Author: hkpadfoot
Rating: PG
Summary: Sirius vows never to eat chocolate bunnies again. Third in the Happy Bunny Triology
A/N: Okay really, after this, I'm not writing any more Happy Bunny stuff. laughs madly Feedback is love
Story Time
"There once was a mountain on which it was rumored a great monster lived on. They say that once a year, every year, the monster came down from the mountain and demanded sacrifices, so that the rest of the year could be lived in peace. The villagers at the base of the mountain could not fight back—so afraid they were—so they did as they were told, crying as their loved ones made the dangerous trek up the mountain to be eaten by the carnivorous monster.
"One year, a band of travelers happened to be in town at the time of the monster's descent. It was the mayor's family who had been scheduled to go up the mountain, and he was unwilling to depart with them. Many villagers agreed with him, for his daughter was the fairest maiden and no one wished to see her part. She had always brought them such joy. Instead, the villagers tricked the travelers to go up the mountain to appease the monster.
"But one of the travelers had won the heart of the Mayor's daughter and she told the traveler of what lay ahead. He took her words to heart and he and his fellows pretended to go up the mountain, but they hid away, and with the help of the Mayor's daughter, made weapons and prepared other young people of the village, sick of the losses every year brought them.
"Soon the monster came down, demanding his sacrifice. The older villagers were scared, insisting that they had sent the sacrifice up already, and surely the monster had missed it. Outraged at the lies, for he had seen no soul traveling up his mountain, the monster started to destroy the village, roaring in rage and eating as many of the villagers he could get his large grubby hands on. The older villagers fell first, scattering and screaming, the younger ones were prepared.
"They gathered their arms and attacked the monster. Soon the other villagers found weapons and did the same. They fought the monster for three terrible days, filled with casualties and losses. Finally though, the monster stilled, and fell down, dead.
"The villagers were filled with joy. They celebrated for many days, and rebuilt their village. The Mayor's daughter and the traveler got married. And they lived happily ever after in the village of Chocolate Bunnies. The end."
Sirius lifted up slightly from the toilet and glared at Remus, who was sitting on the edge of the counter, grinning.
"That…was terrible," he rasped. Remus snorted.
"Much better then your stories," he replied. Sirius snorted.
"No it wasn't. It was terrible. You could've at least made it the Mayor's son," he mumbled, flushing the toilet. Remus grabbed a damp cool washcloth and slid off the counter, kneeling next to the pale Sirius and wiping his brow before wiping off the traces of carrots long past from Sirius' mouth.
"Homosexual Chocolate Easter Bunnies?" Remus asked with a snort.
"That's not too much of a stretch," Sirius replied with a shrug, leaning into Remus' touch. Remus snorted and stood back up, tossing the washcloth in the sink and casting a few spells at it to clean it thoroughly.
"Yes well, I could've added the real reason why the monster was conquered," he retorted. Sirius cocked an eyebrow at him. Remus grinned.
"Indigestion." Sirius groaned and leaned back over the toilet. Remus laughed and went to pull his friend's hair back, just in case he had anything left in him.
"Honestly Sirius, all that chocolate in one sitting just to get a prize you won't be able to enjoy, much less look at for at least another two months, what were you thinking?"
Rather than answering, Sirius retched up the remains of all the chocolate Easter Bunnies that had to endure his wrath over the last weekend while making a silent promise to never eat chocolate again.