, never at them, but the disappointment and the hurt in his eyes were so visibly clear that it was enough to strike at Sakura. Her shoulders curled in on herself and she gripped the hem of her skirt, expression forlorn. "What about us? Don't you care?"
"I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes squeezed shut. The fight from earlier had bled out of her, and she looked so awfully small in their couch. "This is why I didn't tell either of you."
Neji rubbed his hand over his face. "You're not willing to compromise," he said bluntly. It wasn't a question. Warning bells started to ring in Shikamaru's mind and he straightened up, staring at Neji in muted horror, barely believing it even if every sign pointed towards the inevitable conclusion.
Sakura was silent for a moment, both of them just staring at each other while Shikamaru looked on, his heartbeat loud in his ears. It was a trainwreck he couldn't look away from, no matter how much he didn't want to see it.
"No," Sakura replied quietly. "No, I'm not. Not right now."
"I'm not either."
"Are you going to leave too?" Sakura asked, not looking at him, her tone oddly calm and her body deathly still.
Shikamaru leaned back into the chair, his head spinning as he covered his face and then ran a hand up to his ponytail. Was this his fault? Or was this, as Neji would have said, fated and would have happened one way or another?
"I'm sorry, Sakura. I have to."
Shikamaru doesn't see the confrontation between Sasuke, Naruto, and Neji, but he does hear about it, in very extensive detail.
From Ino, first and foremost, because who else did he hear his daily gossip from? Sakura passed him a warning and an apology and that she'd try to control them, but he knew how Naruto and Sasuke was.
And of course, Shikamaru saw the aftermath.
Neji showed up at the edges of the Nara forest, a huge bruise blooming bright over his left cheek and eye. Shikamaru took him into his arms and pressed a gentle kiss to the unblemished side. He felt unbalanced. They have always gotten along so very well, and he loved Neji, he did, but there was an empty space at their side where Sakura should be, and the incompleteness jarred and grated against his broken edges. This wasn't how they're supposed to be.
He said nothing when the next day, Neji's bruise was healed and he smelled strongly of Sakura. He said nothing about the thoughtful, quietly considering look Neji had on his face the whole day, so clearly lost in whatever it was that had taken hold of his mind. He said nothing when Neji entered a meeting with the Hyuuga elders and didn't come back out until the sun had set.
And so when a blur of orange dropped down from the sky, the shadows bendt to his will and trapped the ball of righteous anger in its tracks.
"She loves you!" Naruto yelled at him, and Shikamaru had no doubt that if he wasn't held by his shadows, Naruo would be pointing an accusing finger at him before launching a reckless, overpowered attack as he was wont to do.
"You think I don't love her?" Shikamaru asked.
"I don't think you love her enough."
Shikamaru stiffened at the voice behind him, the evenness of the tone the calm before the storm, the false rest of the sky before lightning struck you down.
Uchiha Sasuke, the sole member of the Uchiha clan.
Shikamaru slouched and eyed the both of them warily. What a drag. "You don't understand."
"No, I think I do," Sasuke countered, his mismatched eyes narrowed, and at once, Shikamaru understood. He straightened up and looked between Naruto and Sasuke, and heard everything unsaid. And he saw the months of disagreements between the elders of Konoha clear on the weariness in Sasuke's features, their wish-no, their demand for him to revive his clan, to return the Sharingan to Konoha, to have children with any willing woman.
He released Naruto and accepted the right hook to his face. He stumbled back, ready to accept a few more punches, but there was none. He opened his eyes and blinked at Naruto, standing beside Sasuke with a self-satisfied expression on his face.
"Now you and that other idiot match," Naruto said. "Look, Shikamaru, you're one of my closest friends too and you're the farthest thing from an idiot. A lot of people try to tell me what to do but you know-love is everything and-"
Shikamaru let him ramble, his patented Talk no Jutsu entering one ear and exiting the other. He didn't need to hear Naruto's speech on how Friendship and Love will prevail and fuck everyone who thinks differently. He saw it, after all, in the way Naruto and Sasuke stood-together, even amidst the demands and the pressure and all their differences, united and strong. Together, because that was what mattered at the end of the day.
He had arrangements to make, and people to talk to.
"Are you sure about this?" Hakuro asked with a sigh.
"Yes," Shikamaru murmured and bowed his head.
"It is a logical solution," Hakura acquiesced and frowned, "But the better option-"
Shikamaru's lips pursed and he shook his head. This is the only option I will accept."
"I need to talk to you," Neji said quietly.
"I was just about to look for you," Shikamaru sighed in relief. "The Hyuuga aren't happy with you, are they?"
"They'll get what they want in the end, won't they? I've done my duty," Neji replied airily, his eyes sliding to Shikamaru's. He gave a tiny, sly twist of his lips and Shikamaru chuckled.
"What are you doing here?" Sakura asked warily. She stared at the both of them standing on her doorstep, her eyes darting back and forth between the two of them as if she could glean an explanation from their expressions alone.
"We want to talk."
"I haven't changed my mind," Sakura replied cautiously, slowly, distrustful almost and Shikamaru's heart gave a painful pang at her tone and the hurt that cloaked her shoulders.
They glanced at each other.
"We have."
The Hyuuga had insisted that Neji continue his line, and so he had-He donated his sperm, and for a Hyuuga man who had been declared infertile, who had thought himself unable to have kids of his own. He and his wife bore a child, biologically Neji's, but theirs in all the ways that counted.
The Nara had insisted on an heir, and so Shikamaru had promised to choose an heir from the Nara children, whoever proved themselves worthy and capable of leading the clan. As a result, more Nara children became more actively involved-as active as a Nara could be, anyhow.
It was a reasonable expectation for anyone to make that once you have been in a relationship for long enough, kids were more or less intended to be part of the equation.
It was how things were-but not necessarily how they should be.