He's such a total moron. Or at least, that's how he appears to someone who's blind towards one's inner, natural beauty. His idiocy is mainly due to his honesty; his general openness towards others, yet most importantly, towards me. Perhaps that sounds too vain of me to assume…?
I believe that his honesty is his most memorable trait. Though, I can't say this was when I met him, naturally. Back then, I was someone who was blind; someone who didn't notice his knack for understanding. He had the ability to see through me, and it scared me.
After all, honesty and openness towards other people was something I never seemed talented in. I feel that, through him, I'm now something much greater than what I was before his presence in my life. I had no true friends, nor did I really have anyone to share that boring life with.
It was only until after I met that idiot that I started to really live life. I know this sounds strange, but he truly was my turning point of life. But you won't hear me say this out loud to him, of course; I still have my pride to consider.
Nonetheless, I feel that I can truly be myself around him. I escaped my prison of stress. Stress which was caused by pushing myself too hard to succeed so early in life. Yet through his carefree spirit, I learned that I, in fact, was only a teenager, too, like him. And that I had a whole life ahead of me to truly decide.
And for him, I will always be grateful. I will always continue to keep our relationship my treasure. I only hope that perhaps he feels the same way…?
Well, perhaps not. I don't wish to dishonor my family, but…
But time, as always, grows short. I must close this journal now, before we set off tomorrow. It will be an interesting experience, I'm sure.
Cheers,
Kyouya
P.S. I'm glad that I tricked Tamaki into thinking that I was writing a literature review in this book. He seems to be unaware…
Or at least, I think so. Sometimes he can be read like a book, but others… Well, let's just say that I don't completely possess his knack for seeing through other's emotions. Not with most people. And empathy doesn't seem to be my strong point, either.
Sometimes he does surprise me. But for some reason, I feel that I should always be careful with him, like he's my treasure, in danger of breaking.
I do believe that our bond is special, but there are many instances in which Tamaki is a mystery. Yet I don't think I'll confront him. Not this time.
…It seems I've strayed off topic today. I'll stop now and get some rest before tomorrow.