AN: Wooo! My 50th fic online! :D Also, I have 50 followers on Tumblr! So it's like a 50s-week for me right now. It's awesome. In keeping with that theme, this fic has exactly 50 lines of dialogue. (In hindsight, it's a little short, but it was never going to be anything big - I can't afford to spend time on something bigger *sadface*).
Anyway, this is dedicated to my 50 followers - who won't all read this, I know, but still. You guys surprised me, and I'm grateful for every one of you! ^_^
Sappiness over. Enjoy the fic!
Six Avengers, One Photo
"Hey, Cap, just in time – get over here, quick!"
"Tony, what's the problem? You said there was an emergency –"
"There was, we were having a photo taken and you weren't here, but now you are, so emergency over."
"What?"
"Ignore him, Steve, he's had too much coffee again."
"Oh."
"Bruce, no – this has nothing to do with coffee. We, the Avengers, have not yet had a team photo, and every team – be that sports teams, debating teams, or a company's miniature model team – has a team photo. Therefore, we need one, and we can't have one without you so get your star-spangled ass over here and participate."
"What exactly were you two doing last night?"
"I was trying to research ways in which gamma energy could be used to sustainably power the helicarrier. Tony was… talking. A lot."
"Well that isn't new."
"What was that Barton? I heard you tweeting."
"You didn't hear me tweet a thing, Stark."
"Ah – you're tweeting again. Now tell me, what was that about me talking not being new?"
"Thought you said you didn't hear him."
"Romanoff, as lovely as you are, please find a shred of kindness inside you and stay out of this. I know you two super-assassins have one of those unspeakable bonds of trust and friendship and other emotions one must not speak about in your presence, but this is between me and Birdbrain."
"Stark, you know what I said."
"So what? That's not the point."
"Tony, maybe you should leave it alone."
"Excuse me? Steve Rogers, the Brooklyn Boy who doesn't back down, is telling me to back down?"
"He's right, Tony – this is supposed to be a team picture. We don't need an argument to ruin it."
"Indeed, Stark. You and Barton are teammates, and this is a moment of team celebration. Why tarnish that notion with petty disputes?"
"Well, Thor, when you put it like that. Alright – JARVIS, how are we looking?"
"Rather scattered, sir. Perhaps you could arrange yourselves more appropriately for a group photograph?"
"We can do that. Right team?"
"Well it would help to know where the camera is."
"I thought super-spies saw everything."
"We can also break your little finger in at least thirty four different ways."
"She can. I'll just watch."
"You two scare me."
"I could call Heimdall to identify this image-taking device for us."
"Relax, Goldilocks, it's in the wall."
"Where?"
"Right there. JARVIS, blink or something so Steve can see you."
"I'm right here, Captain Rogers."
"Ah, I see. Thanks JARVIS."
"Okay, now let's arrange, people. Thor, you're big, you go in the middle. Barton, go next to him. Actually, no, Romanoff, you go next to him, we need to break up the blonde. Alright, if I go on Thor's other side, Bruce buddy you come in here, and Steve-o at the end. Is that everyone? That's everyone, right?"
"Nope."
"What?"
"We're missing someone."
"Who?"
"My bow."
"Uh, no, no you're not getting your –"
"And I am without Mjölnir!"
"Now wait a sec –"
"Should I get my shield?"
"No, we're not getting –"
"My Widow's Bites are in my bag."
"Leave them there please!"
"Uh, Tony, the Other Guy's getting kinda restless…"
"That's it – I'm calling Pepper!"