Authors Notes: This is my first Harry Potter story. Please, do not flame me. I'm not that great of a writer but I think I'm decent. I haven't read the 6th and 7th books. All I know is that a war happens in the 7th, so there's a slight change in my version of book 6. You'll find out.
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters – nor do I own the song.
Summary: Hermione goes back to that night she and Ginny showed their love. Femslash. HG/GW [Minds on Fire One Shot Songfic
Contains: Female on Female, Sexual Content, Depressing Themes.
Worth The Wait
I feel what I've been feeling for you
Means I am falling for you
Somethings opened up inside of me
And I dream in shades that only can be
The colors of you and me
I think we both know what that means
I stand inside this promise I've made to myself
But I was meant for you
I still remember that day. That day we first made love. It was the best day of my life... but here I am – 23 years old and still fighting a war against Voldemort. I haven't seen her since I graduated Hogwarts... I still feel my heart breaking – just knowing she's probably loving another. Why couldn't it be me? Why did she leave me? Why had she made love to me that night?
Why?
Why?
Why?
So many questions, yet no answers. I took a cigarette out of the pack and lit it, inhaling. I closed my eyes and felt myself drift into a memory from long ago.
"What are you talking about Ron?" I asked, making Ginny laugh. Ron was going on and on about absolutely nothing. He was rambling – like he normally does. "That's rubbish..."
"Come on, Hermione! You have to know that's true! Your damned cat stole it!" Ron defended. He kept on complaining that Crookshanks had stolen his wand.
"It is not! That's not even possible," I rolled my eyes and poked at my chicken leg in front of me. Nothing really seemed appetizing right now. I haven't been eating as much as I usually had. I sighed and put the fork down. "I'm going to bed. I'm getting tired. I have an exam tomorrow that I need to do some last minute studying for..." Ron rolled his eyes at me. I glared at him and ran a hand through my dishwater blond hair. "Have you even studied at all?" With wide eyes, Ron started shoving food down his throat. I made a disgusted, throaty groan and looked away. Pig.
"'Mione, you've been studying for that exam for days... just chill. You'll pass it. I believe in you," a soft voice said to my right. Ginny.
My heart did an irregular beat – I quickly took a breath and stood up. "Goodnight."
I heard Harry start to speak to Ron. "This is rubbish. We should not have to have an exam the day before..." His voice became distant to me as I moved farther and farther away from my group.
Here I was... in my 6th – and possibly last – year. A prefect and a bookworm. A girl who didn't know what to do anymore.
If I fall
If I break
If I lose myself in someone
If I give all I am it will be with you
When I'm ready to take all that you want me to give
It will be worth the wait
Worth the wait
The war had been going on since last year. Headmaster Mcgonagall wouldn't allow us to fight as long as we were still going to school here at Hogwarts. She didn't want to put her students at risk. But she doesn't know that if we don't fight, we're at a bigger risk. We've already had two attacks here at school and she still refuses... I can't blame her, really. I'd probably do the same thing.
I reached the top of the steps and walked in to the Gryffindor common room and walked to the right, sitting on the soft couch. I had gotten skinnier. I've become weak – useless. I knew that my friends knew but wouldn't say a thing about it. Ginny tried to talk to me about it but I just brushed it off, saying I wasn't hungry or that I wasn't feeling well. I pulled a pillow up to my chest and rested my chin on my knees. I heard the door open and saw Ginny standing there. "You didn't touch your food..." she stated.
"I'm not feeling well..."
"'Mione... You're never feeling well..." She came over and went to kneel in front of me but I stood up, placing the pillow in it's previous spot.
"Just – leave me alone..." I walked up the stairs and into my Head Girl's room. I hated being so cold to Ginny. I had been cold to all my friends lately. I can feel myself changing... I feel so angry all the time – like Harry did last year.
Ever since Volde- I mean... You-Know-Who... returned, it's like I'm feeling angry all the time. I want to help fight – I need to but...
There was a knock at my door. I rolled my eyes and walked up to it, locking it so no one would come in. I frowned. I reached over for my bag, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, Doral... I grabbed the lighter and lit one up. Walking to the window, I inhaled the sweet nicotine, letting it floss my brain. I opened the window and sat on the sill. "Hermione?" Ginny had called.
My heart
I wanna save it for you
Don't want it broken into pieces
I need myself to be whole
Could we
Just sit and talk awhile
Just want to see your smile
Feel your sunlight shining over me
"Alohomora," I heard her command. I'm screwed... The door came open and she didn't notice my cigarette that had been dangling between my lips. I inhaled again and exhaled. I looked at her and she looked at me, the moonlight shining in her hair. She looked beautiful.
Lately, I've been breaking into a million pieces. I try to cry but I can't... but looking at her – knowing I might actually lose her one day because of this god damned war... It kills me inside. She doesn't even know – know how I feel about her.
"Hey, Gin... Sorry about earlier..." I said, the smoking piling out of my mouth as I speak. She walked towards me, taking the cigarette from my hand. I look at her, but down, at her clothed legs – ashamed.
"You can't keep doing this... you haven't really spoken to me in days. 'Mione..." She sits across from me on the window sill. "What's going on with you?"
I decided to give in...
"Gin, I've just been angry. This war is ridiculous... We need to act but – we can't until we graduate. Mcgonagall won't allow us to fight while we're in her school..."
She sighed, placing a hand on my leg. "I know how you feel... Losing the ones you love though... doesn't that get to you at all? Doesn't losing me get to you...?" I look at her. She can't mean - "You can't keep dreading this. You can't keep this up. It'll break you..."
"It already has, Gin..." I felt a tear fall from my eye. I closed my eyes, hoping talking to her was just a dream and that I would wake up. It wasn't...
"No... it hasn't..." I looked down, but she grabbed my chin gingerly and felt her eyes bore into me. "Look at me, Hermione..." Her voice was tender – loving. I couldn't keep this inside of me. It would kill me.
If I fall
If I break
If I lose myself in someone
If I give all I am it will be with you
When I'm ready to take all that you want me to give
It will be worth the wait
Worth the wait
"Is all this worth it?" I asked, knowing I made no sense.
"Is all what worth it?" She rubbed her thumb against my chin softly. I shrugged. "Come on, out with it..." My face was wet and I knew it. I was breaking inside.
"Is all this worth it... Fighting You-Know-Who, worrying about losing each other, worrying about dying..." Losing you.
"Yes, it is... If I know you, you aren't going to let him get away. We're going to kill him, 'Mione. Just give it time..."
I broke into a full sob. My shoulders shook and she wrapped her slim arms around me. It felt good to be held by someone you loved. I felt her lips on my neck, her breath hitting my exposed skin. I pulled away and looked at her, lips centimeters apart. She closed the gap.
Her lips were tender – soft. I felt her tongue hit my bottom lip but I pulled away. "I can't – I can't... Gin..." I bit my lip. I didn't want it to happen because of her pity towards me. I wanted it to be real – true.
"Shhh... It's okay..." Her hand was on the crook of my neck – pulling me closer to her once again. Without breaking the kiss, she lead me to the bed after closing the window. She placed her arms around my waist, pulling me even closer than before – if that was even possible. My hand made its way to the back of her neck. I felt her arms leave my waist and head to the hem of my shirt, pulling it up above my ribs.
When her hands hit bare skin, I felt myself hitch a breath, not wanting it to leave. But her hands did – by pulling the shirt off.
Worth all the
Long nights dreaming of forever
Someday we will be together
I know it will happen
So worth the wait
About two hours later, we were on the bed – under the covers, still making love. Her fingers were pumping in and out of me, my hips moving towards them. It felt amazing. I never wanted this feeling to end. I knew it would – I knew it would end. "Gin..." I breathed. "I'm almost there... don't -" Her lips moved to mine, whispering things I couldn't hear but I knew even if she didn't.
I felt myself tighten around her. She didn't withdraw – she kept moving, only slower. I gripped the silk sheets. As my climax dissipated, I felt her move so her head was on my shoulder and her arms were wrapped around me.
Please wait for me
A cherry hit me, making me jump. Shit. I flicked it off of me and inhaled again. I bit my lip tenderly, trying to forget – but couldn't.
The last thing she said to me was, "please wait for me." At the time, I didn't know what it had meant. Now I do.
She mean to wait for the end of the war – till Voldemort's dead. It took me this long to figure it out. All this time I was angry at her for leaving me like this. Depressed – deprived.
After that night, we hadn't spoke of that day. There's not a day goes by that I don't think about it. It was my first. I've been waiting for her for a little over five years. No sign of Ginny – no word from Ginny – not even a letter from the Weasley's or Harry.
I couldn't blame them really. Everyone was in different parts of the world fighting off death eaters. We had been fighting for years and still nothing... We seemed to be losing more and more every day. A week ago, Voldemort found my parents and killed them in front of me right as I was about to visit them for the first time in years. I always wondered if Ginny knew.
She couldn't know... if she did she'd be right here on my doorstep. Ginny had changed me back then at Hogwarts.
Because of Ginny, I stopped smoking habit then.
Because of that night, I hadn't felt so depressed – sad – as I usually had.
However, because of the war, it all came back.
All of my habits had returned. If I do see Ginny again, however, I hope it will be worth the wait and maybe someday we'll be together. And maybe... I know it will happen.
Then I hear a knock at my door. I look through the spy hole and see an all too familiar shade of red hair.
If I fall
If I break
If I lose myself in someone
If I give all I am it will be with you (Yeah, yeah)
When I'm ready to take all that you want me to give
I will be worth the wait
Authors Notes: I might write a sequel/continuation if I know that people will read it. I might... Hell, this might not even be a one shot. Hint Hint
The song is "Worth The Wait" by Jordin Sparks, the newest American Idol, off of her debut CD (You need to get the special edition, I think). It's an amazing song that I think is a must-listen-to. Download it and/or buy it to support Jordin. It'll be worth the time, I promise.
baby.capri.1990