Disclaimer: "Almost Lover" is By: A Fine Frenzy. I strongly suggest you all go out and by the album because it is wonderful. And I don't own CCS…no matter how much I complain.
By Riley S
"Sakura…I'm leaving…"
Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
I stair blankly at Syaoran. We are sitting on the bench at the park after school. After knowing each other for ten years we had grown very close. To think we use to hate each other, always fighting when we first met. Yet somehow that hatred turned into friendship…now unrequited love.
I have been in love with Syaoran for nearly four years. On my sixteenth birthday when he threw me that huge surprise party…he filled the room with flowers and balloons and my friends. When I saw him, it was like the first time I was looking at him. His eyes filled with amusement and a small smile on his lips as he looked at my shocked expression when I entered the room.
"Sakura…" Syaoran questions, bringing me out of my daydream. I turn my emerald eyes to him.
"I'm sorry…" I manage to mumble out before running off in the direction of my house.
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick
Later that night I'm sitting at my desk looking at a picture of Syaoran and I. Tomoyo took it last year on New Years. Syaoran has his arm around me; fireworks are going off in the background. I'm holding a sparkler in my hand a huge grin on my face. We are both smiling blissfully at the camera.
My cell phone rings again. This time it's Tomoyo, I recognize the ring tone I have for her.
"Hello?" I say into the phone as I flip it open.
"Are you okay?" She sounds worried on the other line. "Syaoran called me and said you ran off…." I don't respond. "He is worried about you. I'm sorry Sakura…"
"Me too…" My voice sounds hallow even to my ears.
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
The next day at school Syaoran doesn't say a word to me. I guess he is still shocked by my reaction to the news. The teacher announces to the class that Syaoran will be leaving at the end of the week. Some girls in class break out in tears over the news. I just sit there and don't say anything.
Around noon Tomoyo meets up with me for lunch. We managed to work out our college courses so we could still have lunch together at least twice a week. She is talking about her date with Eriol the other night; I know she is trying to help me not think about Syaoran.
I look across the quad to see him sitting with Eriol in front of the library. He is looking at me, which makes me turn my gaze quickly.
"Tell him." Tomoyo says, and I look at her quizzically. "You have to tell him before he goes." I nod without even realizing it and pack up the rest of my lunch to head off to my next class.
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
"kura…" Syaoran says behind me making me stop in my tracks. I was heading back home after class. I feel my cheeks burn a little at his nickname for me.
Slowly I turn around and look up to the expecting amber eyes of Syaoran.
"Syaoran…" I say.
"I'm sorry…" He takes a step towards me. "I don't want to. But mother is making me, she says it's about time I return home for my responsibilities as clan leader." I nod a little as he says this.
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
"Sakura…" He says taking another step towards me before enveloping me into a hug. I feel all my walls break down at this simple gesture. My knees weaken and I fall into his arms. My arms somehow manage to find their way around his waist as I hold onto the back of his shirt in fistfuls.
"I leave Saturday." He says into my hair as he holds onto me.
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
The next day I didn't go to my classes. I lay in bed until noon when my phone went off. I looked at the screen to see a picture of Syaoran from his birthday I took on my cell.
"Meet me at the coffee shop in a half an hour." He says as I pick up the phone. He doesn't even wait for a response before hanging up; he probably knows I would argue with him.
As I walk into the coffee shop forty five minutes later I see Syaoran sitting in a corner in the back of the shop, our normal spot.
"I'm glad you came." I smile a little at this as I order some coffee from the waitress.
"Did you think I wouldn't?" I ask. He shrugs at this before looking up at me. His eyes look sad as he looks at me.
"I'll miss you." He says moving a little closer to me. I can feel a tear slide down my cheek. Syaoran moves his hand to wipe away my lone tear. That's when I notice how close he was to me. "I'll miss you." He repeats before leaning down and kissing me.
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no
The next day is the day before he leaves. He is busy packing and asked me if I would come over to help him. I reluctantly agreed. Eriol is already there along with Tomoyo by the time I arrive around two in the afternoon. Most of his kitchen and living room are packed up.
I smile a little as I enter his apartment. He had lived here for ten years. At first with his butler until Syaoran turned sixteen then they let him live by himself. I glance at the boxes sitting on the kitchen counter, they are full of kitchen utensils and other things he had managed to accumulate over the years. Syaoran was in his room going through his clothes. Tomoyo and Eriol where looking over his movies and DVD cables trying to sort everything out.
I walk into Syaorans' bedroom he is sorting out the clothes in his closet and in his dresser. He smiles as I walk in.
"Hey you made it!" he says as he walks over to give me a hug.
"Yea…" I say a little uneasy. Neither one of us said anything about our kiss after it happened yesterday. We just acted as if nothing had happened. I mean friends don't kiss each other.
We had spent the rest of the day going threw his clothes and some things we found stuffed in the back of his closet. Tomoyo and Eriol put on an old video of us that Tomoyo had taped. It was the video of my sixteenth birthday.
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
"Surprise!!" Everyone in the video was yelling as a bewildered younger me walked into a room full of people. The smile on my face brightened as I saw Syaoran I was walking over and giving him a huge hug.
"You know…" Syaoran said behind me causing me turn my attention away from the tv, "That's when I realized…"
I look at him confused for a moment before returning to the tv to see the younger me dancing with Syaoran during my party.
"It was then when I realized what this feeling was…" He says behind me again, putting a hand onto my shoulder.
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
Eriol had interrupted us before either one of could say anything that time. Tomoyo was shooting him dirty looks the rest of the night.
That night I didn't sleep a wink, I had a feeling neither did Syaoran.
I got myself up early that morning and took a long shower. After changing and fixing my hair I sat at my desk and looked at the picture of Syaoran and me again. His eyes seemed so peaceful in this picture, yet they seem to carry an emotion I may have never noticed before. It was hidden in the back of his eyes.
I slowly walked myself over to Syaoran apartment after trying, and unsuccessfully, eating breakfast. Syaoran was up and sitting at the kitchen counter when I arrived. He looked up sadly at me as I walked in. He had left the front door open for me.
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
He had left that day, neither one of saying what we really wanted to say to each other. After a long hug and a tearful goodbye he kissed me lightly on the lips and told me he would write and call whenever he got the chance.
I never received a letter of phone call from him. Two years later I am putting on my graduation robe ready to graduate from college. I take a glance at my desk. That picture of us from New Years is still sitting on my desk. Tomoyo asked me once why I kept it when he had made no effort to contact me. I just shrugged, but I know why I kept it.
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?
After the ceremony Tomoyo took me and a bunch of friends out to eat. We all sat around eating and laughing. We where recalling one of the most proud moment in our entire lives. Being done with school.
As I walked back from the bathroom I spotted someone who looked familiar to me, across the room. Messy chestnut hair was sticking up everywhere and amber eyes staring intently at the girl next to him. A man at the table stood up to speak, raising his wine glass as he did so.
"Syaoran, the man the legend, and Kiyo his wonderful fiancé. They are a match made for each other. Together they will be the Li clan to new heights. The elders could not have picked a better match for dear Syaoran! To a Tokyo wedding bringing together China and Japans largest clans!"
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
They all had raised their glasses to cheer each other, and I thought I saw a sad smile across Syaoran lips. His eyes scanned his party before looking back at me. For a moment there was surprise written on his face before he recomposed himself. His arm still around the girl, her long black hair tumbling down her shoulders and dark brown eyes smiling happily. They looked good together.
He quickly excused himself from the party and got up to walk in my direction. I turned around and tried my hardest to not think about him and his fiancé.
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
He must have followed me all the way back to my party, because Tomoyo looked like she was about to make a comment on it as I walked over to the table. I turned my head slightly to see Syaoran from a distance watching me. His eyes sad and full of longing. I tried to put him out of my mind as I raised my glass to congratulate all of my friends and myself on our achievement.
I can't think about him now. It's been two years and he is engaged…he doesn't need me.
Tomoyo gave me a small sad smile as she raised her glass to my cheers. I never did tell him how I felt, she always told me I should have. But losing an unrequited love might now be as bad as loosing a real love.
Almost lovers always do
I still love you…
I Hope you all enjoyed this fic, I don't normally write angst fics but this song is so wonderful and beautiful I couldn't help myself. I do hope that some of you may have noticed how I set up Syaoran and his Fiancé, so it's not as horrible as I could have been.
Also the last line is someone thinking, Sakura or Syaoran...i don't know use your imagination because I won't tell.
Please review!!
Again any ideas or songs let me know I will try my hardest.
Riley S
"I never thought I could love anyone but myself.
Now I know I can't love anyone but you." – Ingrid Michaelson "Die Alone."