Petoria and the Battle for Liberty
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"...What?" America stared at the fat dark-haired man that was standing just outside his door, lips twisted in a slight grimace. He hadn't been expecting someone to just randomly show up at his door, demanding to talk with him.
"I said, I want my freedom!" The man crossed his arms, his multiple chins jutting out as he met America's eyes with what he thought was an intimidating glower.
"Umm..." America dithered for a second, still trying to figure out what the hell this lunatic was doing on his doorstep, "Look, Mr... uh..."
"Petoria." Dear god, could this get any more ludicrous?
America raised a hand to rub at his temples. "You want to be your own nation, right?"
"And I'll fight you for my freedom, like Chuck Norris fought Hitler during the American Revolution!" The man made a gesture that might have been mimicking some kind of kung-fu move... or else he was having a seizure. Either way, there was something disturbing about watching all of those jiggling rolls of fat. America gagged a little.
"That doesn't even make se..." He paused mid-word, then sighed at the futility. "Look, fine. Whatever. You're your own nation. Happy?"
"Ehehehehe" The man gave what was possibly the stupidest sounding laugh in the history of human civilzation. "I did it! I won my freedom. Take that Hitler!" He reached out to high five Chuck Norris, who had appeared out of nowhere for some unholy reason. A fist came out from Chuck Norris's beard, making contact with Petoria's face. The fat nation(?) fell to the ground, rolling around and crying.
America shut the door and slowly locked all the bolts.
-End-
Okay, this was total crack!fic for the Hetalia kink meme. Don't blame me, I just wrote it!