The Subterfuge Won't Last

By Shawn Jones

I guess so I don't get fucked over: Sonic the Hedgehog and all related characters are copyrighted to Service and Games (Sega of America/Japan), DIC entertainment and Archie Comics. These characters are not to be copied or reproduced in any way. Doing so will put you in violation of Title 17 of the US Code regarding Copyright restrictions.

Foreword

I suppose a simple warning is needed: The following story is rated M as it contains dirty shit (language, violence, the works). So this is it, the final chapter of an epic saga. I apparently write in threes, I don't know why but that seems to be the case. If, for some strange reason, you thought my previous stories were outlandish and crude, you're in for it. The Subterfuge Won't Last is a fitting end to the series; that is if I don't go write a fourth one and fuck it all up. I regret to inform you, I don't have anything else witty or clever to say, so enjoy the story.

Shawn Jones

Times Like These

Three days have passed since Sonic and Knuckles saved the Freedom Fighters from Robotnik's evil clutches. Light streamed through Sonic's bedroom window from the early morning sun. He rose out of bed and made his way outside. He found Knuckles sitting at a table under a tree, and went over to join him.

"Hey mate, how's it goin?" Knuckles asked as Sonic took a seat.

"Fuckin swell, how about you?"

"You know me, no worries, just right. After a few days here I've been getting acclimated to it. There is somethin I've been meanin to ask, though."

"Shoot, I've got all the goddamn answers."

"Why is it that Bunnie wears a shirt and panties, while Sally goes around bare assed naked?"

"She does wear that vest every now and again," Sonic replied. "But to answer your question, I really have no fuckin idea. I've told her countless times to cover up, it's just so available. So, do you have the answer?"

"No, it's just a feeling, but I can guess, mate. I think Bunnie has the nicer rack, but doesn't want to show off so as not to embarrass Sally. I'm telling you mate, there are some glorious tits under that shirt. So how about it, you a tit man?"

"Depends on the tits. Speaking of tits, lately Sally has really been stonewalling me when it comes to the innuendo, it just pisses her off," Sonic said. "So I'm going to change it up, and I think I have just the thing."

"Yeah, and what might that be?"

"Let's just say she's coming our way right now."

"Mate, you have no shame at all," Knuckles said, watching Bunnie walk over to them.

"Now what are y'all talking about?" Bunnie asked when she reached them.

"Not much really," Sonic replied. "Can I get you a chair?" He asked, as he pulled a chair around for her.

"Why sure, thanks Hun," Bunnie said smiling, then sat down.

"Anyway, we were just discussing the ins and outs of a few things," Sonic said raising his eyebrows at Bunnie. "Would you like a pretzel?" he asked picking one up. "I baked it myself."

"Well thanks, Sugar," Bunnie said taking the pretzel.

"It goes great with mustard," Sonic said handing her a few packets.

"It has been nice here and all," Knuckles said, trying to change the subject, "But why haven't we held that meetin yet?"

"Well I'm not sure, Sugar," Bunnie answered. "I suppose Sally will hold it when the time is right."

"I, for one, am not really all that bent out of shape over it. All that ever really happens at those meetings is a good insult contest with Antoine, and I always win," Sonic proudly stated.

"You really shouldn't fight with Antoine, Sugar."

"Whatever you say, Sweet Cheeks," Sonic replied.

"What?!" Bunnie exclaimed, just as Sally walked up.

"What's going on guys?" She asked.

"Good day, mate."

"Hi Sally," Bunnie put in.

"Hey."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Whatever bakes your cake," Knuckles responded.

"So what are we talking about?" Sally inquired.

"We were just sitting around, drinking it all in," Sonic answered.

"Drinking it all in?" Sally puzzled. She looked to Bunnie, who just shrugged her shoulders. She received the same response from Knuckles. "Anyway, has anyone seen Tails today?"

"No, and I'm hoping it stays that way. I can do without the retardation for a day…" Sonic was interrupted.

"You really should be nicer to Tails, Hun," Bunnie interjected. Sonic just smiled, putting a hand on her leg, and then winked at her.

"Busy day, I've got to be going now," Sonic said getting up. Sally turned to Bunnie as soon as Sonic was gone.

"What was that all about?"

"I don't know, Sugar, he was doing it the whole time I was here. I thought he was just being nice. To be honest it didn't really bother me."

"Well yeah, he did everything but fuck you right here," Sally replied.

"Buttfuck?" Tails asked, as he flew over to the table.

"Goddamn it Tails, you weren't supposed to hear that…" Sally began.

"Why would Sonic buttfuck Auntie Bunnie?" Tails continued.

"That bloke's quite humorous," Knuckles chuckled to himself.

"You just heard it wrong…" Sally tried to explain.

"Who is ze buttfucking?" Antoine asked, joining the others.

"Nobody is…"

"I heard buttfuck," Rotor said interrupting Sally yet again.

"No, what happened was…oh fuck it," Sally said angrily. "All I did was use 'but' and 'fuck' together in a sentence, Tails was just confused."

"I don't know about zis, it is to be hard to confuse zat with ze buttfuck," Antoine pointed out.

"Yeah really, but fuck and buttfuck are two totally different things. They're not even in the same realm of context," Rotor informed.

"Well it was Tails that got em confused. He's not exactly the full quid, mate," Knuckles stated.

"Thank you Knuckles, it was just a literary mix up. Nothing against Tails, he just mistook what I said," Sally explained.

"That offers the question, why were but and fuck used in the same sentence?" Rotor inquired.

"It's no one's business that wasn't here when I said them. But now that everyone is here…"

"Not Sonic," Tails broke in.

"I am well aware of that Tails," Sally responded patiently. "We should go over the plan I've been putting together, say in a few minutes. Maybe you guys will come up with some good ideas, maybe."

"Someone should tell Sonic," Tails said.

"Yes, someone should," Sally replied, gritting her teeth. "Bunnie, why don't you go over and tell Sonic? You guys seem to be getting along so famously."

"Sure thing, Hun," Bunnie said frowning, then got up and left.

"Auntie Bunnie isn't going to get buttfucked, is she?"