Prompt: I was listening to songs when an idea popped into my head. I decided to write a fic from the idea I get from the next song on the playlist. The song was Headlights: Nate Ruess ft. Eminem and BAMM! I began typing. I hope you like this. This is a one shot written in a rush. Tell me how it came out.

From: Takumi

To: Patricia Walker

…

Mother,

I trust your journey was at ease. I had told Aaron to personally escort you back to the Raven Castle. I hope you are doing fine. I'm sorry for the inconvenience of not finding Us, at home, when you visited. We were in Tokyo, for Christmas. Misaki is doing fine, so are the kids. I told them their Grandmother said hello.

Well, Good day to you.

…

And,

Happy New Year.

—Takumi.

I don't know what to sign my name with to end this letter, Takumi Walker? Takumi Usui? Takumi Hirose? I don't know. Use whatever sounds more pleasant to your ears.

Forgive me for lengthening this letter, I know that letters are an ancient method of communication when I can just email, or text you on your phone. Well, I would have, if I had your number (No, I do not need it, so don't go through the pains of sending me your contact information).

I write this letter as I sit next to my wife, in front of the fireplace, in my in-law's home on Christmas. Tsumi Rose Walker, your granddaughter, is now two years old. Yuusuke George Walker, your grandson, has turned five this year. I thought of informing you in case you were wondering (and if you weren't, just ask your maids to burn this piece of paper).

This Christmas, I realized something, thanks to Misaki. She made me see what I couldn't, until I became a parent myself. Here's a confession, I hated you. Yes. I hated you, when I was a child. It wasn't my own fault, I knew nothing of my mother. I was alone—imprisoned in a castle far off country side of England. I wasn't even allowed to go to school back then—private tutoring was all I had. I knew nothing about parental love. I only saw your pictures, not even your face. My father, a Japanese man, was nowhere to be found. I realized, that I was a mere product of your stupid mistake—a one night stand. A result of lust, an affair, a slip-up. I also supposed that even my father didn't care about me, I was nothing but a nuisance, as grandfather so creatively put it.

But over the course of time, my anger and hatred turned into impassiveness. My heart was numb and cold, but it was revived when I left for Japan and became Usui Takumi, an imposter. I fell in love, Mom. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Misaki, she made me feel alive in this dead world. Do you understand this strange feeling? That warm feeling that sits in the pit of your stomach? That knowledge of knowing that yes you are loved. I trust you know this feeling by now, since your journal revealed how you experienced the same thing with my father, Yuu Hirose. (Cedric told me about my real father when I was dragged back to England, when Gerard fell ill and Grandfather couldn't continue running the Walker Corp. I was "trained" to be the Walker Heir, I know you know nothing about this, since you had ran away when I was born and faked your own death—how brave of you, Mother). Regardless, I was happy, content. The only remembrance that I had of you now was the persistent Gerard—my stepbrother. Your legal son. I didn't care much about him or Grandfather, but I had to, when I was told I had to come back. I had to leave the love of my love back in Japan, with a promise of forever. A promise that I would be back for her. And she waited. She is a strong willed woman, Mom. Maybe someday you can meet her and see for yourself.

It was in Raven Castle when Cedric approached me and told me about my real parents. I remember keeping a stoic façade and telling him I don't care. But when I had your journal in my hands, I finally understood you.

I understood what you felt when I was made the official heir of the Walker fortune. Grandfather was pleased, and Gerard was pissed, even though he was the heir of Edward's fortune (Your legally wedded husband, Edward? I think you must remember him, Mother. He's a good man, I've found a friend in him, how strange, isn't it?). I knew the pressure and the chains you must have felt when you were named heir.

The weight of tradition and heritage.

The weight of keeping the head of Walker Corp high.

I finally understood why you made mistakes, I understood your pain. And now, I feel heartbroken for the fact that you were separated from your true love. I would have left everything if I was separated from Misaki forever too. Grandfather did try to marry me to some rich heiress, but I had bluntly refused. Even Gerard had done some planning and plotting against my sakes (Dear brother despises me, but I would have done the same if I were him. How wretched must he have felt when he must have heard about me—an illegal son, a bastard? NO child would ever tolerate their parents having an extra marital affair. He doesn't understand you like I can till now. I hope you both resolve your issues). I didn't feel hostility about Gerard after I realized why he hated me. I hope he finds solace soon.

Anyway,

I was angry to hear that you were alive, and back in Raven Castle. I felt angry and hurt. It was the same feeling I had felt every day as a child. The feeling of being unwanted. The feeling of being nothing. I thought you would at least have tried to contact me if you knew I was alive. Hell, I didn't even know if you knew I existed. Tell me, mom, did you think I was dead by now? I must assure you I am not that weak willed. ;)

But I just might have gone ahead and tried to kill myself when I was in England. I had moved out to another mansion as soon as I was made heir. I lied that I needed to concentrate on my work but in truth I couldn't stay in the same place as the Walker family anymore. I would have killed myself, if it weren't for the last ray of hope in my life, my one last shot at happiness, the love of my life. Misaki Ayuzawa. She had become a very successful and famous diplomat. She was my strength, my will to live on. She has given me a life, a will to live, a reason to be happy, two beautiful children.

So yes, I was angry, mad, hurt, broken when I heard you were back. But today, when I was informed that you had visited, Misaki made me realize that you needed time. Time from it all. She made me forgive you, mom. She made me realize that it wasn't your fault and I shouldn't hold on to grudges.

Let me take another moment to apologize, if my actions hurt you. I'm sorry I shut you out. I'm sorry you weren't invited to our wedding. I'm sorry I kept you away from my life—my family. I'm sorry you didn't get to watch your grandchildren be born. I'm sorry if you don't even know my wife, and her parents. I'm sorry. But know this, I will love you from a distance. For you are, my mother. And I hope we can get to know each other properly for who we are. I hope that when I see your real face—not your images and portraits—from my own eyes, that you will accept me, and I will accept you. I hope one day we can be a proper family. I hope that my children will get to know their grandmother one day.

And lastly, to end this madness,

Thank you, for giving birth to me.

Thank you, for giving me a chance to live.

Thank you for naming me Takumi.

( P.S: Misaki says hello. )

Love-Takumi.

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