A/N : I heard this song for the first time recently and felt inspired enough to do a Quick (ha!) piece. This is a Futurefic. Oh and I will be updating my other one too soon, just having a major lack of muse with it and booze isn't coaxing it out. Damn show is making me a little angry, I think, hehe.
Disclaimer : Not mine, never has been, never will be. Either Glee or Lady Antebellum.
Friday night and I'm alone, debating whether or not opening the liquor cabinet, given Charlotte is at Mrs Puckerman's with Rebekah, I look around the apartment, and wonder if I'll ever get it cleaned. Toys spilling out of the toy box in the corner of the living room, that guitar in another corner, neglected, and in another, all the copious dog accessories Brittany gave us, along with the damned dog, Betsy who's chewed almost all of them, not counting all the hair she's left everywhere.
If I get this done, I'll make myself a pitcher of margaritas. I deserve it, it's been a long week ferrying Lottie to school, ballet and gymnastics as well as work plus limes were on special offer at the store but no Judy impersonations. She's out of my life and I'm not going to try to replicate her, nor her mistakes. Maybe I'll even go crazy and order a pizza with extra cheese and pepperoni, whilst watching some dreadful TV.
Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
Sugar, sugar, sugar and sugar again. I may have drunk the pitcher a little too quickly and not eaten enough pizza as attempting to stand up is proving near impossible. Maybe sliding onto the floor from the settee will work? Yep, it did but now I've knocked something over, what though?
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
Shit, a picture of Puck and I kissing with Lottie pulling a face in the foreground. Rachel took it a couple of years ago when she and Finn came back to announce her pregnancy. We had a massive Glee club reunion and everyone showed up, which surprised me really. Even Emma and Will came and brought their kids, Lucas and Cathleen, along. They're a couple for the ages, if ever there was one.
That thought's depressing, especially as it took Puck and I so long to truly come together, properly with no hindrance or dithering from either side. I really thought we'd make it, just like the Schuesters did once we talked through the demons and bad blood on both sides. I even lost Santana's friendship for him, which to this day I don't regret, as I made it deadly clear she wasn't going to split us up again. Christ, even Rachel and Finn encouraged us and lord knows, they had many a right to shun us both.
The phone looks mighty inviting though right now. Maybe he's still awake and won't mind me going back on my adamant declaration that I never want to speak to him ever again. Apart from civil conversations in front of Lottie of course, she doesn't deserve or need her parents being nasty to each other.
His number is just there and all I have to do is press the call buttton....
Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
Santana sent me a text earlier asking if I fancied coming around to "keep her company" because Brittany had gone out of town with her parents and siblings to see her ailing grandpa. Aside from the fact I just don't fancy her any more, and haven't done so since I was 16, I've learnt the lesson that you just don't get involved with people who have partners.
Don't get me wrong, of all the mistakes I've made in my life and boy the list is long, drunkenly hooking up with Quinn behind Finn's back will never be one of them. For one, it gave me the most beautiful daughter, who is the perfect blend of Quinn and I, and two, because I love that infuriating woman with all my heart and the women I've slept with before and after her don't compare and never can.
Her living with in the joyous Puckerman household towards the end of her pregnancy was one of the best periods of my life, despite my protestations otherwise. She mellowed out a bit, despite the popularity dip and my mum refusing to have bacon in the house. Mum used the excuse it's because we're Jewish but it's more to do with the fact she can't stop herself from eating a whole packet by herself. Instead we had a daily breakfast date for McDonalds before school where we each had Bacon, Egg & Cheese McGriddles. Not the healthiest thing but she said baby needed it and who was I to argue?
When she went into labour, of course right after we'd preformed at Regionals, I was there for every step and moment of it. After seven hours of labour, Charlotte Annabella Fabray Puckerman was born, all fingers and toes in place with the blondest curls I've ever seen on a baby. Once the nurse took her out to weigh etc., Quinn told me she wasn't going to go through with adoption, the relief and joy was immediate and I kissed her, hair in place or not be damned.
Obviously we struggled but my mum was good to us all and we worked out a routine that after some kinks were ironed out became like clockwork. We even managed to make Glee practice work in this routine and Lottie became our unofficial mascot. The other members became the best support network and we had more kiddie outfits than even Lottie could wear. Kurt certainly made his best efforts to make a fashionista out of her.
After two years, we managed to save enough money for an apartment with two bedrooms and no damp anywhere. Since Lottie's birth, Quinn had been immensely hard on herself with both her popularity and figure but after much help from Ms Pillsbury, oops Mrs Schuester, and she realised that she respected her body for bearing a baby and might always be slightly softer in the abs department than she wanted but it was for a good cause.
We even started talking about being in a genuine relationship together and even with my penchant for fucking things up, we managed it and it was the happiest I've ever been to this day. If only I could get that feeling back.
Why am I thinking about this now? Stupid Jack Daniels sitting there, tempting me to drown my sorrows. I can't even play my guitar seeing it's still at home. My mistake, it's not home. Not to me any more. I really screwed up. You'd think I'd learn by now but everything now reminds me of her. I'm sitting here on a battered couch in Mike's basement, on a Friday night, thinking of my baby's mama and how bittersweet life is but I can't quit her, try as I might.
Shit, my phone is ringing. It's after 1am, who could this be? I hope Rebekah's ok with Lottie and it's not a call to head to the hospital. I don't think I could cope if anything happens to the light of my life.
"Quinn? What's wrong? Is everything ok? Has something happened to Lottie? Put me out of my misery."
"Yes Puck, it's me. I miss you terribly and want you to come home."
"Huh? Are you serious? After everything that's gone on with us? What about Lottie?"
"Lottie will be delighted and you know it. Besides, we need to work on getting her a sibling finally. We don't want a Rachel Hudson on our hands, do we? Come home, Puck, please. I love you."
"But Quinn, what if it doesn't work out?" "We'll work it out, just trust in us. Call a cab and get that cute arse of yours here."
"Are you objectifying me, Quinn? I thought that wasn't allowed any more. I'm not sure I appreciate you suggesting my bum is all I've got going for me." "Noah Elijah Puckerman, get here within the next fifteen minutes and I'll show you objectif...objectifica..ah you know the word I mean."
"Have you been drinking, Ms Fabray?" "Just a little, now stop dawdling and call the cab company."
"Yes dear."
Maybe life doesn't suck entirely. Better call that cab company. I've missed her and I'm gonna make it up to everyone, especially Lottie, Quinn and myself. Maybe wiping these tears off is a good place to start.
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.
Maybe fairy tales don't come true. Maybe life is twisted, bitterly disappointing and imperfect but trying to make Puck and I perfect was never going to work. I'm not, he's not, together we're not and I'll be happy when he gets here to carry our fucked up imperfections.
A/N 2 : I'm open to extending this further, if anyone's interested? Do let me know.