I own no part of Rookie Blue

(Written before Big Nickel) It seems that steal your heart smile and a keen sense of humor are Sam Swarek's most endearing qualities. He really seems to be a good guy, too. With all that in mind, some humorous interchanges, between our friends on their trip to Sudbury…..

As they exited the dusty parking lot of the little cafe Sam had chosen for lunch, Andy could simply hold her tongue no longer. "That was disgusting!" She was not talking about the food.

"Just because you don't, McNally doesn't mean some women don't find me quite appealing."

"I never said you weren't appealing," Sam wasn't the only one who could do a good tease, "but she practically sat in your lap. Did she get any of that drool on your uniform?" Incredulous would best describe Andy's reaction to their waitress. Andy had been really hungry when they stopped but that woman had killed her appetite. It should be noted, Sam did nothing to dissuade the woman. Truth be told he encouraged her.

Swarek was away from 15 Division, he was relaxed and in high spirits. If his hi-jinks hadn't spoiled her lunch she would have been ecstatic to see him so happy. Sam could be a charming rascal. She had seen it in the past but lately he had been introverted, lost in his own thoughts and often bordering on rude when she was around.

The only good that came from the waitress hovering around their table was Andy's tea glass stayed constantly full. She was so unnerved by the woman and her fascination with Sam that Andy kept her hand busy tipping that glass back. Without the tea drinking her hand would have probably gotten out of control and slapped some sense into the two of them. There was friendly flirting and then there was ridiculous.

"So you think I'm appealing?" He could not help asking and combined the question with one of those 'I am soooo cute look'.

She knew it was coming. She had known he could not resist. There was no doubt he oozed sex appeal but he was still just a man. There were some things about men that were never a mystery. You tell one he's appealing and he can't help himself. He is not satisfied until you affirm that you do in fact find him appealing. Andy was ready.

In her most dramatic, how-in-a-million-years-could-you-doubt-it look Andy responded. "Appealing? Are you kidding? You are on my short list along with …. baby ducks, the Pussycat Doll's wardrobe," she counted off on her fingers, "and that Build-A-Bear, Awesome Alien Orange, the one with the four arms." She attempted to bat her eyes as she shared her most innocent smile with the brunt of her joke.

"Oh! So it's that way is it, McNally? You think we're going to have abuse Sam Day. I don't think so!"

The advantage of pulling a joke on the car's driver is they are stuck in place. They can't tap, tickle or tackle. Words would seem to be their only means of retaliation; that is true only if the jokester didn't drink way to much tea at lunch.

The laws of physics, biology, anatomy or some other science are in play here. In plain English, what goes in one end must come out the other. "Sam," sweet voice, really sweet, "Sam?"

He didn't know what she was planning with all that sweetness but considering the last round had gone to her he would proceed with extreme caution. Never taking his eyes from the road, he answered in his nicest tone," Yes."

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"Really?"

"Sam, I drank way too much tea. I have to go to the bathroom."

"OK," as he slowed and pulled over on the shoulder of the road, "go."

A little stunned at his rapid response to her request, she looked out the window; trees, trees and more trees.

"Sam, this isn't a bathroom!"

"I thought you said you drank too much tea. Go ahead, McNally. I won't look. I couldn't see you in all those trees anyway." There was such a ring of sincerity to his comments, but Andy was not fooled.

"You know very well this is not going to work." She had his number.

He hadn't milked all the humor from this situation yet and he was not stopping until he had. "I don't know why not," delivered with just a touch of indignation.

"It's a matter of anatomy, Sam. I'm not built like you." Before all the words were out of her mouth she knew she had given him the opening he needed. She recognized her mistake but it was as though those words were on a mission and no matter had badly she wanted to recall them the missile had been launched and she would have to deal with the fall-out.

Forrest Gump would have been proud of Sam's delivery of amazement and concern. The drawl was good too. "Is it a birth defect, Andy?"

Andy crossed her legs, squeezed real tight and proceeded to laugh her ass off.

Sam pulled back on the highway and waited until her laughter had subsided. "I am really disappointed. I had some real good remarks to make about high school anatomy lab field trips, back seats of cars and blankets in the moonlight."

"That would have been overkill. Now, can you find me a bathroom?"

Andy thought, "it sure is nice having the old Sam back. I hope nothing happens to mess that up."