Okay, time for a little Kristanna fun. This story was inspired by a prompt on Tumblr: Imagine your OTP having a belching contest that eventually devolves into laughter. This is something I can totally picture Anna and Kristoff doing, much to Elsa's despair!
Side note: Krumkake and pikekyss are traditional Norwegian desserts: krumkake is a waffle cookie filled with whipped cream, while pikekyss are baked meringues. Gløgg, as you may already know, is a hot mulled wine native to Norway.
There's also a nod to I Love Lucy in here - see if you can find it! Also, who do you think wins the belching contest?
Burp!
"Anna!"
Despite the icy blue glare aimed in her direction over the dinner table, Princess Anna of Arendelle couldn't help the giggle that rose to her throat. "Sorry, Elsa," she chuckled, placing a hand over her mouth. "I guess I drank my gløgg a little too fast."
"Well... don't glug your gløgg and you won't burp."
The admonition didn't help. The words glug your gløgg only sent Anna into another giggle fit, followed by yet another rude belch. Upon noticing her sister's knitted eyebrows, though, she grinned endearingly and raised her fingers to her lips again. "Excuse me."
"Anna..."
"I'm sorry; I just couldn't help it. That thing about glugging my gløgg was too funny."
At last, Queen Elsa of Arendelle cracked a smile. As queen, she had long been instructed to be a kind and just, yet serious, ruler. She firmly believed that no one would take her seriously if she acted like a clown, so she daily put on the cloak of a poised, punctual, and dignified young woman. More than that, though, she wanted to be a good role model for her sister. Anna had always been much more on the wild side and a bit of a bull in a china shop, while Elsa had trained all her life to be the "picture of sophisticated grace." Never did she think she was funny at all, but now, here was Anna telling her that she, the Snow Queen, had made her laugh. "You thought that was funny?"
"Yeah! Glug, gløgg. They sound alike. Glug. Gløgg. Glug glug gløgg."
"Now you sound like Gerda's teapot."
"See? You are funny, Elsa! No wonder you and Kristoff get along so well; you both really know how to zing people when they're being silly."
The mention of Anna's beau suddenly reminded Elsa of how this entire conversation got started. "I'm glad you think I'm funny, Anna, really, I am. However, you can't just burp like that in public, especially not at the dinner table."
Anna looked from one end of the table to the other. "But it's only us here. Olaf's in the stables with Sven, and Kristoff won't be back from the mountains until late tonight. The only people who might hear me burping are Kai and Gerda, and they've been hearing me burp for nineteen years. I really don't think it's gonna bother them."
Elsa rolled her eyes. "Okay, maybe not, but still, what if it wasn't just us here? What if dignitaries from visiting kingdoms were sitting here at this table, eating a state dinner with us, and all of a sudden, you let out a belch just as we're serving the krumkake and pikekyss? Better yet, what if Kristoff were here? What do you think he'd say if you let rip a loud, nasty belch in front of him?"
"He'd laugh! And then he'd give me a high-five and burp even louder! And then he'd get Sven to join in!"
As much as she wanted to laugh at the very thought of a burping reindeer, Elsa kept her queenly countenance and big sister persona frozen in place. "All right, Smarty Pants, then go ahead and do it."
"Do it?"
"Yes! Have dinner with Kristoff tomorrow night, just the two of you. While you're eating, belch as loud as you can and see what his reaction is."
"Okay, I will!"
Elsa started. She had said that purely to try and make a point to Anna, but she had forgotten one thing: never dare Anna to do something, because she would just go right ahead and do it. "Anna, I was kidding!"
"Sounded more like a dare to me."
"Who's daring who to do what to who?"
Both sisters turned as a little white figure trotted into the dining room, his snow cloud raining down a gentle flurry on his head. "Hi, Olaf!" Anna greeted the snowman, who came to a halt in front of the table. "Elsa just dared me to burp in front of Kristoff."
"No, no, no," Elsa groaned, waving her hands in the air, "I didn't dare you. I thought I was trying a little reverse psychology, but apparently, I'm not very good at it." The queen laid her head in her hand and sighed. "All right, Anna. If you want to burp Kristoff out of the castle, you have my blessing."
Anna burst out laughing. "A blessing to belch? Boy, there's a first." She hopped up from her chair, skipped over to her sister, and threw her arms around Elsa's neck. "Thanks for the boost, Elsa."
"It wasn't a boost – oh, talk to yourself, Elsa," the queen muttered, slapping her hand to her forehead again as Anna skipped out of the dining room. "It's none of your business if your sister wants to burp like a sailor."
A beat of silence passed before Olaf piped up. "I can't burp... or fa-"
"Olaf!"
The next night, the atmosphere in the dining room reflected pure elegance. Anna was clad in a gown of black velvet and emerald silk, while Kristoff, having been told that it was a formal dinner date, was freshly scrubbed (thanks to some coaxing from Elsa) and dressed in a dark blue tunic, black pants, and a scarlet sash. So far, the date had gone without a hitch, while the couple dined on hot soup and a delicious roast and talked about Kristoff's latest ice-harvesting trip and the goings-on at the castle. So far, it seemed as though Anna had forgotten all about Elsa's "dare."
She hadn't. Right after the cooks served the krumkake and refreshed their mugs of gløgg, Anna watched Kristoff dig into his dessert and grinned. Now I just have to wait for the right forkful of krumkake. After a minute or so, he scooped up a huge piece and stuffed it into his mouth. Perfect. She raised her mug of gløgg to her lips, took a big gulp, and worked up a burp. The resulting sound burst out of her mouth so loudly and rudely that Kristoff's reaction was even better than Anna had expected. He jumped about three feet in his chair and nearly choked on his krumkake, the crumbs of which flew across the table in soggy chunks as he hacked. Anna waited for Kristoff to stop coughing and pounding his broad chest before speaking. "Excuse me," she said politely, flashing him an innocent smile.
Kristoff gaped like a codfish. "Anna? That was you?"
Anna held her hands out at her sides. "There's nobody else in this room. Who'd you think it was? Elsa?"
Kristoff sank back in his chair, still in a state of shock. "Wow," he said, almost to himself, his voice completely flat. "Wow."
Hearing how blank and dead his voice sounded, Anna's heart began to sink. Elsa was right. Kristoff is shocked. Darn it, I shouldn't have tried it. Why couldn't I act like a lady for once?
As Anna was mentally ranting to herself, the air was suddenly cracked by a loud, long, obnoxious belch. She came crashing back to Earth to behold Kristoff staring right at her, gløgg in hand and a triumphant smile on his face. "How do you like them apples?" he asked smugly.
Immediately, Anna's heart shot back up again and her face split into a brilliant grin. "Is that a challenge?"
"Oh, baby, you know it!"
Anna laughed with relief. "So, you're not disgusted?"
"Disgusted? Heck, no!" Kristoff's eyes were shining with admiration. "Anna, I was just surprised that I've never heard you burp like that before. You're awesome!"
The laughter intensified. "You think that was awesome? How's this?" Anna took another swig of gløgg and burped even louder than before.
Kristoff snickered. "Just a warm-up." BURP!
"I've heard Sven do better." BURP!
"Hey, I've beaten him before, and I can beat you at burping, too!" BURP!
BURP!
BURP!
BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRPPPPPPPP!
"What in the HECK!"
Anna clamped her mouth shut at the end of her Magnitude 8 belch and she and Kristoff both whipped around in their chairs like a pair of whirling dervishes. There stood Elsa, looking as though she had just been slammed in the face with a custard pie. As a matter of fact, not since the Freeze had Anna seen her sister look so flabbergasted. "Elsa?"
Utterly speechless, Elsa shook her head at the pair of them. "What is going on in here?"
Anna and Kristoff gazed at each other, then back at Elsa, unsure of what to say. "Uh..." Anna began, fumbling for the right words.
Kristoff was no more articulate. "Uh..."
Elsa rolled her eyes. "Well, you've both got the same answer."
Suddenly, Anna and Kristoff saw the funny side of the whole thing, and they burst into uncontrollable roars of laughter. They laughed, chuckled, and giggled until the dinner table shook with their mirth, while Elsa just stood on the sidelines and watched, arms folded and her own mouth twitching. "Oh, Elsa," Anna finally choked out once she had caught her breath, "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were there."
"I wasn't. I heard you in my study and came running. Heaven only knows what the rest of the castle thought. Probably that Sven had found himself a girlfriend." When that only set the couple off again, Elsa at last smiled. "All right, I forgive you this once – if you'll forgive me."
"Forgive you? For what?" Anna asked, suddenly curious.
"For assuming that Kristoff didn't know you as well as he does. It's clear to me now that he does know you very well – and that he's not asking you to change just to please him."
"With all due respect, Elsa, no way," Kristoff replied, rising from his chair, striding to Anna, and placing an arm around her shoulders. "I love her just the way she is."
Anna grinned up at him. "I love you too, honey," she said, standing on tiptoe to kiss him on the lips. She then directed her smile at Elsa. "Thanks, Elsa. I promise, I won't burp during any important dinners. Family dinners, though... I'm not making any promises."
Elsa gave Kristoff a mock-fierce look. "What about you? Does this mean I'm gonna have to listen to a belching symphony during dinner from now on?"
Kristoff just chuckled. "Hey, you know what they say: better out than in," he said, leaning in to kiss Anna soundly once again.