A/N: I came up with this idea a while back, and thought it had the potential to be hilarious and of course, allow me to write smut! Yay smut!
I do not own Bleach.
This story will have smaller chapters so I can post updates more frequently. At least that's the plan.
Warnings: This fiction will contain one of more of the following - Adult situations, eventual graphic porn, bad shoujo manga, angry Nanaos, virginal Jyuushiros, and scheming Shunsuis. If you are bothered by any of this, please hit your "back" button now.
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According to Wikipedia, not only is Jyuushiro is a minor noble who supports his seven brothers and sisters single-handedly; he also writes children's books. I just wondered what he would do when the purse strings got tight after the war.
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Prologue
Jyuushiro looked down at the meager royalty check sitting on his publisher's desk and sighed. This past year sales were way down and these checks were not stretching as far as they used to. He was going to have to find another income to support his family since the Captain-Commander had already given him a raise three months ago.
He glanced up at Ryo, his publisher, and mentally cringed. Really, the man made Shunsui look like a class act. He was overweight, balding, reeked of sake, and was sweating profusely leaving stains that ran out from under his arms. All over his office walls there were photos of women in various stages of undress, and his desk held not two but three overflowing ashtrays. Ukitake fought the urge to cough from the smell of the stale cigarettes. His eyes were already watering.
"Captain Ukitake," Ryo wheezed, "I'm afraid that Sun Publishing is going to have to drop the Sogyo no Okotowari line. You have not been recouping its cost for months now."
Jyuushiro sucked in a breath. When Ryo called him in for an urgent meeting stating he had bad news, he thought it was just poor sales again. He was not expecting the news to be this bad. He slapped on his best smile. "Ryo, come on now. Sales have just been down because everyone is rebuilding after the war and there's a recession. There is no need to act rashly. it will pick up again just as soon as everyone has rebuilt."
Ryo shook his head. "That's just it, during a recession the only thing that sells well is vice. I've seen the damage around Soul Society, and this is not going to end anytime soon. People are going out of business because they can't afford to make repairs to their buildings. If I continue pouring money into children's books that don't sell, I'll be closing up shop too."
Desperation snaked its way into Jyuu's heart. "Maybe there is a way I can breathe new life into the books, will you extend my contract for another year? We've been doing business for ages; I don't even need the advance this time." It wasn't only about the money, he had been writing Sogyo no Okotowari for nearly two centuries. The books were a part of him.
Ryo opened his desk drawer, and rummaged around inside. "I'm afraid not Captain, Sun publishing is switching over to an entirely adult format. Let me put it this way, here is the royalty check my new romance author Yue is bringing in with his new serial."
He held the check out in front of Jyuu's nose so he could see it clearly. His eyes rounded. "That's a lot of zeros…" he breathed.
Ryo put the check back into his drawer. "Indeed. Please also take into account that Yue is also an unknown. This is just from his first book. Captain, you are the number two most eligible shinigami bachelor as voted by the Women's Association behind Captain Kuchiki. If you moved on to adult literature, I'm sure that it would fly off the shelves."
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Jyuushiro stood on the street outside his publisher's office with his mind in a haze. Why in the seven hells did he agree to write adult oriented literature? Oh right, the enormous checks. But like any good captain, Jyuu now realized he was in way over his head. Due to his illness and other circumstances, he had never even been intimate with anyone before. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose; he needed to talk to Shunsui right away.
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(Sorry for the tease, but this will not be updated for another week. I have to finish Ginger Snaps first, otherwise some Ukitake fans just might have my head.)