A/N: While reading the chapter where Kagura dies for the fifth time, I felt inspired to write this. Kagura was one of my favorite characters, and I never considered her to be one of the "bad guys." I cry whenever I think of her death. So this is a tribute to one of my favorite characters…who's tragic story always chokes me up.
Just One More Time…
It's quiet. Heh, I guess it would be. But…I never really noticed how quiet things can get when your alone. Alone…That's what I used to want to be. I wanted my freedom so badly, just to get away from Naraku, that it didn't really register that I would be alone.
But it doesn't really matter anymore. I am away from Naraku. I am free.
Free. Heh, this is freedom? To die in the middle of a flowery field, with no one?
Yes. I am free. Free to die.
I guess I always knew one day Naraku would find me a traitor. I sort of always knew I would die, and now, here I am. I was born from Naraku, and he could take away my life at any moment. I was his minion, that's all I ever was. Even when I was plotting against him, trying to take my freedom, he was just toying with me. Minions server there purpose, and once they have fulfilled their task, the master has no more use for them.
And he has no use for me now because I betrayed him yet again. I searched for the baby…and I saved Kohaku. Heh, I didn't want Hakudoshi to get the shikon shard. But…still, I couldn't let him die. He was just like me, forced to work for Naraku even though he didn't want to. However, the poor kid had been through so much more than I went through. He deserves to kill Naraku…
My heart…it's moving…Beating…Something I haven't ever felt. That wonderful sound, knowing that I am bound to know one. I guess I have to enjoy it while it lasts…
But…I wonder…where will I go from here? What will happen when I die? I shouldn't be afraid considering I've been through quite a lot but…
No. I can go anywhere. Anywhere I want to. I am free.
I wish I could go anywhere, that is. But…damnit, my body won't move.
If I could go anywhere I would go see…him.
I remember how I last met him. I came to ask him for his help once again. But I didn't really want his help. What I really wanted was…
I wanted to see him, just once more time. Because I knew that soon, I would probably die. But now…I wish I could see him now.
Why couldn't I seen him more often? If I had known this would have happened, I wish I could have seen him more than I did. I kept wishing…hoping…that I would run into him. All the time I would watch and wait to see him, at first to beg his help, but soon…I wanted to see him because…
I love him.
Heh…who knew minions could love, huh? At least Naraku could never take that feeling from me. It was all that kept me going...
I can see him clearly in my mind now. Exactly the way I remember him…I just wish you were here…But…even though I know you don't love me…I want to see you…one more time…
I wonder if anyone will care when I'm gone? I know you won't. You don't care. I am nothing in your eyes. Just insignificant compared to you, nothing more. I know you never even paid me any mind.
But…all I ever wanted, besides my freedom, that is, was to know you cared. Just…I wished to know you cared for me. If I know you would miss me…then I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind one bit.
Though I can think of no one who would care for me once I am dead, Just seeing you…one more time…I would be content.
Will you ever think of me? Besides shrugging me off and saying "She got what she deserved?" I know…at one time, you told me to lay low. Because Naraku might find out that I intended to betray him. Did you…care? Or was it because you didn't care. You were just warning me. I know that now.
I just want to know…did I ever cross your thoughts? There's so much I want to know…but I'll never know now. I'll never know anything…about you.
For a long time I watched you. Hoping…wishing…that you might feel the same way for me, but at last I know, I am meaningless. I am nothing to you. Nothing to anyone else.
I know I won't be missed. No one will cry for me. Heh, what did I expect? What do I expect?
It's so quiet. There's no one. And…you're not here…I'll never see you again…
So this is where it ends, is it? I'm all alone—I just wish…I could have seen you…one more time, and told you how I—
I guess…this is the freedom I was longing for…
But now I realize…I was free. I was free to think about you. I was free to love you. Why couldn't that be enough?
The wind…huh? It can't be…but it is…It's you. You're…Why are you…Why are you here? My heart skipped a beat. The first time I ever felt that feeling…of my heart racing…
Your face…just as I remember. But your eyes…are they full of…pity? You pity me? It's not an illusion. I know. You came. But why? I am insignificant to you. But…you came for me?
Sesshoumaru…
"I came following after the scent of Naraku's shouki." You say. Heh, I should have known. He didn't come for me. He came because he thought he could chase Naraku. All my hopes that I had thought in a second are dashed. He doesn't come for me, he comes for Naraku.
"Heh…you'll be disappointed. He's not here." He's probably long gone, making up another minion to do his bidding. Another minion that can long for freedom as I did…
Why do you continue to stare at me? You can leave. You saw that Naraku isn't here, but why do you stay?
"I knew it was you."
A gasp escaped me there. I can't help but look back at him. He…he did come for me. But…still…I don't understand why. I am insignificant…yet…
"I…see…"
You knew, and so you came. You knew I was dying…and yet you came…why? Why would you come for me? I can think of no reason unless…
He reaches for one of his swords but then stops. I know what he is thinking. I know one of those swords can raise the dead, but I know that even with that magic sword, he cannot save me.
But, because of this…was…was it wrong to hope for what I did?
I can feel the poison spreading through my body. Naraku made doubly sure I wouldn't live. It won't be much longer now. Soon…I will be dead. But that doesn't scare me anymore. I do not fear even death. I cannot fear anything…with you here.
"Are you going?" You ask.
There is nothing else I can do. You cannot save me, and Naraku wanted me to die. There is nothing left for me to do, but die. "Yeah…it's fine." Death is much better than this world anyway.
I look back at him. He still looks at me with pity…or is it sadness? Are you sad for me? You actually care?
I can feel myself going. I'm slipping away now. But it doesn't matter. I got to see you...one more time…And in the end…I was with you.
And I dissolve into the wind…I become the wind…I am the wind…The flower petals whip around me as I leave my body behind…And then…
It's not dark. I thought it would be nothing…But I am still here…just in the wind…I can still see you…and others…they came…They cared…But it doesn't matter…You were the only one I wanted to see…Now…I can always see you…I will always be able to see your face…
I am the wind. I am free. I am free to see you…
Though I died…I don't care…because I know…
Now I know…you care…
Fin
A/N: This was rather short…but still…It's a tribute to a couple which even though never got together, was one of my favorites. But even so…Kagura had such a sad story…Gets me every time. And so…Kagura, (manga volumes 15-38), may you rest in peace.