author's note: information at the bottom. it's best if you read the fanfiction first.
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"Leave me."
Mrs. Lovett frowned and reluctantly left. Mr. Todd observed her go and waited until she was completely downstairs. After he was sure, he turned back to his razor.
"Finally…" he muttered, "We're alone… my friend… my love."
He ran his fingers across the shining blade, rounding it around the point and bringing it to the other side of the razor. The hand holding the razor's handle tightened as he pulled it closer to him. His lips made contact with the cold sliver. His fingers on the hand holding the opposite side of the blade curled around the blade. Blood trickled down the blade, but it wasn't enough for Sweeney to take notice.
He ran his tongue along the blade. He felt the euphoria erupting through him. The blade rotated in different direction as he bussed his razor. Soon he had fallen over to the floor, caressing his friend.
As much as he rather not, he had to keep his eyes shut. The sharpened edges of the blade had inflicted several cuts into his face. Those cut that were now bleeding. If he were to open his eyes, they would fill with blood and be useless anyway. If he took away his hands he would probably be able to wipe away the blood from his face.
He was continuing to fondle the razor. He moved it down his cheek and toward his neck. He groaned with delight. The blade skimmed the surface of his skin and caused some more blood to stream onto the floor.
He ran his fingers across the blade once more and then whispered, "I love you… my friend."
--9 months later…--
The doctor came out into the waiting room. Mr. Todd's head lifted and he got to his feet. The doctor was holding a bundle of cloth. From it small noises came from. "I'm sorry, sir, she didn't make it." He held the bundle out for Sweeney to take it. "Is he yours?"
He didn't want to raise this child alone. "No," he lied.
"Well," the doctor sighed, "We'll just drop him off in some orphanage. You should name him, though."
"I'll name him…" Mr. Todd grabbed the bundle and looked into. The infant had messy black hair. His hands were a bonanza of several sharp objects. The name seemed to come to him instantly. "Edward."
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author's note & disclaimer: people, just an fyi, don't take this seriously. it might sound serious; but this is for huuuumor… if you didn't get the ending… go watch some more johnny depp movies. anywho, this idea is, as a matter of fact, not my own. it is based after a comic done by nire-chan on deviantart. The characters are mine (LOL JK D:). it takes place after the song my friends if you were unable to tell.