Everything hurts and it's not the effing shot that hurts. Where the hell am I anyway? All I'm staring at is down on my bloody pa; my pa who shot me. Who MURDERED me, his only effing son. I knew it. Should've known it anyway when he pointed that damn rifle at Pigpiss, the one he called his second son. I wipe the tears from my eyes but they keep falling. My chest feels like it's been torn apart and it's not because of the bullet. Shut up. And then Pigpiss turns his gun on me and that's it. I'm alone in this world and the person whom I thought was my only friend –and my brother– wasn't really my friend at all. I guess I deserved it, for everything I've done and for shooting his only family left. That was an accident, but still inexcusable. Just like everything else was. I feel like I've been punched in the gut. My Noise turns hot with shame. Todd's gotta forgive me.
And then I see him crouching by my side, and he says my name, and I can't tear my eyes off my bloody, holey body and the look on Todd's face. I almost daren't believe it. He looks…hurt. Maybe he has forgiven me. Maybe…maybe…. Please, Todd. Please. Even if I don't deserve it. I see him stand up and even though I can't hear his bloody loud Noise anymore, his face is contorted with so much emotion, so much grief and rage that it almost embarrasses me. Suddenly it feels as if a gaping hole inside me has shrunken.
My eyes glance over to my effing bastard of a pa, but they don't linger long. I can't stand seeing his face. He's the real pigpiss, but that's Todd's nickname now. My pa can be the bastard animal. I look at Todd again and think about that little attempt at redemption by returning to him his ma's book, and even though that can never be enough for what I've done, I hope he'll read it, somehow. I secretly hope he'll remember me as a brother, as family, if no one else will. I hope he'll find his ma in that book. Come to think of it, maybe I'll find my ma. I never knew her. Is she even still alive? My Noise starts buzzing. Maybe. I mean, what else is there to hope for? A future for Todd and Viola and none for my damned pa, I guess. I need that so bad my Noise immediately starts growing frantic, incontrollable. At least there's still hope. And then I turn and go, into a flash of effing blinding light that envelops me in, but not before seeing Todd close my eyes. Bye, Todd. There's still some hope for you too, Pigpiss.