Before you start reading, a small warning; this was written at just after midnight last night, at my friend's house, under the influence of alcohol and after watching that heart-wrenching episode. Also the first 5 words were a prompt challenge from my friend and I had to carry it on xD
I've read through it but it's still not perfect (but I'm too tired to edit it now). I hope you like it anyway and as always- reviews are welcomed! -Sophie x
The last part of my life that I could remember were the tears. They were hot, burning silvery trails as they ebbed down my cheeks and landed with finality to the floor of my office. It was the day my life came crashing down.
It was the day Jacob Masters kissed me.
…
"This is Roxanne, stab wound to the back with a pair of scissors." Cal reeled off her stats, looking up as Connie approached the bed. Her face seemed to falter slightly as she took in the sight that unfolded in front of her. The raspy breaths, the sheer helplessness of the poor unconscious girl and the blood.
There was always blood; sticky, crimson and metallic.
"She's going into VF!" Cal called urgently, grabbing the defibrillator from behind him and tearing the girl's shirt open. Connie was jolted into action, something drove her to brush away the unnerving feeling that seemed to prickle her skin and set her teeth on edge. She pulled the stool to the girl's side and began compressions.
"Come on Roxanne." The woman whispered, strands of hair freeing themselves from the grip of her hair bobble. They tickled her face but she barely noticed; all her attention was on the job at hand. She looked at the still face of the young girl, moving only due to her compressions, and she felt her heart tug.
She must only be around 14, Connie thought, closing her eyes before straightening up.
"Pulse check?"
Rita shook her head and the brunette started again with all her strength. After 7 cycles Connie was breathless and exhausted, but she refused to give up until she got an output.
"She's been down for 34 minutes now. I think it's time we let her go." Rita said gently.
"No."
"But-"
"I said no Miss Freeman." The woman said sharply. The nurse shot a pleading look to Cal but he just shrugged his shoulders.
"Connie. It's time to stop."
Despite all her effort to contain her feelings, the woman felt her bottom lip begin to shake. Her vision blurred as she stood down and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.
"There wasn't anything else we could do, you know that." The blonde nurse tried to offer some consolation but Connie just bit her lip and clenched her fists.
"She was barely older than Grace." Her voice shook uncontrollably as she glared at her colleague before walking away.
…
After the day Jacob had had, he was ready to go to the pub, get royally smashed and pull a sickie tomorrow. It had been a tough introduction to the ED and today had been a real eye opener to the true characters of his workplace. And his revelations were not going to stop there.
"Hey Mrs B. Coming for a drink?" He called to the figure through the doorway to her office. She was facing the wall with her back to him and she made no effort to move.
"Hey! Mrs Bow-champ!" He grinned, though that grin faded when he realised she was taking no notice. Instead of leaving her he moved into the office, going over to where she stood. As he neared, he realised she was shaking and dabbing at her cheeks with a wrinkled tissue. Slightly taken aback, the nurse went back and shut the door before reaching for her shoulder.
"Hey. Talk to me." He was genuinely concerned, and Connie smiled slightly. Her hand trailed along her collar bone until her fingers brushed his. She came to rest there, his hand warm beneath her touch.
Connie's voice was barely audible as she sniffled slightly. "I should have done more to save her."
"Roxanne? There was nothing else you could do, surely you know that?"
The woman sighed, frustrated and went to sit on the couch. She crossed her legs and rested her head on her hand, suddenly too tired to do much else. The nurse sat beside her, looking his boss up and down.
"I didn't think people like you got affected by stuff like this."
"People like me?" She raised an eyebrow. "What exactly do you mean by that."
"You're a clinical lead. The Mrs Beauchamp of all people. You must see things like this all the time! Why has this one beat you up so much?"
"None of your business Staff Nurse Masters." She muttered.
"Look, I might be a newbie around here but I know how people work-"
"But you don't!" Connie snapped, turning to face him straight on. "You don't know Jacob- you go round laughing and joking and just pretending like you know, when really you haven't a clue."
Her eyes sparkled under the light above them, pleading with him to take in what she was saying.
"I am not all that you think I am. I'm a failed mother, ruthless boss and a terrible friend. I could have killed the life and soul of this department back there; I could have saved Roxanne, I could have taken better care of my daughter. I could have, could have could have that's all my life has become."
The woman buried her head in her hands, unable to stop the tears. Jacob tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder, finding it thin and unstable.
"I had no idea." He said as if in disbelief. "That you had a daughter or, or any of that. You're a mystery lady Mrs B. I'd like to find out more about you."
She looked up slightly.
"What?"
"You heard me. I'd like to know more."
Connie thought for a few moments but ended up shaking her head.
"No Jacob, no I'm sorry-"
"-hey not right now." He interrupted her, standing up and reaching out a hand. "Can I take you out for dinner?"
His boss blinked. "Excuse me?"
"I said can I take you out for dinner?" He repeated.
Connie wasn't all that surprised but the question caught her off guard.
"Oh I um, I- I don't know." She said uncertainly, "I mean- maybe it's a little too soon. It's been a rough day, I wouldn't want to be eating lavish dinners whilst my staff are so ill, it wouldn't feel right at all, even for me."
"Hey, who said anything about lavish?" Jacob grinned.
Connie laughed slightly, her smile widening as the nurse mirrored her expression.
"So… Is that a yes?"
Giving in, the woman nodded and allowed the man to help her to her feet.
…
Jacob took her to a small Italian restaurant on the outskirts of Holby. They dined by the window overlooking the city, each streetlamp and home light shimmering through the dark. They stood together waiting for their taxi just in front of the door, each breath soon becoming visible as the temperature dropped.
"Here." The nurse removed his coat and placed it over Connie's petite shoulders. "There's no meat on your bones, you must freeze in this weather."
"I've survived until now and I'm sure I'll survive for a while too yet." She smiled softly. "I've had a lovely evening."
"We both needed it after the day we've had." He admitted, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. They both knew he was dong it, and Connie tried so hard not to laugh; but to no avail. The alcohol she had consumed had made her relax, and she ended up giggling to herself.
"You have a beautiful smile you know Mrs B." Jacob said, tilting her chin up slightly. "You should let it show more often."
"Thank you." She looked to him, eyes searching to meet his gaze. "And call me Connie." Her voice dropped to a whisper as the nurse moved closer and eventually dipped his head for a kiss.
Their lips collided and the clinical lead immediately felt the spark between them. Jacob evidently had too, and they got so enthralled that neither of them realised that Connie's feet were no longer touching the ground. They only broke apart, with red cheeks and beaming smiles, when the taxi drew up and beeped his horn.
As they climbed into the car, Connie knew then that this would be no ordinary night. Everything she had worked for, the whole "ice queen" façade she spent so long hiding behind was gone, destroyed in the matter of just a few hours, and instead replaced by a soft hearted woman who was head over heels in love.
And for the first time in her life, Connie had no regrets as she sped away into the night, her hand clasped firmly between Jacob's; and she didn't want things any other way.