Everyone's A Little Bit Racist

Hello, hello and hello again! I am BACK! I follow the copyrights to Nintendo and Sega. I do not own Avenue Q's "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist". You know, I was listening to the song "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist" from Avenue Q and suddenly I had this idea for a Mario & Sonic fic! You know True Colours from SMB3? And do you know "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" from Avenue Q? Well, mix it all together and you get this fic! Whatever is in italics, is singing. ENJOY!

Sonic was curious about something. About Mushrooms. He needed to know. "Say Toadette, can I ask you a question?" Sonic asked Toadette. "Sure." Toadette replied. "Well, you know Toad nearby?" Sonic asked. "Uh-huh." Toadette nodded. "Well, he's Toad, and your Toadette." Sonic stated. "Right." Toadette replied, wondering what was going on. "You're both Mushrooms." Sonic pointed out. "Yeah." Toadette said. "Are you two related?" Sonic asked. "WHAT! Sonic, I'm surprised at you! I FIND THAT RACIST!" Toadette exclaimed. "Oh, well, I'm sorry, I was just asking." Sonic said back. "WELL, IT'S A TOUCHY SUBJECT! No, not all Mushrooms are related! What are you trying to say, huh, that we all look the same to you! HUH, HUH, HUH!" Toadette interjected angrily. "No! Not at all! Well, I'm sorry, but I guess that was a little racist." Sonic said sheepishly. "I should say so! You should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race!" Toadette warned Sonic. "Uh, well look who's talking!" Sonic said. "What do you mean?" Toadette asked. "What about the Mushroom Kingdom?" Sonic asked. "What about it?" Toadette asked curiously. "Well, are the Koopas welcome?" Sonic asked, curious about the Mushroom Kingdom. "No, we don't want others like Koopas-" Toadette got cut off by Sonic. "Ah-ha-ha, you see! You're a little bit racist!" Sonic told Toadette. "Well, you're a little bit, too!" Toadette snapped back. "I guess we're both a little bit racist!" Sonic wondered. "Admitting it is not an easy thing to do!" Toadette said. "But I guess it's true." Sonic replied back. "Between me and you, I think," Toadette jumped to the next part with Sonic.

"Everyone's a little bit racist, sometimes, doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes- look around and you will find, no-one's really colour blind. Maybe it's a fact we all should face- everyone makes judgments…..based on race!" They said to each other. "No, not big judgments like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from…" Sonic stated. "No!" Toadette agreed. "No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!" Sonic pointed out. "Right!" Toadette agreed.

"Everyone's a little bit racist, today-! So everyone's a little bit racist, OK-! Ethnic jokes might be uncouth but you laugh because they're based on truth! Don't take them as personal attacks-! Everyone enjoys them….. so relax!" They agreed together.

"Alright, stop me if you've heard this one!" Sonic told Toadette. "OK!" Toadette nodded. "Alright, there's a plane going down, there's only one parachute and there's a rabbi, a priest…" Sonic got cut off by Toadette. "And a BLACK guy!" Toadette finished off.

"WHAT 'CHOO TALKIN' 'BOUT, TOADETTE!" Shadow yelled out from nowhere. Toadette shivered. "YOU WERE TELLING A BLACK JOKE!" Shadow shouted. "Well, sure, Shadow, but lots of people tell black jokes." Sonic said, trying to calm Shadow down. "I don't." Shadow said flatly. "Well, of course, you don't, you're black. But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?" Sonic asked. "Well, sure I do, huh-huh! Those stupid Polacks! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Shadow laughed. "Now, don't you think THAT'S a little racist?" Sonic asked. Shadow stopped laughing. "Well, damn, I guess you're right." Shadow suggested.

"You're a little bit racist!" Toadette led. "Well, you're a little bit too!" Shadow stated. "We're all a little bit racist!" Sonic suggested. "I think that I would have to agree with you!" Shadow admitted. "We're glad you do!" Sonic and Toadette complimented. "It's sad, but true!" Shadow said.

"Everyone's a little bit racist, alright!" Shadow chimed. "Alright." Toadette said. "Alright." Sonic joined in. "Alright. Bigotry has never been exclusively white-!" Shadow said with meaning. "If we all could just admit, that we are racist a little bit, even though we all know that it's wrong-! Maybe it would help us...get along!" They all admitted.

"Oh, Christ, do I feel good!" Sonic said, glad to get racism off his chest. "Now there was a fine, upstanding black man!" Sonic exclaimed. "Who?" Sonic asked. "Jesus Christ!" Shadow replied. "But, Shadow, Jesus was white!" Toadette stated. "No, Jesus was black!" Shadow said back. "No, Jesus was white." Toadette said. "No, I'm pretty sure Jesus was black-" Shadow got cut off by Sonic. "GUYS, GUYS! Jesus was Jewish!" Sonic said, trying to break up the argument. They all burst out in side-splitting laughter.

"Hey guys, what are you laughing about?" Luigi walked in and asked. "Racism!" Shadow said. "Cool." Luigi said. "LUIGI, COME BACK HERE, YOU TAKE OUT LECYCURABURS!" Daisy called back from the castle. "What's that mean?" Sonic asked, confused. "Um, recyclables." Luigi meekly said. Sonic, Toadette and Shadow were rolling on the floor laughing. "Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?" Luigi said defensively. "Oh, come off it, Luigi! Everyone's a little bit racist!" Toadette led. "I'm not!" Luigi retorted. "Oh no?" Sonic asked. "Nope! How many Sarsarental wives have you got?" Luigi asked. "WHAT, LUIGI!" Daisy screamed. "Luigi, buddy, where you been? The term is Sarsa-Mushroomin!" Sonic corrected. "I know you are no intending to be-! But calling me 'Sarsarental'...offensive to me!" Daisy said, hurt. Luigi took her hands. "I'm sorry, honey! I love you!" Luigi said. "And I love you!" Daisy said back. "But, you're racist too!" Luigi told her. "Yes. I know." Daisy said sheepishly.

"The Mushrooms have the money and the Koopas have the power! And I'm always in taxi-cab with driver who no shower!" Daisy complained. "Me too!" Sonic said. "Me too!" Toadette replied. "I CAN'T EVEN GET A TAXI!" Shadow shouted.

"Everyone's a little bit racist, it's true! But everyone is just about as racist as you-! If we all could just admit, that we are racist a little bit! And everyone stopped being so PC-! Maybe we could live in-harmony-!" They all sung together. "Evlyone's a ritter bit laciest!" Daisy said.

THE END

How was that? You know (I know that hair colours aren't a race), but I'm blonde and I don't get offended over blonde jokes. I barely know any, except for when I was younger, but I forgot all about blonde jokes. Call me crazy, but the racist song is from Avenue Q. I gotta go. PLEASE REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! Have a nice day!

From Captain fstarlet.