Burnt Out

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Disclaimer: I don't own!

Ch1: The Housewife

Kathy's POV

These last couple weeks Elliot his been home a lot more at first I thought he was in trouble because he was miserable but he wasn't. And then the strangest thing happened a few days ago and keeps occurring I don't know what to make of it.

We were having family game night, a night that our marriage counselor recommends, Elliot's phone rang and he didn't answer it. In a regular household this probably doesn't seem that big but in the Stabler household this is huge.

Him and I were watching a movie it wasn't anything special it was just time between me and him. Which is a rarity but he looked really disappointed to have to leave he even apologized. He apologizes sometimes but this one just seemed so sincere I almost cried when he left.

When I said he was miserable, he's just miserable before he goes to work and just a little afterwards. I've been starting to think he hates the job. The job he's sacrificed so much for and risks his life for or as he puts it sells a piece of his soul for.

I'm happy he's been home I really have been it's nice to set his plate for dinner and for him to enjoy it with us.

Tonight I'm making his favorite Salisbury steak and potatoes with no veggies he's a meat and potatoes kind of guy he has never been a fan of veggies. I just came back from the grocery store and I have just enough time to bring the groceries inside before the twins come home. I let Eli out and he runs into the yard kicking his ball I would yell for him to come back but he's been a royal pain today.

"Eli come inside. Come help mommy" he runs over taking a small bag. As a mother of five and a housewife of 26 some years you start to develop talents like being able to hold five bags of groceries and being able to unlock the door at the same time.

Afterwards I bring Eli back outside to let him run around I drink some tea and read. He kicks the ball into the road.

"Eli!" I say as Elliot pulls in. "Elliot!" I run to giving him a hug he hasn't been home before the twins in a long time.

"Hey" he said picking up Eli giving me a kiss on the cheek "did I beat the twins?" he says kissing me with a little extra passion. He's wearing a hoodie and jeans not the clothes he left in this morning.

"Yea... Is everything ok?" I asked he smelt like antibacterial soap not a good smell almost like a doctor.

"There was an incident at the station house"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine"

"Can I ask what happened?"

"A rookie didn't search a perp good and he stabbed another person... That's one less perv we gotta worry about" he's so desensitized from all the violence and horrors he sees he doesn't even realize how bad it is anymore. I'm left speechless how do I react to a comment like that. "I didn't mean to bombard you like that... Ah so what did you do today?" he said sitting on the swing hissing a little.

"I just did a little shopping, read part of a book... You know average boring house wife stuff" he smiles and puts an arm around me so I can snuggle against him. Eli comes up and climbs up on Elliot's lap.

"Hi dada" he says and starts babbling on telling a story it's cute. I smile. I look at Elliot his expression isn't the same as mine he looks scared as he looks at Eli as if he was a victim. He shakes his head before playing with Eli.

"Are you alright?"

"...yea... Yea" he said pulling Eli close "I'm going to put him down for a nap"

About fifteen minutes late I peek in the room and I see Elliot just watching Eli sleep.

"Elliot he's fine"

"I know... I know" the door bell rings and Elliot's head turn like a hawk.

"Relax... It's Tina" I kiss him on the cheek he's a little shook up to say the least.

"How is everything?" Tina asked in a thick New York accent.

"Good"

"Why are you so giddy?"

"Elliot came home early" I said blushing.

"So a little afternoon delight?" Tina said raising an eyebrow.

"No. He just came home maybe twenty minutes ago"

"Hey never question the skills of an aged married couple"

"Aged?"

"Yea! Who stays married for 25 years? What are you the Brady's?" she said laughing.

"It's been 26 years and we are definitely not the Brady's"

"You're right I don't think the Brady's were religious" Tina and I start laughing. "Why is he home?"

"There was an incident at the station. Someone got stabbed"

"What?"

"Rookie missed it" I say Tina's husband is a captain in a robbery unit in queens.

"Travis was telling me that they are getting greener each day" it's a scaring thing to think about. "But anyway... How is everything?"

"It's good" last time I talked to Tina I told her I was worried about Elliot.

"Hey Tina" Elliot says sitting next to me.

"Hello Elliot how are you?"

"You know gotta take it a day at a time"

"I hear that. Well, I'll see you love birds tomorrow" Tina said Elliot and I said goodbye in unison.

Elliot puts his arm around me and releases a deep breath. I rub his stomach.

"What is on your mind, El?"

"Nothing just thinking about today" since Elliot and I have reconciled we went to a marriage counselor and we learned how to work with each other without going crazy.

The counselor suggested we step up our own date night for us and game night with the family. Wednesday nights, it's strange having a date night in the middle of the week but it was the best weekends always seemed busy for Elliot. So far we gone out to eat, seen plays and movies.

I don't nag him about the horrors he sees in a work day. In fact when we were separated I went on a few dates and the men just unloaded there life stories and I didn't like that. It was certainly different and not a good different. I love my Elliot, the man who is a great father, great man, and wonderful husband even if he bottles everything inside because he's scared to tell me and think I'll runaway. I reassure him all the time that it won't happen ever and he opens up a little bit every now and then.

That night... I like being able to fall asleep in my husband arms however I know when I wake up he will be leaving or already gone.

I feel him leave the bed I look at the clock 3:34am he is doing a patrol checking on the kids watching them sleep. I didn't hear his phone ring so he's not leaving or not yet at least.

I drift back off to sleep but wake up shortly later he is sitting on the end of the bed. His mind is racing. I put my arm around him and lightly kiss his neck. I look over his shoulder and see a packet and a brochure in his hand I can't see what it says though.

"I didn't wake you did I?" he whispers kissing my cheek.

"No... What do you have?" he moves and hands it to me I rest against his strong body as he rests his head on my shoulder. In big letters on the brochure it says 'retirement and your pension'

"How would you like it if I was home more?" he says quietly looking directly in my eyes. His phone rings he looks at it and then back at me.

"I would love it... But is this what you want?"

"I don't know... I think so..."

Reviews Please. Is this something Elliot really wants to do or is he being pressured into it?