It had been three and a half weeks since the camping trip. Everyone thought they were in blissful heaven. Well, almost everyone. The only three people who knew Reagan and Amy's relationship wasn't going so well were Reagan, Amy, and Karma. Of course Amy knew that Karma knew and Karma knew that Amy knew, but they both didn't know Reagan knew. They never seemed to get that their tiny little bubble they created when they were just the two of them seemed to be more transparent than they thought. Reagan knew something was up, but she just hoped that it was nothing.
She had seen the glances they gave each other on the days they "hung out". She was trying to get to know Karma better, even though she dreaded it. Obviously Karma has a lot of influence on Amy, and she wanted to have at least a comfortable relationship with her.
" You guys want to watch a movie?" They were all over at Amy's place. Everyone else was out of the house. Karma wanted to ease the tension from small talk.
"Ooh great idea. But what?" Amy immediately agreed, squeezing Reagans arm in reassurance. They weren't cuddling, which was weird for them. There was at least an inch space between them. It was like Amy was embarrassed to be near her.
"How about Twilight, Amy told me you love that movie Karma?" Reagan was trying.
"NO!" the two other girls responded, obviously anxious to watch any movie but that.
" We've just watched it so many times.." Karma tried to play it off cool, and she and Amy thought she was doing a good job to. They both remembered the night of truth or dare, and how awkward it was. Reagan knew Karma was lying, but she didn't know what the truth was. Amy never told her the full truth. Ever. She doesn't know the full truth about their fake relationship. She doesn't know about the jail. The only thing she's beginning to know is how weird they act around each other, like they have something, but they both can't admit to it.
"Okay then, what about Unaccompanied Minors? It's pretty funny?"Karms shook her head no. All the the Christmas stuff reminded her of, well, a whole bunch of memories she had with Amy and how many she thought they were going to have.
" Saw?" No. " Scooby Doo?" No. " The Yellow Sumbarine?" No. No. No. Every movie Reagan suggested Karma though of something else about her and Amy's past. She didn't want to be reminded about her strange new feelings toward Amy anyway.
" What about Hairspray?" Karma inputted.
"Yes, that's perfect, right babe?" Amy turned to Reagan, giving her a pouty look. As soon as she saw her, she knew Reagan was pissed. Why, she didn't know. All she knew was that she was going to have to reassure her girlfriend. Again.
"Fine." Reagan said, obviously, putting on a fake smile. Karma bought it. Reagan was just so mad that Amy never said yes once to any of her suggestions. Not one. But when Karma says something, Amy's on board. That's how most of their shit starts. Amy doing whatever Karma says. And why? Because their best friends and that's what best friends do?
About half way into the movie Reagan and Amy were holding hands, but weren't siting as close as they could, which made Reagan a bit sad. Amy and Karma were actually sitting closer together. It was that detention scence, and Karma has the nerve to lean on Amy's shoulder and whisper in her ear, "Remember in Mr. Guistos class when Jannie tried to sing this?" That made Amy snort. Reagan let go of her hand and sat in silence the rest of the movie. Amy and Karma were chatting away, oblivious to Reagans obvious uncomfortableness. They'd ask her questions from time to time, but she'd just nod along. By the end it was late, not really late, but dinner time. Karma went to go find a pizza takeout menu. All Reagan wanted to do was leave, and this was her chance.
"Its getting late, I'm gonna jet," Reagan said, trying to hide her annoyance at the evening.
"No you can't go now. We were just about to get food," Karma said "WE" a little too confidently, grabbing onto Amy's shoulder with a little bit too much contact. She had feelings for Amy, if that's what you could call it. That dream showed her that she needed Amy, loved Amy. She didn't know if it was romantic or not, but being with Amy is what she needed. She didn't care that Amy tried to hurt her, or that she had a girlfriend standing right in front of her. She just wanted their relationship to go back to normal. The torturous best friends with benefits but not really scenario.
The worst part about it is Amy agreed with Karma, again. She felt so guilty about what had happened. She just wanted Karma to be happy, like she always did. She loved Karma, in weird and twisted ways that she accepted could never go away. She didn't know how all the contact made Reagan feel, a girl she supposedly cared about.
" No, no. I just have to go," Reagan was gathering her things. Everyone knew she was irritated now.
"Well you don't have to be a bitch about it," Karma said under her breath. Why did she say that? She needed to have a better relationship with her torturous best friends with benefits but not really scenario friend's girlfriend.
The worst thing what could come out of Amy's mouth did, " Yea, come on Reagan stay." Look who agreed again, Amy. Reagan didn't know that hurt more. Being called a bitch, or having her girlfriend validate that statement.
Now she didn't care if she wasn't acting polite. " Typical," was all Reagan could muster. She headed for the door. Amy tried to interviene. Standing between the doorway. "Move."
"Not untl you tell me what's bugging you. Seriously the night was going great." She had no idea.
"Move," Reagan pushed passed her and hurried to her car. Amy told Karma she'd be right back, running after Amy. She caught up, and grabbed Reagans hands, forcing the other girl to face her.
"What's gotten into you?" Amy yelled, " You were the one who wanted to hang out with her again. It's like this happens every single time we.."
"Stop. You seriously don't know what just happened?" Reagan asked, hoping that she was wrong. Amy shook her head, still oblivious. Reagan had to take a deep breath so she didn't cry. "Well, it would have been better if I wasn't even there."
" What do you mean by that?" The look Amy gave Reagan put daggers through her chest.
" Every single time I talked Karma got uncomfortable, and you agreed. I couldn't talk about us without one of you changing the subject. You didn't even let me pick a fucking movie. But one choice for little old Karmen and your dying to see it. You could even hold hands with me through a whole fucking movie because your too busy being couply with a girl you used to be in love with." It hit her. She tried to play it off like Reagan was over analyzing things.
" Your looking to much into it, were just friends."
"Friends who used to date," Reagan looked away, she couldn't bare to look in Amy's eyes. Amy stepped back.
"You have no right, we weren't"
"Even together yea yea. But you LOVED her Amy. She was cuddling all over you."
"But that's just how we are.." Amy tried to justify it.
"Yea well that's not healthy. I'll call you tomorrow night, kay? I just need to breath," and just like that Reagan walked away. Her car was so far away, which was weird. Amy went back inside to a prying Karma.
" Is everything okay?"
" Yea."
"I don't believe you. You know I can read you thoughts."
"I know. Things are just complicated betweem us, you know, and she doesn't get it."
"I know," Karma pulled Amy into a hug. She was glad Reagan wasn't there. She liked having Amy there. But Amy didn't know that to feel.
And much to Reagans dismay, she decided to go back and try to make amends. It's not good for couples to leave without making amends. And how much was her heart broken when she saw Karma and Amy hugging, like that.
Two weeks passed, and Shane convinced her to go to his "Beginning of the Break" party. Reagan and Amy didn't really patch things up, and he thought what better than to make his favorite lesbian couple feel better than to get them drunk. Why Reagan agreed was beyond her control. Shw cared for Amy, a lot. She needed Amy, a lot. She loved Amy, a lot. She had to try and patch things up. Little did she know what was in store for her.
She picks Amy up, exchanging in light conversation with Farrah and Lauren. They both love her. She isn't toxic. She's mature. She could make Amy a better person. Once they say goodbye, Amy makes it her mission to get Reagan to forgive her. She's thought it over, a lot. She realized she's been a complete idiot doing that to her girlfriend. She fell for Reagan, in a way that Karma could never compare to. OF course she still loves and cares for Karma, but Reagan is starting to tie her in every department besides pleasure. Reagans winning at that hands down.
On the car ride over, Amy made sure to do everything to turn Reagan on. She kept moving her hands closer and closer toward Reagan. She put on a very sensual radio station. She sung the lyrics. She even glared at Reagan with those, bedroom eyes. The only thing going through Reagans mind now is how much faster will it take to get to Shanes.
Once they arrive, Reagans runs over to the passanger side and opens it for Amy. She returns the favor by getting close to Reagans ear and whispering, "Thanks a lot babe." Both girls forgot why they were mad. They went hand and hand into the house and straight to the booze. After a couple shots they went to a couch and got close. They just talked. And the talking became less educated. And the mouths stopped being two and just became one.
And just like that Karma came to ruin everything. She looked sad. The reason she looked sad was because she saw Reagan and Amy making out. She felt betrayed, obviously. She had to stop it.
"What's wrong?" Amy asked, standing up and leaving Reagan.
"It's just.. can we talk alone," she didn't even wait for an answer because she pulled Amy away. The only thing she could do was look back at Reagan and say sorry. Unlucky for everyone, Reagan began to sober up.
"What the fuck Karma? What's so important," Amy was mad, but also concerned. She trusted that Karma wouldn't pull her away from Reagan for a bad reason.
"Liams here and," oh no. no no no no. Karma isn't doing this again. She isn't bringing this topic up again. " He said he wanted to talk and I just.." Karms could finish, because Reagan walked over. The whole party stopped, it seemed like, because Reagan walked over. She was beyond mad.
"Find a ride home, I'm leaving," Reagan spat out. She was totally sober now, she was seething. She was walking out when Karma had the nerve to say, " So your just going to leave your girlfriend, that's kind of a dick move don't you think."
The music actually stopped for that one.
Reagan breathed. She turned around and Karma immediately regretted her last statement. She hid behind Amy. And Amy wasn't ready for what was about to happen..
" I'm a dick? Me? At least I'm not the one sabotasing three people lives!"
" What do you mean? Whose lives am I ruining?" Wrong answer, again.
" Liams, mine, and especially Amy's.. No, especially mine" They both thought Reagan knew the whole story. The fucked up story. Truth is Reagan knew nothing that was true, only the fucked up things.
" Look Amy was the one who slept with Liam, I had nothing to do with that?" Karma tried to defend the little dignity she had left.
"What, you slept with Liam?" Reagan had her heart broken. Shattered. Again.
"Shit" everyone seemed to say. Everyone was silent for a minute.
"Look it's not what you think?" Now it's Amy's turn to defend herself. "It was before I even met you. I told Karma I loved her and I was trying to hurt her. It in no way dampens our relationship." She tried to comfort Reagan, but she just took a step back.
" No Amy, I'm not mad that you slept with him."
"Really?" Amy had a glimmer of hope.
"No, I'm mad because you never tell me the FUCKING TRUTH!" Everyone gasped. "You lie to me every damn day. You can't tell the truth ever. You never told me about Karma until I met her. You never told me you faked being a lesbian until it came up in conversation. You expect me to be fine with whatever you feeling but it is getting annoying."
" That's different that doesn't give you a right," is all Amy could muster. It didn't help.
" What the fuck is up with you and Karma's combacks. It never helps and it just digs you a bigger hole. Seriously have you ever been in a healthy relationship before. Or are yoy just too far up each others asses to notice your hurting each other and everyone around you."
"Hey Reagan," Shane came up behind her, trying to help, "Do you want me to move everyone out so you can talk in private?"
"No. I want everyone to hear how screwed up they are,"she said, obviously crying. But she came to a conclusion, finally, about what's been happening. "Everyone should know how selfish Karma is for loving Amy like she does, and how hurtful Amy is for letting her."
" What, I don't love her?" Karma said.
" Of course you do, Your jealous of me and that's why every time I open my mouth you get irritated. O remind you of a time where you aren't leeching onto Amy." Everyone connected the dots then. It all made sense. Karma did love Amy, but in a very bad way. Karma just wanted it all, and Amy was apart of that.
Amy didn't know how to handle all of this. She knew that Reagan was going to say about her. She had to stop it, " I love you."
Reagan looked at her, for real this time. She saw that Amy meant it, but she as too far gone for it to matter. "What a wonderful time to those first words, for the first time Amy. I do have a question though. Why did you think that the best time to tell me that you love me was when the avalanche already fell? Please enlighten me on that?"
"Because I do. I was wrong. Please give me a chance and I'll make everything better."
"No. You made me feel like I was paranoid. You made me feel like shit for thinking something more was happening. You made me feel so insecure for trying to do couple-ie things and you know what, I'm done." Reagan started to walk away, but she thought of something, so she turned back, looked Amy straight in the eyes, and said,
"Don't worry about having to choose. I've done it for you. You two can keep on ruining each other's lives, that's fine with me. But please try not to drag anyone else in, because it can really destroy a person."
And like that Reagan was gone and Amy knew the mistake she made. She loved Reagan. She cared for Reagan. Hell she even tried to spare her from the pain. She was just too caught up in getting over her feelings for Karma, she forgot to get into her feelings with Reagan.
Author Note: Yes yes I do love Reamy. And Amy. But it just seemed like Amy lies too much. It's just a lesson on healthy relationships.