Title: Down to Earth

Author: Jammeke

Summary: After the Siege, Elizabeth has yet another mission to accomplish. This story offers a different perspective on her break-up with Simon. Sheppard/Weir, AU.

AN: I started this story a while ago, and I never got around to finishing it. Because of an inspiring review from ancientesha, I've decided to pick up where I left off. I don't have a beta, any mistakes are my own.

Down to Earth

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your live flies, only time?
And who can say why your heart cries
when your love lies, only time?

Once she was outside, she paused for a moment, not knowing what to do.

Elizabeth wasn't used to not knowing what to do. She was used to being calm and reasonable; to be the voice of reason and to act as she saw fit. Her diplomatic nature had always been something she could rely on.

But at this very moment, everything she'd once stood for didn't seem that logical to her anymore. Over the past year, she had come to realize that she was only human and that words alone weren't enough to solve every situation.

On top of that, much as it pained her to admit this, she knew that she would not be standing here if it wasn't for the armed soldiers who'd come with her to the Pegasus galaxy. Elizabeth never would've thought herself capable of relying on the quick and easy solution gunfire provided. Somewhere along the way, she'd learnt to accept that violence was sometimes necessary in order to save people's lives.

If only gunshots could help her convince Simon to let her go.

Here she was; standing in front of the house she'd once called home. The house hadn't changed visibly; in fact, it was exactly how she remembered it. And yet, she felt like a visitor to her own house or – better yet – a museum. Nothing, not even a chair or a closet had been moved since her departure. Everything about the house was remarkably well preserved. It felt like the entire place was a monument to her.

Simon had not moved on like she'd told him to on the videotape. This made the situation even more complicated.

Deciding she couldn't just stand here forever, Elizabeth's gaze settled on the car she'd used to get here. The vehicle was her only connection to SGC right now. She could just open the door, step inside and be on her way. It would be so easy to drive away from this conflict.

Making a snap decision, she walked over to the left side of the car, opened the door and sat down. As she plugged in the key, doubt entered her mind. Could she really do this to Simon? If she left right now, she might end up despising herself for the rest of her life.

Much as she wanted to at the moment, she couldn't turn her back on the man inside the house. Simon wasn't a wraith she could run away from; he was a decent human being who deserved – and probably was in need of – an explanation.

Still, how could she soften the blow for him? How could she explain to him that their relationship couldn't work anymore? How was she to go about telling him that they didn't fit as well as they had before? Come to think of it, had they ever truly fit?

One year ago, she wouldn't have doubted the strength of their relationship. Even now that she was about to break up with the man, Elizabeth knew that she still cared for him. How could she not? He'd always treated her right; shown her nothing but respect and genuine love.

Elizabeth also knew that she had other considerations now. Her mother had once told her that love needed time to blossom. Elizabeth had waited for her love for Simon to lift her to a new level of happiness, but that moment had never come. She was done waiting for affection to turn into love.

A lot had changed.

No, that wasn't true. Strictly speaking, only one thing had changed. Elizabeth had changed. Atlantis had changed Elizabeth. She had learned to live with the fear that she might not live to see another day. Fear for her own life had taught her to appreciate the time she'd been given – the life she'd been given, fragile though it might be.

Simon wouldn't understand. He loved Doctor Weir, diplomat Weir – he'd never met the woman she'd become. The gentle doctor would never fully grasp why she now believed it was necessary to attend negotiations with well–armed soldiers at her side. He would never understand that sometimes, she had no choice but to let lives slip away.

She understood the way he would undoubtedly react to the new Dr. Weir. She had long considered herself to be a pacifist as well. But she had come to realize that not everything in life was black and white, and this realization was one of the reasons why it wouldn't work with Simon anymore. For a relationship to work, she needed someone she could confide in.

The front door opened to reveal Simon.

Elizabeth took a deep breath. This was it. She was going to tell him she couldn't be in a relationship with him anymore. This time, she would not allow herself to be swayed by his pleas and exasperation.

Scraping together whatever courage she had left, she got out of the car.

Simon didn't say anything. He just stood there, watching her silently.

Why couldn't he be mad? Why wasn't he yelling at her? Why wasn't he throwing things in her direction? She knew full well Simon wasn't an aggressive man, but it would be so much easier to deal with anger than hurt and disappointment. Disappointment was the worst emotion she'd ever faced. She hated feeling like she'd failed people.

Elizabeth started towards him, but made sure there was a safe distance between them when she came to a halt. Standing face to face with him was something she didn't think she could handle right now.

"Simon."

It was as good a start as any. Or as bad a start as any, given the circumstances.

"Elizabeth."

The tenderness in his voice made her shiver.

"Simon, before I say anything else, I want you to know that I truly care about you. You are a kind, compassionate man and I will forever be grateful for getting the chance to get to know you. Whatever I'm about to say will not change that."

Ever the diplomat.

"I am not sure I like the sound of that."

Elizabeth found herself agreeing with him. He was right to be weary, for he knew what she was about to say. She knew this for a fact, because she'd already tried to explain the situation to him a few minutes earlier. It hadn't worked out like she'd hoped it would, but Simon was smart enough to grasp what she'd been trying to tell him.

Suddenly, she was overcome by a wave of irritation. If Simon knew what she was trying to do, why did he have to make this so difficult on her? Why did he have to put her through this a second time?

"Believe me, you don't."

Snappy.

She sighed. "Look," she continued, "I need to get back there, Simon. I need to get back to Atlantis. I am the leader of the people I work with and I'm not about to let them down. Please don't try to convince me to stay. You will most definitely be wasting your breath, and I'd hate to be the cause of that."

"But I want you to stay," Simon said, fixing her with an intense look. "Can I at least make an effort? You deserve an effort, Elizabeth... I can't let you walk away from me. Not like this."

Not like this, she thought, feeling strangely exasperated. Then how did she have to act for him to let her go?

It was silent for a while.

"What if I came with you to this Atlantis?"

She'd been hoping he wouldn't say that. Oh, she'd really hoped he wouldn't. Now how could she turn him down without breaking his heart?

Suddenly, the image of a face appeared in her mind. It wore a solemn expression, but its eyes were twinkling and the corners of its mouth were slightly tugged upwards. She watched as the mouth opened to speak.

"So, here's what we know. The Chief of this village is eager to get his hands on our C4 and he's definitely going to try to talk you into giving it to him for free. Needless to say, you're not going to do that. We want at least half of his harvest, right? All right. If he starts giving you trouble, you just fix him with one of those stern looks you're so good at. Don't worry; you're a natural at looking resolute, so you probably won't have to intimidate him too much. All you have to do is stand there and look confident, which basically means you have to act like the Elizabeth Weir I know. You've talked yourself out of stickier situations than this one, Elizabeth. You'll be fine."

"I wouldn't want you to," she said resolutely. Studying his fallen expression, she added, "I am sorry, Simon. I've made my decision."

Why did she feel ashamed of being proud of that?

It would have been easier to blame their break–up on the fact that she was going back to the Pegasus Galaxy soon. It wouldn't have hurt as much. Instead, she'd chosen to tell him the truth. She'd told him that things were over between them because she was done with their relationship. Now he knew that prospect of a long–distance relationship had nothing to do with her decision.

Maybe it was better this way.

"I see."

Two words. She tried not to flinch at his crestfallen face.

Simon was already moving backwards.

Words were a strange concept. Mere minutes ago, she'd tried to tell him the truth by using many of them and it hadn't worked. In the end, it had taken only one sentence to make her point come across.

Elizabeth sent him a faint smile. "I am not sorry, Simon. And you shouldn't be, either. Please believe me when I say it's for the best."

"Do you... want to take anything with you?" Simon gestured backwards at the house. He was obviously ignoring her attempt at tact.

"No, I'm good."

Who can say if your love groves,
As your heart chose, only time?
And who can say where the road goes
Where the day flows, only time?

TBC...