Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate (anything involving it). No infringement intended.
A/N: After my first SGA story, I kinda got really into this fandom. I'm actually working on a few other SGA stories, but they're multi chapter so it'll probably be a while before I post cause I want to finish them first. This story was actually inspired by a oneshot I started (that is turning out to be a lot longer than I had anticipated), but I fell in love with writing the interactions between these three guys. If you read my other SGA story, you know I love O'Neill/Sheppard interactions, but when I threw Daniel in as well, it was too much fun. :)
This takes place after The Siege but before The Intruder for SGA, and after Landry takes over the SGC but before Avalon for SG1; right after the Atlantis people come back to Earth for the first time. Enjoy!
Breathe
The SGC had been a buzz of excitement since the senior members of the expedition had returned to Earth. Daniel himself had been going over all of the information they had sent back in the data burst prior to the wraith siege. He would've loved to have been able to sit down with Elizabeth and talk more, but she — like the rest of the senior staff — had been in meetings with the IOA and military leaders almost constantly since arriving. The consolation was he would have plenty of time to talk with her aboard the Daedalus on the return to Atlantis — provided nothing thwarted him from going this time.
He was absorbed in the report he was currently reading and almost walked into the airmen moving a crate of supplies. Thankfully, most people at the SGC were aware of his habits, and a passing sergeant had grabbed his arm to pull him up short before the collision.
Nodding his thanks, Daniel finally looked up to take in his surrounds. When he did, he paused. Making a snap decision, he waved, "Major Sheppard." to get the man's attention as he made his way down the hall to him.
The major paused and did a quick double take as he noticed the archaeologist. "Doctor Jackson," Sheppard greeted with a nod, forcing a smile that only reaffirmed Daniel's initial assessment.
"Hey, I'm glad I caught you," Daniel returned, ignoring the looks from everyone passing by. "I had something I wanted to show you actually. Come with me." He motioned for the major to follow, which he did with only a somewhat wary glance around first.
Once they reached his office, Daniel shut the door behind them, and ignored Sheppard's curious eyes following him as he grabbed a water bottle and handed it to the man. "You look like you could use a break," Daniel shrugged by way of explanation.
With something between a huff and a sigh, Sheppard managed a small, grateful smile as he took the water. "Thanks."
Daniel nodded, and went over to his table filled with books and paper printouts of reports where he'd been doing his own research about some of the things the expedition had found.
They were both silent; Sheppard sipped the water as he sat on a stool and was almost but not quite leaning back against the shelves on the wall, and Daniel turned his attention to his research. Though a few minutes later, Daniel did look up at the other man and do another assessment. In the hallway, Sheppard had looked overwhelmed and lost — which wasn't surprising considering he'd been stuck in back to back meetings for the past week and the only other time he'd been in the mountain was right before the expedition had left a year ago. Now — in the privacy of Daniel's office, and without IOA representatives and high-ranking military officers breathing down his neck — the man looked wrung out; he was pale, a little shaky, and — if the dark circles under his eyes were any indication — exhausted. Daniel wasn't surprised; of all the personnel that had returned, Sheppard was the only one being thrown under the bus. It wasn't right, in Daniel's opinion, because as far as he was concerned, from all the reports he'd read, it seemed like without Sheppard and McKay — which irked Daniel somewhat to admit — the expedition wouldn't have survived. But Daniel also had a clearer understanding of how the military thought after working with them for so long, and he knew that, except for Jack, none of the high-ranking officers that had been grilling the major had a favorable opinion of him. Daniel knew they hadn't even wanted Sheppard on the expedition in the first place; Jack had told him that if it hadn't been for the major's gene and Weir's insistence, the man would've never left Antarctica — though Daniel secretly thought that Jack would've managed to get him transferred to the SGC under his command. There was also the fact that Sheppard had been the one to fire the shot that killed Colonel Sumner within the first forty-eight hours of the expedition. Not to mention he'd defied Weir's orders as well during a quarantine situation. Daniel had read the reports, and he'd heard people talking. From Jack's ranting after the data burst, Daniel had gathered that if his friend hadn't bluntly and brutally explained field command decisions like the one Sheppard had made, then Colonel Everett would've probably gotten his wish and gone to Atlantis with orders to take the major into custody. Honestly, Daniel still wasn't sure that a court martial wasn't in Sheppard's future, but the state of Colonel Everett when he returned after having been fed on by a wraith, and his own admittance of understanding Sheppard's decision to shoot Sumner, seemed to have made people pause and think — or so Daniel hoped. Daniel wanted to go to Atlantis, and he knew he — and Jack, who still wanted to keep him in the Milky Way — would feel much better if Sheppard were returning as well. But he was also aware enough that he knew the major was fighting an uphill battle in that regard — something Sheppard seemed acutely aware of.
"So what is all this stuff?"
"Huh?" Daniel looked back up at Sheppard's question, momentarily disoriented as he forced his mind out of his research and musings and back into the present.
"You got a lot of stuff," the major quipped, gesturing to the archaeologist's overflowing workspace.
Daniel gave a half-nod, half-shrug of agreement as he mentally noted that Sheppard had an undercurrent of nervous energy that was preventing him from relaxing. "Well, actually, uh, a lot of this is reports from Atlantis," he commented, motioning to some of the papers. "The rest is my own research and notes on the Ancients."
Sheppard nodded, a rueful ghost of a smile playing on his lips.
"I'd love to discuss some of the discoveries you made," Daniel admitted, and then gave the man an understanding smile as he added, "But I figured you've been doing enough of that lately."
Wagging his brow in wry agreement, the major replied, "At least you appreciate her."
"'Her'?" Daniel repeated, perking up as he caught the wording.
Sheppard smirked, and there was a spark in his eyes that made Daniel think he was being let in on a secret no one else knew. So, he wasn't surprised when Sheppard didn't say anything else.
Daniel smiled sincerely in reply.
The major gave a small nod and looked down at the water bottle as he began picking at the label, and Daniel turned his own attention back to his notes.
A short while later, the door burst open. Normally, Daniel wouldn't have paid any mind to Jack barging into his office — which was a fairly regular occurrence — but he was a bit startled by Sheppard's reaction. The major had immediately jumped up from the stool, and remained at attention — despite the obvious adrenaline drain when recognition of the new arrival hit.
Jack waved Sheppard off before he could say anything. "Relax Major. Geez, you're making me jittery."
Sheppard visibly forced his body to release some of its tension, but didn't speak as he tried to pull off a nonchalant stance as he leaned back against the shelving and let his hands resume fiddling with the water bottle, but without letting his attention stray from the general.
Daniel could see Jack wanted to simultaneously roll his eyes and sigh at the major, but when he refrained from either in favor of narrowing his eyes to study the younger man, Daniel intervened. "Was there something you needed Jack?"
Looking over at his friend, Jack smirked — which told Daniel he knew what he was doing — and replied cheerfully, "Yeah. I was seeing if you're done yet. I'm starving."
Rolling his eyes, Daniel nodded. "Sure, Jack," he agreed indulgingly.
Grinning, Jack clapped his hands together. "Great! Let's go." He started to retreat out of the office, but then stopped and looked at Sheppard. "That means you too Major."
Eyes widening in surprise, Sheppard responded unsurely. "Sir?"
This time Jack did roll his eyes. "Have you even been outside the mountain yet Sheppard?" he asked bluntly; his light tone having a serious edge to it.
Sheppard's swallow and obvious fight not to shuffle his feet were answer enough, but the major tried to shrug it off. "They wanted me around in case they had more questions."
Daniel didn't buy that casual justification, and from the sour twist to Jack's expression, he knew it wasn't the truth; especially since he knew the others were staying at a hotel in town.
"Well, now you're coming with me," Jack stated. He'd forced his voice to remain jovial, but there was no doubt it was an order.
The major nodded his acquiescence. "Yes Sir."
Jack simply turned and walked out of the office, knowing without waiting that they would follow. Daniel knew he had caught Sheppard's unease, but was trying not to make that obvious to the major.
Daniel smiled encouragingly as they followed the general toward the elevator.
—
Daniel let out a sigh of relief as he opened Jack's refrigerator to grab beers for them. As soon as they'd entered the house, the general had immediately excused himself to go change out of his dress blues. Sheppard was stuck in the plain, nondescript SGC BDUs he'd been issued upon his return to Earth since all he'd had was his Atlantis BDUs when they came through the wormhole.
More than a few people had given them curious looks as they'd made their way topside, and Daniel knew it was only because of Sheppard. General Landry had even stopped them to ask what was going on. Daniel was impressed with the way Sheppard had instantly hid his weariness and instead displayed the nonchalance Daniel was sure was the reason so many of his CO's didn't like him. Jack had just smiled and told Landry he was commandeering the major and not to worry; though Daniel had had to fight a smirk because that had made the other general look more worried.
Sheppard's haggard state had returned during the drive. His unease was apparent with the nervous glances he cast around the house and the way he shuffled his feet as if unsure what he was supposed to be doing.
Pushing a beer into the major's hand, Daniel gave him a small smile before taking a drink of his own.
The major was looking down at the bottle with an unreadable expression when Jack sauntered in.
"Drink up Major," the general ordered, clapping the man on the back before he grabbed the beer Daniel had pulled out for him. Smirking, he tipped the bottle towards Sheppard and said, "You're officially off duty and away from prying eyes." before taking a drink himself.
There was another moment of internal debate before Sheppard gave a hesitant smile and took a long gulp of the beer.
Jack put Daniel in charge of gathering supplies while he dragged Sheppard outside to help him get the grill going. Daniel didn't argue; he knew what Jack was doing.
Unsurprisingly, Sheppard didn't know too much about grills and wasn't a lot of help. Jack just motioned for him to stand back and supervise. The major had raised his eyebrows, but didn't argue.
After he got the grill lit and was waiting for it to heat up, Jack cast a subtle glance back toward the younger man and noticed him taking in the back yard and sky with a cautious wonder that the general had expected. "It's an adjustment," he commented bluntly, but keeping his tone gentle.
Sheppard immediately tensed. "Sir?" It was a question, but Jack knew it was an acknowledgement too.
Turning to face the major, Jack kept his expression soft, but his words were somber. "Coming back. It's always an adjustment."
The major held the older man's eyes for a long moment, before nodding tersely and taking a swig of his beer.
Jack glanced down for a second before continuing, "This isn't the same thing though." He watched the younger man carefully. "This isn't like coming back from all those classified missions you can't talk about in the places you were never officially in."
Sheppard gave him a sharp sideways glance, but said nothing.
"This isn't like after Afghanistan."
The major's jaw clenched, and he took another gulp of beer, but still said nothing.
Jack sighed before saying, "And no one else knows what you're going through. Not me. Not even anyone else that came back with you. Not Dr. Weir. Not McKay. No one. Cause they weren't in your position. They didn't deal with the same things you did. And they're not dealing with the same things you are now."
Sheppard seemed to have both simultaneously tensed more and deflated as he looked down and rubbed the back of his neck.
"I read the reports Sheppard. And I've been around long enough to read between the lines…I can make a pretty good guess at things that weren't in those reports, and no one else will know happened — not your fellow expedition members, probably not the brass, and certainly not the IOA — except you."
The look in Sheppard's eyes was part fear and part pleading for understanding.
Jack gave him a meaningful look in return. "I get it Sheppard. I've had to make those types of decisions before."
The major visibly relaxed a fraction at that, but didn't take his wary gaze off the older man.
"You need to take a minute," Jack advised seriously. "I know you weren't expecting to still be alive, let alone be back here. You were on your own for the past year, with a helluva lot of responsibility you weren't supposed to have on your shoulders. Now you have people to answer to again — and believe me, they want answers — and you're having to explain every decision you made to people who don't understand what it's like to operate under the belief that help's not coming and you'll be dead before anyone finds out what happened — if they find out what happened. And on top of that, you've been stuck underground in a territory that's supposed to be familiar, but hasn't been for a long time. I'm also willing to bet you haven't actually slept since before the siege."
Sheppard had been pale after being stuck in the mountain for a week, but he'd lost what little color he'd had left while Jack spoke. And in this moment, he looked both impossibly young and a lot older than he was.
Softening his expression more, Jack told him gently, but firmly, "You need to breathe."
Sheppard stared at him hard for a long moment, before swallowing and giving a brief nod as he took a deep breath.
Jack smirked. "Better."
The teasing quality of his comment had the major relaxing a little bit more. After another moment of silence as they both drank more beer, Sheppard finally asked, "So what now?"
"Now?" Jack replied as if he was surprised and wasn't expecting that, but his voice was light. Shrugging, he answered casually. "Now, you're out of meetings until Monday. So you have the weekend to relax, breathe, get some decent sleep, go get some civilian clothes, and get reacclimated; get your head on straight. Because believe me, they're not through tearing you to shreds yet." Once Sheppard nodded his understanding of the warning, Jack grinned and cheerfully added, "But first…steaks!"
Breathing out a chuckle, Sheppard's smile was small, but it was genuine and — for the first time — relaxed.
A/N: Well, I hope you liked this little story! I enjoyed writing it. With any luck, I'll have more SGA stuff to post soon, but no guarantees. Thanks for reading :) And as always, reviews are greatly appreciated!