Promises

Crash

Severide had been staying at Casey's house ever since he had discovered what a terrible state Casey was living in after Hallie had died. It had taken some convincing but Casey had finally broken down and allowed him to stay, only on the condition that he slept in the spare bedroom whilst Casey still slept on the couch. Despite Severide's protests to the contrary Casey refused to take the spare room, nor would he sleep in the main bedroom he had shared with Hallie.

Casey hadn't been himself at work, he'd thrown himself into it all as a distraction just like he would always do only this time everyone could see how his cracks had started to show. When Severide had heard what had happened when Casey and some of his crew were trapped in the prison he'd had enough, he couldn't stop himself from intervening. That was when he had found out what a state Casey was truly in but it was a few more shifts before Casey had taken furlough, somewhat forced by Boden. Once Severide had discovered his living situation and once the funeral had taken place everything had fallen apart. Casey couldn't hold himself together any longer.

The thing not everyone understood about Hallie was that she had been one of the only constant people in Casey's private life. He'd known her for more than eight years. They'd had their ups and downs, they'd had a couple of short breaks. Casey figured he was hard to live with, difficult to be around. As Hallie had always said, he kept everything buried so deep within himself that she was scared one day he would break and she wouldn't be able to help him. But he had opened up to her, he began to trust her completely, making small comments about his past, gradually revealing his story. She was the first person he had ever fully explained the situation with his mom to. But as the years had gone by Hallie had wanted her career, she'd not felt ready to settle down and have the family that Casey so longed for. He understood her reasons but he still wanted children of his own. His very own family unit. Something he had always really lacked in his life. Hallie had a family, a big family, it was one of the reasons she didn't long for the same wish as Casey. They'd broken up over that but when she'd arrived back in his life a few weeks ago she knew what she wanted, she'd grown in their time apart, and she'd wanted to have a family with the man she loved.

"Casey?" Severide called into the closed bathroom door. "You all right? We should really get going if we wanna get there before it starts getting dark." They were going away for a week. Fishing. He had taken furlough so he could get Casey away from the city for a much needed break. Casey needed to take a break and Severide knew he couldn't go anywhere on his own with all the monsters and demons that were in his head.

Casey was stood in front of the bathroom mirror. He had been for the last ten minutes. He couldn't see the reflection that was staring back at him. He was deep in thought. Thinking about everything and absolutely nothing all at the same time.

"Matt?" he heard Severide call again, it wasn't hard to detect the concern in his tone. He would admit to being a little surprised at Severide's insistence that he stayed with him, that he drove Casey to the funeral, went out after the wake and took him home after he'd drank so much he could hardly walk, and now Severide was taking him away, insisting that it would be good for both of them to leave the city. They had reconciled after Andy had died all those months ago. Both of them had made mistakes, both had blamed, even hated themselves and each other for what had happened. Still did to a degree but at least they had stopped butting heads even though things weren't back to how they were before Andy had died. Casey had really not expected so much care and help from the very person who had blamed him entirely for the demise of their best friend. "Matty?" Severide's voice floated through the closed door again. There it was; that name, the name only Severide used because he was the only one who'd ever been allowed to say it.

On the other side of the door Severide was counting from one to ten in his head, getting ready to kick it open. This wasn't the first time Casey had locked himself in the bathroom and ignored Severide calling him. But he relaxed as he heard Casey's voice a few moments later. "I'm ready," Casey spoke quietly and Severide heard the bathroom door unlock.

They'd been on the road for a few hours. Casey was driving. They were in his truck since it was much easier to take everything they needed for the week in his vehicle rather than attempt to fit it all into Severide's car. There'd been silence in the car for most of the journey, the only spoken words were of insignificant things. Casey was wound so tight Severide was sure he was likely to explode at any moment. He always had wondered how Casey had managed everything, no one had it perfect in life, you could look at anyone and think they were perfect, think they had the perfect childhood, the perfect lives, but you would never really know. Severide knew he could have had a worse childhood, hell, everyone could have it worse but then there was Casey. Casey. Severide had found himself thinking about him so much recently. He'd not had something terrible done to him, not truly terrible. He'd not been the most abused kid in the city, not even close, but what had happened to him would count as abuse, it could have been so much worse though, he was lucky really, lucky that his mom had killed his dad but not lucky because he had loved his dad, his dad hadn't beaten him senseless, well, there had been one incident but on the whole Casey had loved his father, still loved his father, always would.

Severide would never truly understand why but he always saw Casey as the better person. He was always seen as the better person by everyone, he was blond and attractive and everyone loved him, there was a few exceptions, but on the whole everyone loved Casey, victims loved Casey. He looked like the perfect model for a firefighter. Severide knew more. He wasn't perfect, he had so many issues, he had his faults, but he always tried to shield his issues away and it did make him seem like he had the perfect life because that's what he wanted everyone to think, he didn't want anyone to know his history, his issues. Severide could remember the day everyone at 51 had found out about his family. He'd blamed Severide immediately because it had never even crossed his mind that it could be Andy or someone from outside of the firehouse, since Severide knew more about him than anyone else. All those years previously everyone at the academy had discovered Casey's situation because Griffin had recognised his surname. Severide had desperately tried to put the dampers on the rumours both times Casey's name had been tossed around like celebrity gossip. In the end Herrmann spoke to Casey in private, Severide never knew what he said, but everything went back to normal after that and there'd been hardly a mention of Casey's family since.

"Matt…" Severide began as they drove along.

Casey glanced over to him

"You know you don't have to be so perfect all the time, we're all allowed to have faults, you should give yourself a break."

Severide watched as Casey's brows furrowed, he was concentrating on the empty road ahead. It was starting to rain now. "I'm not perfect," Casey retorted, he nearly laughed at the idea.

"You try to be… you try to appear to be," he explained.

"I'm not trying to be perfect," Casey almost snapped.

"You try to hide all your flaws," he replied.

"Everyone does that Kelly." Casey shook his head, frustrated. "What are you doing?"

"I just…" he sighed, he really wasn't doing a very good job at explaining his thoughts, "I just think you should relax and…"

"Relax?" Casey shot back. "My fiancée was just killed and you want me to relax."

"You're allowed to breakdown…"

"What the hell do you think this is?" Casey couldn't stop himself from yelling. "Do you think all this is me trying to be perfect? You saw the state of my…"

"Matt, no." Severide shook his head. "I'm explaining it all very badly. I just, I mean, you can talk, you can talk to me about stuff, you can cry and…"

"You think I've not cried? You think I've not screamed and…"

"I think you should stop being so hard on yourself."

Casey's eyes remained on the road, he was silent for a few moments. "Well… you went a funny way about saying it," he paused, sighing, "I'm sorry… I'm just… I guess I'm just on edge right now, taking stuff out on you isn't fair. Sorry."

"Take it out on me, I don't care," Severide shrugged, "Just promise me one thing?"

"What?" he asked, glancing over.

"Don't take it out on yourself." When Casey said nothing Severide spoke again. "You have to promise me, Matt?" he exhaled, "You won't make a promise you know you'll break."

"Sorry."

"You're so fucking broken."

Casey just laughed at that. Laughing purely for the first time Severide had seen since before Hallie's death. "I don't think I'm as broken as you think am," he spoke through the laughter. He slowed the car as they reached a crossroad, stopping at the stop sign he looked and then drove on.

Suddenly Severide saw something from the corner of his eye. "Casey look out!" he yelled. Casey had already seen it and had quickly swung into action but it was too late. The car had been speeding down the road from their left, straight towards them on the crossroad. Casey slammed his foot on the break but it made no difference.

In less than a matter of seconds the red blur that had been hurtling down the road slammed into the side of the truck sending it careering down the road. Metal crumpled. Breaks screeched on the wet tarmac. The truck flipped knocking both Casey and Severide out cold. It flipped again, flinging their bodies around like rag dolls. The car then skidded off to the left, only coming to a stop when it collided with the pine trees at the side of the road. Momentum eventually stopped the truck, it slowed to a halt as it continued to travel sideways down the road.

Casey woke in pain. He could hear ragged breaths. Moaning. He could hear the soft patter of rain. Metal creaking. Birds twittering. He could smell blood. He could taste blood. Everything hurt. He forced his eyes open. It took him some time realise that what he thought was a delicate cobweb in front of him was actually the cracked glass of a windscreen. Realisation hit. Suddenly he could understand why he was in pain. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. His mind was shouting at him. Panicking. His body wouldn't cooperative with his wishes. He couldn't turn his head. He couldn't move.

"Kel…" he breathed. His voice was louder the next time, "Kel…" he tried to rouse him, it wasn't working. Casey coughed. The coppery substance he could taste grew stronger. Horrible images entered his mind. Severide's eyes wide open. Bloodshot. Unseeing. "Kel…" he spoke as he managed to look to his right, his body finally cooperating.

Severide woke with a start. His eyes shot open. A groan escaped his lips. It took him a moment to remember everything that had happened and then he heard Casey's voice. "Matt…" he began, "Matt, are you ok? Are you hurt?" His heart had been in his mouth when he'd realised the car was going to hit Casey directly and there was nothing he could do about it, nothing he could to protect him. He didn't care about the pain he could feel radiating from his shoulder or the throbbing in his head, he just needed Casey to tell him he was all right.

"Gonna ask…" Casey coughed out, "Gonna ask you the same thing…"

"Shoulder's busted but I'm all right… I think. Are you hurt?" he repeated, so much concern in his tone, he wasn't going to hide his worry, the fear he'd felt when he saw the car speeding towards Casey's side of the truck was almost unreal. He couldn't lose Casey. Not Casey.

"Bit winded. I'm fine though, I'm fine." Casey smiled wearily towards him. "Don't really… really remember…" he frowned, everything was all still a bit of a blur. Red. Screeching. Pain.

"Your door…" Severide began, trying to hide his concern as the sight of blood on his best friend, it wasn't much at least. Broken glass from the window had cut his skin. Bruises were already appearing. He was pale. But he was awake. He was breathing. His heart was beating. He was alive. "Can you open your door? Can you move?" he asked.

"Jammed," Casey replied. The left hand side of the car had concaved inwards, Casey didn't have any space to manoeuvre.

"Can you move?" Severide questioned again as he managed to get the passenger side door open.

"I'm fine, I'm all right… think we've been really lucky…" he spoke, pulling himself out of the mess of metal, moving slowly and carefully to follow Severide out of the wrecked truck.

Severide faltered a little as he stood up out of the truck, he could feel a fresh trickle of blood making its way down his face. He held out a hand for Casey, helping him over the seats and out of the car. "Ok?" he asked.

Casey just nodded. There was a horrible feeling in his chest that was only getting worse. It was sharp. Stabbing. His back hurt. He was struggling not to cough. Struggling not to just fall into Severide's body and let himself be held. Adrenaline won through. "The other…" he glanced around and spotted the car that had hit them at such a terrifying speed. "The driver?" he questioned.

"Hit us head on at whatever ridiculous speed they were driving at…"

"I didn't see them… not 'til it was too late…" Casey spoke as he slowly started making his way over the other vehicle. Doubting the survival of anyone inside.

"They went straight through the stop sign," Severide replied as he followed Casey closely. "Not your fault." He didn't miss the way Casey staggered, didn't miss how he struggled to walk in a straight line, how he had to pause every so often, and he didn't miss the way Casey practically collapsed on the side of the car as they reached it. "Matt you should…" he began.

"I'm all right," Casey protested. Looking inside they could see there was just the driver. He was breathing but barely. Severide could only make out a faint pulse. Casey could see how his skull had concaved on impact. He doubted he'd make it even if an ambulance turned up in the next minute. And just as that thought entered his head he spoke, "Call an…"

With a bloody hand Severide was already pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, "On it… Damnit…"

"What's wrong?" Casey questioned, trying to get the car door open.

"No reception," he sighed.

Casey turned to him. "What?"

"No reception," Severide repeated.

"Erm… ok…" His mind blanked as he turned back to the man in the car. "Erm… I need…"

"Matt, he's dead," Severide stated, fingers back on the man's neck.

"Erm… right… my phone's in the truck," he spoke, looking at the body still and resting more of his own weight on the side of the car. "That might… might work…"

Severide's concern for Casey was growing by the second. "Matt?" He held his arm, steadying him.

"I'm all right, just a little dizzy, I'm fine… you need to get that shoulder looked at… it could be… erm…"

"Don't move, ok?"

"I'm all right…" Casey slurred, his hand gripping tightly onto the car for support.

"You say that one more time and I'll throttle you," he threw back over his shoulder as he went to the truck.

Severide should have known better. Of course Casey hadn't listened to him. As he started walking back, Casey's phone now in his jeans pocket, Casey had begun making his way over to him. Severide was shaking his head at both the fact that there was no signal, because apparently that was the way their luck was going, and because Casey hadn't listened to a word he'd said. Severide was about to make a remark on Casey's inability to do anything that was good for him when he saw him falter. Casey's knees buckled after only a couple of steps and he fell forwards with a sickening thud.

TBC