A/N: this story is post-mockingjay. It starts one hour after Peeta plants primroses on Katniss' front yard. Please review and comment any ideas you have for it!

Peeta

"Come on Haymitch I don't have time for this". I said to him throwing a pillow in his face after he again tried to stab me with his knife. I then take away the whisky bottle in his hand and his eyes flutter open. "It's 3 O'clock for god's sake Haymitch get up!" I was not in the mood for this and he could see that.

"Something wrong lover boy?" he asks, not really caring what I answer. It's been like that ever since the day I told him I would never forgive him for saying "Yes" to the Hunger Games Coin proposed. But he knows I'll never stop caring enough to stop coming over each day and make sure he's still alive. Anyways, he and Katniss are the only ones I have now, and we are all going mad too. So everything's fine. This thought makes me smile. I turn to face Haymitch and he's still looking at me waiting for an answer.

"We have a meeting in 30 minutes in house four", House four is another empty Victor's Village house. Which is ridiculous since there won't be any more victors, anyone could live there. "Effie is here with some important message from the capitol so get ready".

I set some eggs and bread in a plate and hand it to him. Make sure he eats and then leave, go to Katniss' backyard and finish planting the primroses I had been working on earlier when she so harshly dismissed me.

I do this not only because I want her to feel happier, but to catch her attention. I miss her of course, but it is like I'm only the boy with the bread all over again. Like she's nice to me because she somehow feels that she owes something to me. Which is ridiculous. I owe to her my existence and happiness.

After I finish I allow myself inside, knowing she is probably sitting in her chair, lifelessly staring out the window and into Victor's Village.

"Katniss?" I call out and as I suspected she is sitting in her chair staring out the window, but to my surprise she is already dressed for the meeting. It hurts seeing her like this. It hurts in a way I can't bare. Rips my heart apart because she pushes me away, and each time a little further. "Oh, you're already dr-"

"Effie called", She says "Thank you, Peeta".

Hate this. Hate it. It's like we are nothing. Like she didn't kiss me begging for me to stay with her.

But I can't let go.

"Katniss.."

"I know what you are gonna say Peeta".

"Well then let me say it", but she doesn't want to hear it. She has, many times since we came back. "Listen, you know I love you. Madly. And I'll never go anywhere, I'll never leave you", my eyes were filled with tears. The thought of ever leaving her breaks me. I dropped my head so she wouldn't see me tear. "But don't push me away". I finally said.

"I'm sorry". She said as she buried her face in my chest.

Katniss

"Katniss?" calls Effie. She has a bright red wig, which matches with her bright red lips. Always calling for attention but not as exaggerated as usual. We all changed after the revolution.

"Katniss" calls Haymitch shaking my arm.

"Are you okay with it?" asks Effie. I finally react.

"Okay with what?" I ask, not knowing what they were talking about. After what Peeta just said to me, I couldn't listen to anyone but him and think how I could never deserve as much of 10 percent of what he is. How I will never be able to repay all that he has done for me, how I'll never be able to make it up to him for the times that I've hurt him and turned him down. And that makes me feel extremely guilty, because I've hurt him so many times even though I do want him with me, but I can never allow myself to be with him like that. It would be selfish because I can never marry him. I can never be a good wife, or mother. He deserves a happy life, and I can't provide that.

"Okay with us going to the Capitol". Says Haymitch, somewhat annoyed. He enjoys this meeting as little as it gets. Just like me.

"Um…" I mumble because I have no idea what they are talking about.

Haymitch rolls his eyes.

"Look, Commander Paylor wants to have celebration of the rebellion. They are going to change the capitol's seal with a Mockingjay. They are going to present the nation's flag, which too will be a Mockingjay. And they want you and Peeta to present as a symbol of a new nation", he explains "and our Mockingjay can't fail to go.

I feel horrified by the thought of going back to the place where Prim was killed. Her name makes me want to cry, but this is not the time or place.

"I'll go".

"Perfect! Tomorrow will arrive your prep team and we will review the schedule". Says Effie, exited as always.

I stood up, turned to look into Peeta's eyes, notifying it was time to go. Said goodbye and walked through the door with Peeta behind me.

"Are you okay with going?" he asks, obviously concerned. "We can stay if you want".

"No it's okay. I want to see my mom", I smile to him while we walk to my house "She needs me now that Prim's not here". And suddenly tears run trough my cheeks and even though it's dark, he can sense this so he stops me and takes them away with his finger and puts both my hands in his.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" he says with pain in his eyes. He doesn't want to be alone and neither do I.

"Yes", I answer relieved that he asked. We go inside my house and I find Buttercup.

"Goodnight cat". I tell him. We've been nicer to each other since Prim left. We now understand each other a little better. We go upstairs and I go into the bathroom and change and he does the same. We climb into bed and almost reflexively I burry myself on his body as he puts his arms around me. I sink into sleep only to let nightmares overtake me.

I was in the meadow with Gale talking about running away just before the reaping of my first Hunger Games, but then, when I turn to face him he's not there anymore. "Gale?" I start looking for him but can't find him. I start running through the woods until I see Peeta. He's standing next to a tree with a rope collar around his neck. He has another rope collar in his hand, as if handing it to me. I start walking towards him and what I suspect to be the hanging tree when I hear Gale's voice yelling to me; "Don't do it! Don't do it!"

I stop to consider this, take a look at Gale and consider going with him -

And I go back to consciousness.