Title: Her Own Rules
Rating: T
Spoilers: Up to and including 1x10 "Big Nickel"
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it... Damn
Summary: Post 1x10. Ever since her very first day on the job Andy McNally had felt like she was on a roller coaster speeding out of control. Flying helplessly through the air while she tried to follow the rules that everyone threw at her. Now it was time to get her feet back on the ground; time to make some rules of her own.
A/N: This is my take on the fact that neither Luke nor Andy looked particularly happy after their little kiss at the end of Big Nickel. I don't think Luke's a bad guy, he's actually quite adorable... But he's just not right for Andy, and I think she's starting to realize that.

Her Own Rules

Andy stood rooted to the spot, but her mind was travelling a mile a minute. Luke had forgiven her for the 'almost-night' with Sam, so why wasn't she happy? Why hadn't his kiss made her forget everything and melt into his arms like it used to?

There was something there in the back of her mind. That nagging feeling, but Andy couldn't quite put her finger on it until she remembered Luke's words.

"Ran into your friend Swarek..."

And then it hit her like a ton of bricks.

Sam.

"So, what did Sam say to you?" she asked. Andy knew that everything Sam had said about Luke was true; he really did look at the facts without being judgmental. But despite that, she also knew that twenty-four hours wouldn't have been enough to change his mind about her innocence; Luke was much more calculated than that.

So the only logical explanation for Luke's new found forgiveness was that Sam must have said something.

"He said that nothing happened," Luke explained, plastering an apologetic smile across his face. "That he tried something but you shot him down. He told me I was an idiot and not to screw this up." Running a hand through his hair, Luke let out a sigh. "I should have just believed you in the first place, Andy. I'm sorry."

No matter how strong the urge to throw herself into his arms and forget that the entire messy situation had happened was, Andy resisted. In fact, she could actually feel herself getting angry at him. He hadn't even considered believing her when she told him nothing had happened with Sam. But now that Sam had apparently gone in and lied straight to Luke's face, suddenly all was forgiven and forgotten.

"That's right," she huffed, "You should have."

"So...are we okay?" he asked, eyes searching hers for a glimpse of hope.

"No, Luke," she sighed, looking away, "I don't think we are..." For a few moments Andy closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. She needed to say this right; she needed Luke to understand what she was feeling.

"What do you mean?" the slight shake in the usually calm detective's voice let Andy know that he was nervous about her answer. The simple fact that he wasn't trying to use his detective tactics on her again gave Andy the courage she needed to continue.

"I'm an honest person, Luke," she began. "You told me that was one of my virtues. It's why I make a bad hooker...it's why people ask me for advice; they know I'm not going to lie to them. And that's why I'm not going to lie to you."

Luke didn't speak, but Andy could see him bracing himself for whatever was coming next.

"Sam didn't try anything that night. I went to his house, I'm the one who initiated it. I hurt him and he's the one lying to you so that I can be happy." Andy rolled her eyes then. She couldn't even imagine Sam going to talk to Luke after everything that had happened. And if she was honest with herself, she wasn't sure that she was all that glad he had done it.

"Andy," Luke began, but she quickly cut him off.

"Please Luke," she begged, "I need to get this out." Andy knew that the words coming from her mouth might very well be the end of her relationship with Luke, but they had to be said. "Sam and I are barely even friends now thanks to me. But he still trusts me when I tell him something. He still cares about whether or not I'm happy−which is why he came to talk to you I suppose. He keeps trying to look out for me and that's what got us into this whole mess in the first place. Him being there for me when you weren't."

"So this is my fault?" exclaimed Luke. Andy could tell he was starting to get upset and she couldn't blame him. He thought she was trying to pin everything on him; an idea that couldn't have been further from the truth. "You go running to him, while you're dating me, and I'm the one to blame?"

"It's your fault for not believing me..." she explained. "And it's your fault for walking out and not talking to me for days... But this," she motioned between their two bodies, "this isn't your fault. It's nobody's fault really. I know you care about me, Luke, and I care about you. I'm just not sure if that's enough anymore..."

"How can it not be enough if we both care?" Luke was trying to understand, she could tell.

"If it was just Sam and my feelings...or whatever...for him, then we could work this out. But it's not just that Luke." Reaching up, Andy quickly wiped at the tears which were starting to make their way down her cheeks.

"What is it then?"

"You're married to your job Luke," Andy sighed, "it's always going to come first. And I get that...it's what makes you a good detective. But like you said, this job−this life−is something you have to get used to."

"It is," Luke confirmed, "it's not easy but eventually things start making sense."

"But that's just it," she pointed out, "things haven't clicked for me. I'm not used to this. And until I am, I don't think I can deal with being second."

"Surprisingly enough," he admitted, "I get it." Then, seeing the wave of relief that washed over his companion's face he added: "Doesn't mean I'm happy about it or that I think it's the right choice."

"I'm not asking for you to accept it," Andy clarified. "I'm just asking you to respect that it's my decision. I know this isn't what you want. But right now I need time. I need to figure out what my role is here...where I fit in...what I want."

"This isn't your way of telling me that you're running to Swarek is it?" Luke questioned, his tone leaving no doubt in Andy's mind just exactly what he thought of that idea.

"I don't have any plans to run back to anyone!" she exclaimed. "This isn't me trying to get you out of the way. This is just me needing to put myself first for once. I'm not happy Luke, I haven't been for a while and I need to figure out why."

"I understand," once again the anger was gone from his voice and replaced by a sort of sad recognition. "I want you to be happy Andy, even if it's not with me." He looked away then, and Andy assumed it was because he didn't want her to see him vulnerable.

"Maybe you're it for me Luke," she began, raising her hand to rest on his cheek so that he'd look her in the eyes again. "Maybe Sam is... But I want you to know that when it's all said and done, it's going to be what's best for me; it's going to be what makes me happy."

"That's all I want," he confirmed.

"I know, Luke."

"Well," Luke straightened, forcing a smile back to his face, "my door is always open Officer McNally." He extended his hand and she accepted the gesture, shaking briefly on their mutual agreement before leaning in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before plastering a smile on her own face.

"Have a nice night, Detective Callaghan." With that she turned and made her way down the street towards home.

Ever since her first day on the job Andy McNally had felt like she was on a roller coaster speeding out of control. She had been flying helplessly through the air while she tried to follow the rules that everyone threw at her; what to do, who to trust, who to like... Now it was time to get her feet back on the ground; time to make some rules of her own.

So what do you think guys? Because its 100% up to you if I continue this or not.