It was a snowy night and I was a bit buzzed, the party had been great! Christmas was in four days and we were both exited. Sora was in the passenger seat bouncing up and down still too high on life to come down. What happens next I still haven't forgiven myself for, like I said I was buzzed and was driving too fast I hit a patch of ice and spun out, rolling into the ditch on the side of the road. the passenger side encountered a tree and crumpled on impact. "Roxas?" "Sora! I'm here" I managed to make my mouth say. I felt for his hand and found it "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I forced out as my brain went fuzzy the last thing I saw as I passed out was Sora's face smile and him saying "it's not your fault" my sleep was painful and confusing full of loud noise and bright light I was semi-aware of adults yelling and the pain that saturated my body. All I could think of was Sora, my baby brother, I just hoped he was okay.

I woke up from the dream to see an unfamiliar doctor standing over me, he was middle aged with a goatee and huge smile "good to see you awake again" "how long was I out?"

"About a month"

"And Sora?"

"he fell into a coma were working on reviving him, also you lost something" my left hand was gone completely, it just wasn't there. The news about Sora and the shock of losing my hand sent me under again.

A few days later I was discharged, but I still had to go see a counselor once a week. He did nothing, nothing at all. I was still going to school .my teachers expected me to be the same kid as before. I got in fights with my friends, I blamed life, so I planned on ending it. My note was simple:

I'm not the same person any more,

I AM ME

I know everyone would rather Sora came home and I stayed

I AM NOT SORA

But there I'm just hiding inside, and not wanting to come out.

I AM STILL ROXAS

I'm sorry…

Three days later my parents went out. I waited 10 minutes and went to the bathroom got in the tub turned on the water so the blood would wash down the drain. I took the knife and slit my wrists. Blood started flowing freely, I felt dizzy, I started trashing about and yelling, this isn't what I wanted I screamed inside my head but at that moment I was so scared I couldn't speak coherently. Minuets, maybe seconds, maybe hours passed and I was slipping away. I was going to end up doing what I set out to do. as I stared at the stump of my left hand and mentally prepared myself to die, when I heard my parents get in using the last of my strength I yelled. I passed out just as my father gently lifted me from the tub. Slipping quietly into oblivion