Star Wars Boneheads: Count Dooku's Soup Shop
By Hudson
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away….
One day a lone old man named Count Dooku was standing behind the counter of his Sith Soup shop when to Jedi walked in, master and apprentice. The master had long hair and a goatee while the apprentice had short, pulled back hair and a braid.
"Hello! How may I help you?" Count Dooku asked.
"We'll have two bowls of soup please," replied the apprentice, whose name was Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"I will get you that right away." He took a pot off the stove and removed two bowls from the cupboard. He took a spoon out of a long, skinny drawer and began to scoop soup into the bowls. "But I will forewarn you. If you are Jedi, you should never eat it because this soup is for Sith and you will have a very strong reaction."
They ignored Dooku's warning and received the bowls with gratitude.
"Are you, Jedi?" Dooku asked.
"Yes, indeed we are Jedi," replied the master, whose name was Qui-Gon Jinn.
"Gasp! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Dooku screamed. He ran towards a window and jumped, shattering the glass into tiny pieces.
"I wonder what that was about," Qui-Gon wondered aloud. "Oh well, at least I can enjoy some nice, soup." He sipped a little then dropped the spoon. He did a back flip and fell out the same window as Dooku.
"He must really like that soup," said Obi-wan. He picked up the spoon that Qui-Gon dropped and began to sip from his bowl. He took out a giant spoon from the counter of the shop and laid it down on the stone floor. He stood on the handle of the spoon and a giant hand hit the other end flinging him off and out the window, screaming. They ran down the field that stretched behind the restaurant.
Next time…
"Jar Jar!" screamed a fellow Gungan. Jar Jar had dropped the valuable set of dishes and now little specks of glass littered the ground. "You ought to go on trial if you mess with me again."
"Meesa sorry," replied Jar Jar in a sad tone.
Next story: the Phantom Menace in comedic extended version