Sorry I haven't posted in awhile... So, Hi again(: This is a short Sabriel fic cause I'. Obsessing over them lately. It is also posted on my new AO3 account that I'm trying to figure out how to use. Nothing new on there, just a new place to post my stuff(: So anyway, hope you enjoy it! Feedback is greatly aprecited as always 3
Sam walked through the dark house, throwing his jacket on the table before walking up the stairs, stopping in front of Dean and Cas' room to peek around the door. They were asleep, wrapped around each other peacefully, Cas turning around in his sleep to nestle his face in Dean's chest. Sam smiled to himself, whispering goodnight guys before quietly shutting the door and walking to his room. Once he reached his bed he fell face first onto the mattress, letting out a sigh before curling up on his side and pulling his pillow under his head in a clump.
"Sammy?" A small voice came from beside him. He didn't want to open his eyes, he knew that voice. That voice was usually soaked in sarcasm and knocked up with pride, but for some reason now it seemed unsure. He felt a hand softly stroke over his shoulder but he wasn't about to give in to it. He flinched away and buried his face further in the pillow, wondering if he'd just ignore him, he'd go away.
"What's wrong? Did you find my candy stash? I'll pay you back, honestly." The sarcasm was back and it made Sam smile slightly before slowly turning over to find the sandy haired angel staring down at him from where he was sitting cross-legged on the pillow, lip upturned in a smile when he saw Sam's face.
"Gabriel, please just be serious with me for like one night. You're never serious, you put everything off like it means nothing, but you know what? It means a lot to me." Sam argued, not meaning to start anything, but it's been itching at him all day. Gabriel's face fell, eyebrows knitting together, almost looking like he was hurt. But Gabriel doesn't gethurt, at least not the Gabriel he knew. Sam closed his eyes, resting his head back against the headboard, sighing frustratingly and regretting it even more. He felt the mattress shift slightly and blankets being pulled around him before soft lips met his and a small body curled against his side, practically laying on his chest. Sam wanted to just forget about everything that's been running through his mind all day, but he couldn't. Gabriel pulled back slightly from the tender kiss, leaning his forehead against Sam's and breathing in his exhale, their lips barely separated.
"I'm sorry Sammy. For everything. Anything I ever did, ever put you through. I'm sorry and that's all I can say to you even though it won't make anything better. Some things can't be forgotten, I know that. Trust me, I know. I'm not asking for your forgiveness Sam, I'm asking to help. Please-" Sam didn't dare open his eyes because he knew once he saw Gabe's face pleading he'd give in just like he has so many times before. He rolled over onto his side, back to Gabriel, sighing into his pillow. It didn't have to do with anything Gabe did in the past. It really didn't even have to do with the archangel himself. It had to do with Sam and Sam only.
"Sam?" Again he ignored him. They have had their share of fights that always ended within an hour over candy. But this shouldn't be considered a fight. This wasn't you stole my candy stash again or stop turning Cas into a kitten or Dean's gonna have a conniption fit, this was real and this hurt and this wasn't Gabriel's fault yet he was still trying to help. Sam didn't want help. He didn't deserve it.
"Sammy...?" Gabriel tried again and Sam felt his small hand play with the stands of his hair, more gentle than Sam has ever felt Gabriel touch him.
"Please Sammy. I was just trying to keep you-"
"I don't want to be saved, Gabe." It was true. Sam didn't. Why would he be? Just because he's screwed up like hell doesn't mean everyone he cares about should go down with him. Dean doesn't even know. Dean and Cas have been so happy lately, he almost forgot what Dean looked like without a smile plastered on his face. But if Dean ever found out that Sam's hallucinations are back, he'd lose it. All that happiness gone within a second and it will probably end up in the hunter and the fallen angel fighting over what to do and it'd just tear everyone apart. It'd tear their family apart. Gabriel was the only one who knew. He could sense how off Sam had been lately and pushed him into confessing. Now he was going to get his sarcastic ass killed because he's trying to save Sam just like Dean always has. Sam can't have someone else he loves die for him. Not anymore.
"You know, Sam, my brother doesn't even love you. He's just sticking around and pretending. He doesn't care about you. Listen to me. Let me in Sammy. Talk to me!" Sam's eyes shot open to see Lucifer sitting awkwardly on his nightstand, so close he could feel the ice of his breath. Sam backed away and almost rolled onto Gabriel, his breath quickening.
"Sammy? He's back, isn't he!?" Gabriel was pulling at Sam's shoulder, trying to roll him around to face him. Sam squinted his eyes shut tightly against the hallucination. Trying to block out all things Lucy and failing miserably.
"Come on Sammy. Don't fight it! We had so much fun together. Just you, me, the pit, oh and that scrawny half brother of yours that kept getting on my nerves. That's right Sam, remember him? You left family down there. He's getting tortured by my brother right now. I bet he's screaming..."
"STOP IT!" Sam didn't realize he yelled out loud until Gabriel used his angel strength to completely turn Sam over, small hands cupping Sam's face.
"Sammy, I'm here. I'm real. He's not. You hear me?! He's not real. Please Sam, please listen to me." Gabriel's eyes were red as though he was crying but no tears were falling. Sam closed his eyes again and kept them shut tightly as Gabe's hands rubbed soothingly over his cheeks and through his hair, whispering sweet nothings in an attempt to calm him down. But Sam didn't hear him, all he heard was Lucifer. The rage echoing in his head and hallucinations of the cage whenever he opened his eyes. The freezing cold of hellfire feeling like it was consuming him here in bed with Lucy's words echoing in his head, Sorry if it's a bit chilly. Most people think I burn hot, it's actually quite the opposite.
"Sammy, please..." Sam hasn't noticed how hard he was breathing until now, short screams coming from his throat but sounding far away. He heard the slamming of a door and a deeper, more authoritative voice ringing towards him, followed by a calm but worried one.
"Sammy?! Gabe what's... No Cas, he's back... What do we... Sammy come back now! Sam?! Sammy?!" Sam knew his brother's voice anywhere and he suddenly felt his heart sink to his feet. He hasn't meant to wake them up and now Dean and Cas would be sucked down with him just like Lucifer always made him see in his hallucinations. Not just him in hell. Also Cas. Scorched wings lining the pit wall as cold flames engulfed him, face dead and bloody, eyes unblinking. Dean was at his feet, same expression, blue flames flicking around him. Looking dead. Probably was. Then there was Gabriel... He couldn't even think of Gabriel.
"Sammy. Sammy we can help you. Please Sam... I love you." That was Gabriel's voice, so clear and so close he must be whispering in his ear. Sam heard a waver in his voice and suddenly felt warm tears rolling down his eyes and differentiating from the cold fire.
"Sammy Sammy Sammy Sammy... Oh poor Sammy, so broken." Lucy's singsong sounded further away as the feeling of fire started to fade. Sam knew if he yelled at Lucifer to go away, he'd be letting him in, proving he's real to him. Sam tried clearing his mind as best he could and tuned in on Gabe's calming voice.
"Just let him go. Let him go and come back to me. You'll be okay Sammy. I got you. You're okay."
Sam slowly allowed himself to open his eyes, the scene blurring into focus around him. Gabriel was sitting cross legged on the pillow next to him, his hands still cupping Sam's cheeks, tears streaming silently down his own cheeks. Dean was behind him, standing by the bed with Cas hiding behind him, hanging onto his shirt and looking white as a ghost. Everyone else had seen Sam's episodes at one point, but never Cas. And Castiel was one of the reasons this happened to him in the first place. He was the reason the wall in his mind broke. Dean had one hand clenching Sam's hand and another behind his back to comfort Cas. Gabe smiled slowly when Sam's eyes completely opened and leaned in to kiss his cheek gently.
"Thank you." Sam whispered and Gabe shrugged his shoulders, trying to be his usual self but not seeming all there.
"No problem. I can't let my moose go losing his mind when I still need to know where he hid my candy." Gabriel smiled wider but his eyes were dark and seeming somewhere else. Sam managed a short laugh that sounded pained and looked over to his brother who looked almost as white as Cas now.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, his voice unusually smaller than usual. Sam looked down at his hands.
"I didn't want to involve you. You and Cas have been so happy and... I missed seeing you happy." Cas moved a little closer to Dean and smiled sadly at Sam from behind his back. Dean was at a loss for words and his grip on Sam's hand, that had been cutting off his circulation, loosened. Gabriel looked at Sam sadly and starting fixing the pillows behind his head. Sam caught his hand and made him stop.
"Nah, Gabe, I don't feel like falling asleep at the moment."
"You need to sleep. I'll be right here the whole time, I don't have to sleep." Gabe tried to smile but his eyes still looked worried and dark. Dean tried to cut through the awkward tension in the room and made a gag sound, pretending like he was choking. Sam managed a laugh when he heard Cas chuckle quietly and saw the smile on Dean's face, they'll be okay, all of them. Everyone will turn out okay this time.
"How 'bout we watch a movie, kiddo. You can fall asleep watching it like you always do. What d'ya say? The Hangover? Part two?" Sam couldn't help but smile at that.
"Sure, Gabe. But let these two go back to bed. Just because your brother used to be an angel doesn't mean as a human he needs less sleep. He's probably exhausted." Cas had been leaning closer against Dean's back, his cheek resting against the hunter's shoulder, eyes drifting shut. Dean smiled at him even though he didn't have his eyes open to see him. Sam wondered if Cas ever noticed the way Dean looked at him.
"Thanks Sammy. If you have any problems tonight just come in my room like you used to when you were a kid. I'll scare the nightmares away" Dean said with a wink as he was walking out of the room, picking up Cas to cradle the sleeping former-angel in his arms like he was as light as a feather. Sam rolled his eyes and scoffed before turning back to Gabriel. The second the others were out of the room Gabriel dropped the fake sarcasm for once.
"You really worried me tonight... You were screaming. You may not remember but at one point you were seizing and I couldn't do anything, I don't know-" Sam pulled the small archangel into his arms and cut him off with a kiss.
"Lets save the movie for tomorrow." He murmured against Gabe's lips, hearing the smirk in his own voice. Gabriel smiled happily against him, arms curling around Sam's neck.
"Sounds good Sasquatch."