Shenny At The Movies: The Nutty Physicist
Rules:
1. One chapter long: yes
2. Up to 2500 words: it is EXACTLY that long.
3. Must be able to recognize the characters: I hope so!?
4. Deadline January 1st, 2016: boom done.
A/N: okay is here is my lame attempt at turning one of my characters into one of my favorite movies. If you've seen the original one with Jerry Lewis, you get it, some lines were ripped directly from the movie… the rest I had to move around to make it work with the canon of the show, characters and since it could only be so long. Hope I did it well. Hope it isn't too rushed. Hope you like it! (not Beta'd)
It had just started out as him not wanting to take any of his "friends" crap anymore. He knew he should be above this, not to bend to peer pressure. But they laughed at him and well. Screw it.
It's what brought him to this lab. He heard monkeys screeching, saw chemicals bubbling in a beaker. It would have been creepy had this not been normal. He sat on a stool waiting patiently as two woman in lab coats got something mixed together, one blonde and one brunette. He could have done this himself. But when he was told of the experimental drug, and after the ridicule he kept receiving, well he was more than ready to prove them wrong.
The blonde in the lab coat turned around. "Are you sure about this Sheldon?" she asked. Her voice was high, kind of like Minnie Mouse.
"You will be our first human test subject and while I'm thankful that you offered your body up… I worry about the lasting effects of the drug." The brunette had a monotone voice.
Sheldon shook his head. "I'm sure it'll be fine." He tried to sound confident, but his voice sounded scared.
"I mean I know Howie and the boys can be dicks… but that shouldn't be a reason to do this." The blonde said.
Sheldon huffed. "It's about more than that, Bernadette." He didn't want to elaborate much more. But his face twitched.
"I think there is a certain female involved." The brunette said in a whisper. Bernadette smiled knowingly.
"Amy! That's not… maybe it is why… but she just ignores me otherwise and then the guys keep harassing me and…" he was getting upset. He hadn't used to be like this. He had confidence and the attentions of the opposite sex were not necessary.
But then the Arctic happened, Steven Hawking happened (and he was passed over for another research mission to the North Sea.) he was a laughing stock at work and no one took him seriously. And then she had entered his life, messed with his schedule, disrupted his life, argued with him and absolutely infuriated him… and he never wanted someone in his life more than her.
He had gained enough courage one day to ask her out. He'd gone over to her place and she didn't think he was being serious. That hurt him a lot. He wasn't what she wanted apparently. He was 'the guy' he could be. But she'd only teased him and he left.
And then the Three Stooges had teased him about it, Kripkie teased him about it. He was done. He couldn't change on his own. He needed help.
Amy looked at Bernadette. "Okay, orange or cherry?" the blonde asked.
Sheldon furrowed his brow. "Orange," he replied.
Bernadette added something to a vile and then she handed the vile to Sheldon. "Drink it all the way down. Swallow it all and just sit and wait. I'm not sure how fast it kicks in." Bernadette said.
Sheldon took the vile, he could smell oranges. He looked up at both women. "To science." And he downed the contents.
"Oh! Almost forgot… it might be painful." Amy added quickly.
Sheldon looked at her. He didn't feel anything. And then the vile slipped from his hand, crashing to the ground, and he dropped to knees, face red.
The club was packed with people, all dancing synchronized with the music, lights flashed, booze flowed and everyone was having a good time.
Three men stood around a small table, each with a different drink in hand. Howard would smile and wink at a passing girl; Raj raised his eyebrows at one. Leonard looked angry.
"You're harshin' our mellow, dude." Raj slurred.
"Yeah… look at all of the honeys! Why are you so glum, chum?" Howard asked as he attempted to dance to the heavy bass Skrillex song.
Leonard huffed, "Penny." He replied bitterly.
Howard furrowed his brow. "what she reject you again?" Howard asked.
"yeah I mean you trick her one time into going out with you… you'd think she'd be begging to go out again." Raj said with a smirk.
"I asked her out and she said no!" Leonard finally said.
"So… we're rejected all the time." Raj pointed out with a shrug.
"But like… she is the love of my life, I saw her that first day. Our babies would be beautiful." Leonard sighed.
Howard shook his head. "That's creepy… and I know creepy," Howard said.
Raj nodded agreeing with him. "he does."
"It's not… I'll try again… I think I can do it." Leonard said. "She said there was someone else, but I don't think there is." Leonard said confidently.
"Well… you could try now… she's over there." Howard pointed across the sea of people to the bar. Leonard looked over and he was shocked.
There was Penny, sitting with some other girls, sipping her drink; she was laughing an enjoying herself. She looked breathtaking to him. Leonard stood up.
"I'll do it now!" Leonard said. He fixed his corduroy jacket and made sure his glasses were clean.
Raj and Howard gave him a thumbs up. "Go get her, tiger," Howard said.
Leonard took a step but then someone was suddenly standing in his ay. He looked up confused at the tall man. And his eyes went wide.
"Sheldon?!" he asked. Raj and Howard looked just as shocked as he was. Howard dropped his drink.
Sheldon stood before them wearing a suit that could only be described as something Daniel Craig as Bond would wear. It fit perfectly and was a silver gray. His tie was purple and he was wearing a pair of ray-bans. His hair was a little messy. He was standing fixing his dress shirt cufflinks. Moving his leg a little to the beat of the music. For a lack of a better word; Sheldon looked damn good.
"Dude! Whoa! You look awesome!" Raj said impressed.
"Yeah, I know. " Sheldon said, he was exuding confidence and while that wasn't rare for Dr. Cooper. This sort of confidence was almost alien. "Hey Leonard, could you be a pal and just not try and crash and burn with Penny for a second?" Sheldon asked.
Leonard blinked. "What?" he asked.
"Have a seat, I'll take it from here." Sheldon gave a smirk and wink (although his sunglasses blocked it, he added a little click with his tongue.) and he turned away from them and strutted to the beat of the music toward the bar.
Leonard stepped back to the table. "What just happened?!" he finally asked.
"I think Sheldon evolved into his final form." Howard replied. Although all three men were still stunned.
Sheldon walked up to the bar, acting all sorts of Daniel Craig as he walked towards her. And then he shifted just slightly so he could lean against the bar.
Penny's friends had danced off with some men and she was left alone. She looked over when this guy leaned against the bar. She raised an eyebrow, tall dark and handsome indeed. She watched him for a moment and then he removed his glasses and glanced at her.
Penny's jaw dropped. "Holy crap on a cracker. Sheldon?!" Penny said shocked. He winked at her as he set his sunglasses onto the bar. Before she could ask any more questions, Sheldon was motioning to the bartender.
"Hey barkeep, make me an Alaskan Polar Bear Heater." Sheldon demanded as he smacked the bar.
The bartender looked at him oddly. "Did you say a Polar Bear Heater?"
Sheldon scoffed. "No, YOU said it! I said an Alaskan Polar Bear Heater." His tone was every ounce of condescending.
Penny was still confused by what was going on before her. she just looked between Sheldon and the bartender as the exchange happened.
The bartender raised an eyebrow. "I never heard of that."
Sheldon smirked. "Until now." Sheldon smacked his hands together. "All right, pay attention."
The bartender pulled out his shaker and got ready to make the drink.
Sheldon was still casually leaning as he started to tell him how to make the drink. "Two shots of vodka, A little rum, some bitters... And a smidgen of vinegar. " Sheldon said as the bartender did as he was told.
The bartender was humoring him. He was pouring the last ingredient and then he stopped. "A smidgen of... Are you gonna drink this here or you're gonna take it home and rub it on your chest?"
Sheldon barked out a laugh. "Hey, that was terrific! Hey, did ya hear that, folks? A regular George Bernard Shaw. Good boy! And he did it all by himself. You did all by yourself and nobody helped you. That's terrific..." he gave the bartender a look again. Like he was telling the guy to shut the hell up.
The bartender was about to reply, but Sheldon cut him off.
"And with your very own big mouth! Now if you don't want this cocktail shaker to be a part of your gums, mix the drink, shut your mouth and pay attention. Is that clear? Repeat after me. I'll..." Sheldon ordered.
The bartender glared, but did as told. "I'll..."
Sheldon smiled. "I'll pay... attention." He spoke as if he were talking to a child.
The bartender ground out, "I'll pay attention."
"Good boy!" Sheldon smacked the guy on the shoulder.
Penny was really confused by Sheldon; she knew he could be demanding. But he was never this… he was never an utter asshole.
Sheldon rubbed his hands together, "All right, let's continue. A shot of vermouth. A shot of gin… A little brandy… Lemon peel. Orange peel." Sheldon paused as the guy did this. "Cherry."
The bartender was confused but did as told.
"Some more scotch." Sheldon said. "Now mix it nice and pour it into a tall glass."
The bartender did as told; he set it in front of Sheldon. "Hey, I've never tried one of these. Do you mind if I take a sip?" he asked. He had a straw in his hand.
Sheldon shrugged at the guy. "Be my guest."
The bartender used the straw to grab some and then he dropped it into his mouth. "Not bad." He was impressed. And then he passed out.
Penny jumped and peaked over the bar. "Okay Sheldon, what the hell is going on?!" Penny asked. She was mad at him for being a dick and just plain curious at how weird he was acting.
Sheldon put his hand up to stop her from talking as he gulped down the drink fast.
Penny's eyes got wide. "Are you going to-"
He finished it with a smack and didn't even move an inch as he slammed the glass back on the bar.
Sheldon looked her over; he sort of swaggered up to her. "Hey kitten. You uh… wanna get outta here. This place is filled with so many losers." When he said that, he glanced over at the table that had three familiar occupants at it. All three of which were watching this scene play out.
Penny saw where he was looking. "Yeah maybe you should leave." She finally said, she was ready to move out of his personal space. But he gently grabbed her arm.
"Just a minute, sweetheart. I don't recall dismissing you." Sheldon's tone was condescending and firm.
Penny was shocked. "You rude, discourteous egomaniac!" she wanted to say so much more. But his blue eyes were piercing and he was tall and his hand was warm on her arm. Damn her and her freaking libido…
Sheldon smirked. He had her. "You're crazy about me, right? And I can understand it. Only this morning, looking in the mirror before shaving, I enjoyed seeing what I saw so much I couldn't tear myself away." He kissed the back of his own hand and then reached his hand to her. "Have some, baby?"
Penny pulled from his grasp. "Sheldon, you're acting like a complete jackass. This isn't like you…" she said sounding hurt and upset and confused.
Sheldon wasn't smirking anymore. "I thought this is what you wanted, Penny…" he was now sounding angry.
Penny shook her head. "No… it's really not." and she turned and left.
Sheldon looked around the bar again, he saw some other girls watching him. They clearly wanted him. But he turned to leave.
"Hey, what about your tab!" a different bartender asked as he put ice on the first guys forehead.
"Put it on their tab." Sheldon barked back as he walked away. He pointed to the three confused scientists.
Sheldon had sunglasses on; he was curled up in his spot. He had thrown up three times already now. He just didn't want to move. Served him right. He remembered everything from the night before. He was a complete ass. He was ashamed and hurt a lot. Also Penny hated him now.
The last thing he had done was text Amy and let her know that it was a bad idea.
He hadn't seen Leonard all morning. Figured he had scored or was at least at Howard's place. It was god. He'd have to apologize to him when he saw him.
Sheldon rolled and ended up rolling off the couch and onto the floor. He groaned and sighed. He'd just stay there.
And then his front door opened. He groaned. He didn't want to talk to anyone.
He opened an eye and saw a familiar shoe… flip-flops… familiar toes…. He almost hit his head as he stood up from the carpet. Feeling dizzy he fell back into his pot.
He finally looked over and saw his neighbor; she had her arms crossed over her chest. She was dressed casually. "I just had the most interesting conversation with Amy and Bernadette," Penny said.
Sheldon furrowed his brow. "I see." He replied. His sunglasses had fallen off and so he was squinting at her. He looked terrible.
Penny nodded, "yeah, they told me that they had made this serum, that when ingested it altered ones personality. Made them more confident…" Penny looked at him. "Changed them for the worst."
Sheldon looked down. "I apologize… I shouldn't have… I only wanted you to…" Sheldon huffed; he was looking at his hands that were in his lap. He was startled when Penny sat down next to him, close.
"And then I was wondering why anyone would do that." she looked at him and he realized it was his turn to talk.
"Because, I'm not The Guy," Sheldon said honestly. His blue eyes were looking into her green ones.
Penny shook her head and Sheldon's heart broke again, he looked away and then her hand was soft against his cheek and then her lips were pressed to the corner of his mouth.
"Yeah… may have lied a little bit about that." Penny whispered.
Sheldon looked at her startled. But he couldn't think too much, because her lips were pressed to his again.
Fin.
Disclaimer: all recognizable characters and words are property of their original creators, that includes anyone from The Nutty Professor and The Big Bang Theory. This work nor the author do not have any affiliation with the tv show... if I did... shenny would be happening.