Alec shakily slid the silver key into the hole of the door. His trembling hand almost made it an impossible task. With blurring vision and sticky hands, he pushed the door to Magnus's loft open and made his way inside, tripping over his own feet as he went.
Alec tried to call out to Magnus, but his throat refused to comply. He looked around in haste. He knew he needed help and he needed it fast. His eyes landed on the soft dim glow of light spilling out from the bedroom. If he listened closely, he could faintly hear the running water of the shower, but any kind of sound was floating in and out of focus and into a dull hum.
The boy made it his resolve to at least make it to Magnus before he met his end, so with great effort, he trudged one foot in front of the other. It took the boy five painstaking minutes to get to the bedroom door. He reached out to take hold of the doorknob, one step closer to getting to his love. On hi way there, his hand suddenly felt numb.
The numbness spread up his arm and down to his leg. Alec tried in vain to stay standing, as his knee gave out under the numb feeling leaving him on the floor of Magnus's loft. On his way down, his body twisted making the gash in side rip open more and bleed what seemed like buckets. His hand flew to the wound trying to hold in whatever he could even though he knew it was no use.
Alec let out a scream dripping with pain when his throat could no longer ignore the need to work. All sound was turned off, making the whole world appear like a silent movie. With his vision fading in and out, it was practically a miracle that Alec saw the bedroom door open and a face laced with concern looking back at him. At first, he wasn't sure who the face belonged to but as his vision cleared, he saw it was the one- no only- person he wanted to see.
Magnus. His Magnus. Alec smiled despite the grim situation that he had caught himself in. Magnus fell to his knees beside Alec, his mouth forming words that Alec could not hear. Alec's frustration at not being able to hear what Magnus was saying boiled over when the beautiful man before him started to cry.
Alec pushed all the remaining energy he possessed into hearing and what he hear made his breath catch and his heart jump to his throat.
"Alec! Alec please! Please don't leave me!" Magnus fit in between sobs. Alec tried to lift up his arm to wipe away the tears leaking from his love's eyes, but he settled for landing his hand on the warlock's thigh. The warlock's eyes snapped down to Alec's meeting them with unshed tears and an ancient sadness that filled Alec to the brim with self-loathing knowing that he was the one who put it there.
Magnus's hands landed on Alec's side and glowed blue. After the blue light died, and Alec still remained in the state he was in, both knew there was nothing to be done. That it was over for Alec. For both of them. Magnus let out a broken sob that would have anyone's eyes filing with tears. It did Alec's at least.
Magnus put his hands back upon the wound, trying again and again to heal the love of his life and each time getting the same heartbreaking results. He knew what happened, he didn't have to ask. Demons. Eubris judging by the poison that was dangerously close to Alec's heart.
Magnus was just about to try to heal the boy beneath him again when he felt hands close over his own. He looked into the cerulean eyes of the one person he has loved more than anyone he as ever loved before and knew that this was the last time he would be seeing them.
Alec felt the tears drop from his eyes. He didn't want to die. It wasn't fair. There were so many things he wanted to do. So many things he wanted to say. And Magnus. He wasn't even close to being ready to let Magnus go and he knew he never would be. He left so many feelings unsaid, left so many touches he kept to himself even though he wanted to give them to Magnus. So many things he wanted and could never have.
So he cried. He cried for his family, for his little brother who met the same fate as he will, for his mother who is losing yet another son, for Jace who will feel his death, for Isabelle who will be the last of the Lightwood siblings, and for Clary and Simon who will have to comfort his grieving brother and sister.
He cried for all that and more, but mostly he cried for Magnus and all the things he was stupid enough to keep to himself. All the time he wasted on Jace when he could have spent that time with Magnus. All the 'I love you's that never made it past his lips. All the 'You're the best thing that has ever happened to me's that he kept bottled up. All the times he wanted to hold Magnus but kept his hands to himself.
Now he wished he did it all. Held nothing back. Now all he wanted was to hold Magnus and be held and never have to let go. But now was too late and he knew that even though he hated it.
Magnus brushed the tears away from the beautiful boy's face. He never even got to tell him he loved him. He never go to hold him close without fear of him running away.
"Magnus, I love you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."
The words surprised the warlock but he knew they were the utter truth due to the sincerity behind the shadowhunter's voice. His eyes welled with tears once again. Why did this happen? Why now when Alec finally admitted his feelings. Magnus hasn't even had the chance to love him back and he is being ripped away from him.
"I love you too, Alexander. I always have."
Alec shut his eyes tight upon hear those words leave the man's lips. He knew what he meant. He's loved him even when Alec didn't love him back. Even when he was in love with another. Even when he refused to acknowledge his presence. He still loved him.
"I- I'm so sorry Mags." Alec's breathing was becoming shallow and labored. Magnus knew the end was nearing but he wanted to prolong this moment as long as he could. Alec said he loved him. Alec said he loved him. Magnus finally heard the three words he has been dreaming of since he met the shadowhunter and he was overjoyed despite the grim circumstances.
Magnus was broken out of his reverie by Alec's coughing fit. He looked to the injured boy to see blood littering his lips and chin. Magnus swallowed. He knew this was it five more minutes and he would be gone. Taken from him forever. He started sobbing again, throwing his body over Alec's. As childish as it might sound, he didn't want Alec to leave. He wanted Alec to stay right next to him forever and he cursed himself for not realizing sooner just how much this boy meant to him.
Alec accepted that he was dying, but he wasn't leaving without putting everything he felt for Magnus out in the open. "Magnus," Alec had to stop to cough up more of the blood clogging his airways. "I know that I've been a shit boyfriend and person, but I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I never loved Jace. I thought I did, but I didn't. I know what it feels like to be in love with someone and what I felt for Jace wasn't even close. I saw the way you looked longingly at me when I was with Jace but said nothing. I saw the way you had to hold your hand back from touching mine. At the time I was glad you did, but now, now I wish I held your hand every second of every day and I wish I realized that I much rather have you than Jace anyway of the week. I love you with every single part of me but I still pushed you aside so I could try to keep living in my perfect little bubble of fantasy and of that I am eternally sorry. " Alec had to force his confession out of his mouth through coughs, blood, and labored breaths.
Magnus stared wide-eyed, too shocked to even continue his sobbing. He knew, he saw. Magnus thought he hid his longing well. Well enough so that no one, not even Alexander Lightwood would know. But Magnus should know by know, Alec notices everything wether he wants him to or not. Magnus closed his eyes as the tears resumed and he rested his forehead on Alec's chest, crying with a new fervor.
Magnus knew he should do the same as Alec. Put everything he ever felt out on the table. But he couldn't find the words. There were too many feelings that the boy invoked in Magnus to explain, so he just settled for the simple honest summary of his feelings.
"I-I love you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood. More than anything or anyone I have ever loved before. There is no one who could ever live up to you. You're it for me." Magnus poured out his heart to the boy whose eyes were helplessly drooping.
Alec laughed a breathless laugh that turned into a coughing fit that sprayed blood all over the boy's face. "Even more than glitter?"
Magnus smiled a little in fondness but suddenly became serious. "All the glitter in the world is no match for just one moment with you, Alexander." Magnus lifted his head up to meet Alec's eyes. They were sincere and beautiful.
"Really?" Alec's voice was a mere labored whisper laced with hope.
Magnus took a deep breath trying to steady his voice that was surely about to crack. "Really." Magnus's long tanned fingers reached down to sweep the raven locks away form the boy's face. He tried not to focus on the sharp contrast between the boy's skin and the blood covering parts of it.
Alec could feel his world fading, but he wanted to feel the warlock's warm lips against his one last time.
"Kiss me please." Alec hoped Magnus would comply but if he didn't Alec would understand.
Magnus didn't even hesitate to claim Alec's lips. Alec's bloody, chapped lips. Magnus didn't care. He would kiss chapped and bloodied lips all day as long as they belonged to Alec.
Alec sighed into the kiss he kissed back with abandon but soon his strength faded. Alec laid on the cold hardwood floors and let himself be kissed by the love of his very tragically short life. Magnus pulled away for air and Alec knew this was it. He forced his last sentence out of his lips and turned his head and kiss the inside on the hand resting on his cheek.
"I love you, Magnus Bane."