just a really quick spoof that came to me one day. no offense intended, i like the books too. i hope you find it at least vaguely amusing, enjoy.
i own nothing
I finished introducing myself to the teacher and sneaked a glance at Edward Cullen, his entire face had changed. his hand was clamped on his nose and he wore a look of total disgust mixed with anger on his face. Unfortunately the seat next to him was the only spare. I sat down embarrassed to be sat next to him. His hand never left his nose, which really bugged me, it wasn't like I hadn't showered this morning.
'What is your problem?' I asked in an aggravated whisper. He just glared his eyes smoldering. They made my head spin and I just said the first thing that popped into my head.
'Is it because you're a vampire and I'm your brand of heroin?'
He raised a perfectly formed eyebrow 'What on earth are you talking about?'
I tried to put my brain back in. 'Well if that's not it why are you acting like this?'
'The person in front, he's farted.'