Apologies for OOC ness. I wrote this while listening to Natasha Bedingifled's "Soulmate". I hope you enjoy the story - I'm off to bed now! (--)zzZZ

"Renji-" I hear Rukia's cry over the pounding of my feet on the pavement - but I don't stop. I run as fast as I can down the street, away from Urahara's place and away from cause of the pain in my chest. I don't care that it's freezing cold and pouring of rain - I just need to get away - escape from my inability to cope with my screwed up emotions. My lungs burn as I keep up the hurried pace. It's times like these that I hate my gigai. It's weak... Just like me... I shake my head and bite my lip as I feel the all to familiar stinging sensation in my eyes. I'm crying... Great... Tears blur my vision along with the heavy rain. It doesn't matter that I can't see properly - I have no idea where I'm going anyway. I'm just running... Always running... Man... I'm such a coward... A stray dog - putting up a brave front, but who is really afraid of everything... My steps falter. And there I was thinking that I had changed... Become stronger... Who was I kidding?

I can't stand the double pain in my chest any longer, so I stop running and bend over, hands on my knees - gasping for breath. I close my eyes momentarily but snap them open as soon as I see the replay of events I just fled from. I choke on a sob, but turn it into a growl. I must have looked like a right idiot - standing in the middle of all those couples... Yeah, they're my friends and all that but... I shake my head and sigh standing up straight after catching my breath and stopping my tears. I shove my hands into my soggy trouser pockets and begin walking again. I can't say that I'm not envious... I soon find myself in Karakura's park which sits on the main hill overlooking the city. Because it's raining - it's empty... Empty... Just like me... Although the pain from running has subsided, the other pain is still there, and is making my chest hurt more than I can bare.

Really, I must be the only one in Soul Society who is not in a relationship... And I never thought it would bother me... But it does!! Really... who doesn't want somebody to hold... Who knows how to love them and all that... I snort almost sadly. You know - everyone has someone who loves them... To care for them and to hold them... I know my friends love me, and care for me in a way, but it aint the same... They're not there at home to welcome me from a hard days work... Home... Home is supposed to be where the heart is- but where the hell is mine? It certainly not in my place... I need someone to comfort me after a hard mission... Ichigo does that... sometimes... When he visits Soul society and stays at mine... I smile a little. Things are always better when he's around... He's always crashing at mine and no-one else's. Probably just because I crash his place now... I don't stop at Urahara's anymore - not after the way he treated me all those times before... The thought of all that man put me thought makes me shiver, and that's when I realise how cold I am... And how drenched. Damn it... I should have at least grabbed my jacket... My black short sleeved shirt is clinging to me like a second skin. Perhaps I should return to Ichigo's. I snort. I can just imagine the look he'll give me if I return to him in my current state... Thinking of it makes my heart tighten. I don't want him to look at me with a look which clearly states that I'm an idiot... I don't think I can deal with it tonight... Not coming from him...

I stroll over to a lone bench and sit myself down. I wonder if I'll get sick if I stay out here all night... I cast my eyes downwards as I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It wouldn't matter if I did... Would it... I'd just go home and care for myself... As I do every other time something's wrong with me... Although Ichigo has insisted on helping me out if he's around... He always seems to know when I'm at my worst... I don't know what I'd do without him... Things always seem more bearable when he's around... And I know why... I think I have for a while actually... I won't deny that I feel something more than friendship towards Ichigo... but... "Ichigo..." My heart flutters as I say his name aloud. It does that a lot. Approaching footsteps and a very familiar reiatsu forces me to focus on them rather than my mull over my feelings some more.

"Renji!!" Ichigo... I ignore his call, pretending I haven't heard him over the falling rain. I know my reaction isn't what he's used to, but I'm tired, and refuse to put up a tough guy front. He comes to stand in front of me, and I have no choice but to recognise his presence. I look up as soon as he blocks my view of Karakura. I take in appearance and realise he is drenched, and wearing as little as I am. I'm confused - Ichigo hate's the rain and he hates being cold. "Ichigo...?" I don't hide the fact that I'm confused as to why he is standing in front of me, looking breathless and drenched. "Everyone's worried about you." He says snappily, ignoring my open question. Oh... Is that all... "Sorry..." I mumble looking away. What was I thinking... I feel the shift in his reiatsu and somehow I don't think he was expecting me to just roll over without defending myself...

I stand with a shiver keeping my eyes trained on the ground. Might as well go back to his and fix myself up... Pull myself together... As I make to move his hand is on my arm stopping me. "Renji..." I hesitantly look up into his eyes, and am surprised to see so many emotions swirling in them. "Ichigo..." "Idiot!" He says sternly. That single word stabs my hear like a knife, and I'm sure the pain it causes is clear in my eyes. I look away, but his other hand reaches out to turn my face back to his. "Do you know how worried I was?!" he says softly. The emotions in his voice stir my heart. "Ichigo... I..." He's looking at me with affection, and something... more... How could I have been so blind? How could I not have realised before... "I'm sorry." I instantly wrap my arms around him and am delighted when his arms wrap around me. How could I have thought I was on my own - He was right in front of me the whole time. He brushes a feather light kiss to my jaw before whispering softly into my ear. "Let's go home." I don't stop the grin that spreads over my face. "Yeah." Home is where the heart is, and I guess, it's always been with him.