Written as a challenge for the IB-novel on panhistoria.
Intro – La Lousiane (Afterlife version) – Night
(Italics- Two children singing in the background)
I'm superior, you're inferior.
I'm the big attraction, you're the small.
I'm the major one, you're the minor one.
Anything you can do, I can do better.
I can do anything better than you.
No you can't!
Yes I can!
No you can't!
Yes I can!
No you can't!
Yes I can!
Yes I can!
The sound of children singing slowly fades into the background as we decent the spiral staircase and end up inside the basement tavern, La Lousiane. There is an eerie red glow cast over the rough walls as if the place was on fire itself. The ceiling is very low and the wooden bar is off to the right as we enter. The room is void of sound and enhances the eerie feeling in double. The small space is filled with two large tables; one of them is completely filled with drunken Nazi's celebrating, the other is empty save one person.
Sergeant Hugo Stiglitz. dressed in standard Nazi Officer uniform of a grayish green color. The stripes and medals on his uniform belonged to a now dead man. The typical blank expression is on his face is as the cold blue eyes that glance across the room. On the table next to him stands a full bottle of Jack Daniels along with two empty glasses. The chair on the other side of the table is shifted so that it seems he is waiting for someone.
The bottle of whiskey is lifted and gracefully the Sergeant pours the golden liquid into the two glasses before him. He holds up the glass to the other side of the room. There, almost half hidden in the small back room stands Major Dieter Hellstrom, dressed in the black and brown Gestapo uniform, adorned with plenty of medals for someone as young as he is. The Sergeant uses the whiskey glass and gives the Major a mock salute. His face remains as void of emotions as it has always been.
The green eyes of the Major look at the Sergeant and delicate eyebrows raise when the gesture is made. The Sergeant downs the entire glass in one go, without blinking. His cold blue eyes continue to focus up on the Major, his own eyebrows lifting as if issuing a challenge. The empty glass is then placed upon the table with a sharp thud and he shoves the remaining filled glass towards the Major as an open invitation to join him at the table.
I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker.
I can do it quicker and get even sicker.
No you can't!
Yes I can!
No you can't!
Yes I can!
No you can't!
Yes I can!
Yes I can!
Heavy leather boots echo trough the basement room as the Major walks towards the table in sure strides. In his hands he holds a boot shaped beer glass which he raises in return to the Sergeant. He sits down at the table facing the other German. The blond Major drains the large glass and gives the Sergeant an all-knowing smile that holds its own challenge. The Sergeant narrows his blue eyes until they are slits and he meets the gaze and intensity of his challenger. He pushes the glass of whiskey to the side and picks up the bottle without taking his eyes of the other man. He unscrews the cap before casually tossing it over his shoulder and gives the man a smirk. He places the bottle to his lips and continues to drink until the bottle is completely empty. The Major looks at him with a look of disbelief on his face. The empty bottle is then placed back onto the table, the Sergeant looks at the Major licking his lips before flashing him a predatory smile. The Major's hand then reaches for the empty bottle before he, too, tosses it somewhere behind him where it shattered against a wall, the glass pieces making its characteristic sound as they fall to pieces on to the impeccably scrubbed stone floor of the tavern.
Anything you can be I can be greater.
sooner or later, I'm greater than you.
No you're not!
Yes I am!
No you're not!
Yes I am!
No you're not!
Yes I am!
Yes I am!
A slightly annoyed look crosses the Major's face as he reaches into his uniform jacket and pulls out a small newspaper clipping. He places it onto the table with a grin as the Sergeant picks it up and reads it. The small bit of newsprint talks about the brave young Dieter Hellstrom and how he even at this young age is promoted to the rank of Major within the Gestapo and what a brilliant future lay ahead of him. The Sergeant gives a casual shrug of his shoulders as he produces an entire newspaper out of his back pocket and slams it down onto the table. It is the edition that made Hugo Stiglitz an instant celebrity amongst every German soldier within the Third Reich. The Major looks a little uncomfortable as he shifts in his chair. Looking down at the newspaper on the table before looking back up again at the Sargent. It is clear that he is trying to look not at all impressed, but his eyes still shine with worry nonetheless.
Anything you can reach, I can go higher.
I can sing anything higher than you.
No you can't!
Yes I can!
No you can't!
Yes I can!
No you can't!
Yes I can!
Yes I can!
Now it is the Major who makes the next challenge. He rises gracefully from his chair and turns it backward in relation to the table. He then turns to face the wall and unbuttons his trousers before urinating against the wall. The Sergeant follows the Major's movements, and before long he steps alongside the Major, his trousers now also unbuttoned. It is obvious that this has turned into a game of aiming for the highest point on the wall before you run out of water. The Major smirks as he manages to aim higher than the Sergeant once he's finished. However, rather than seeing the scowl which he expected to find, the Sergeant laughs loudly. He looks down at the Major and then at himself. The Major clears his throat at the obvious difference between them and the Major quickly tucks himself back into his uniform trousers.
Any note you can hold I can hold longer.
I can hold any note longer than you.
No you can't!
Yes I can!
No you can't!
Yes I can!
No you can't!
Yes I can!
Yes I can!
Now both men come to stand next to the table. The Major lifts his foot so it is placed against the edge of the table. He lifts up his right pants leg and shows a tiny swastika tattoo on his right calf. The Sergeant then takes of his jacket and blouse and places them upon the wooden table. Before showing the letters which Matthias had tattooed on his right biceps. Now it is the Majors turn to strip as he takes of his jacket, blouse and undershirt and shows the small puckered scar on his abdomen. The Major's green eyes lift up, staring at the Sergeant who simply responds by turning around and taking off his own undershirt. He shows the Major the large array of scars that cover the entire muscular expanse of his back.
The Major looks slightly uncomfortable as he sinks back down onto his chair. It seems that the winner is clear. Both men stare at each other for awhile. The tension grows in the room. As the large group of Nazi's appear to slowly disappear out of focus behind the Major. There is a sudden warmth that is overwhelming and the smell of brimstone increases.
Anything you can sing, I can sing Louder.
I can sing anything louder than you!
No you can't!
Yes I can!
No you can't!
Yes I can!
No you can't!
Yes I can!
Yes I can!
Then, in a flash the Major pulls out his Walther and holds it up in the direction of the Sergeant who in turn pulls out the large S.S. Dagger. A fire seems to ignite in both pairs of eyes. The Major fires first as the Sergeant approaches him. The bullet only serves to deter the Sergeant for a moment and he jumps onto the Major and starts stabbing the man in the head with his dagger. Blood spatters fly around the pair as the Major gets in one more shot before he sinks back into his chair - dead. The Sergeant continues his onslaught on the man not realizing or caring that the man is already dead. When at last he runs out of energy he stumbles back to the chair he was seated in before it all started and picks up the remaining glass of whiskey. With a satisfied grin on his face, he salutes the bloody mess of pulp that used to be Major Dieter Hellstrom.
Yeess I Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaann!