Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl does not belong to me. In any sense. I own absolutely nothing, except my imagination and everything associated with it that does not belong to someone else. This goes for the rest of the story, too, because I'm too lazy to write disclaimers on every chapter because I know I own barely anything. Fortunately for me, there's someone who likes fanfictions and allows people like me to fool around with the original story.

A/N: This is based off of a real experience when I saw-no joke- Domovoi Butler. Or at least someone who looks freakily like him. He was in the Secret Service. Why? Here's my reasoning. Read the FF.

Yet another Disclaimer: The POTUS in this story is completely fictional. Even though Butler was in the SS of Obama, he is not the ideal POTUS for this situation. So nothing done by the POTUS in this FF happened to the short extent of my knowledge. Except the first section, because he really came to see us, "35,000 of my [his] closest friends"

The name of the University, the city, and the state are all blanked out because I don't want some stalker on the internet to find out exactly where I live. Although a good hacker should be able to do the job as well. Okay, here goes...

University, , United States of America

I was twelve years old, waiting for the President of the United States and the First Lady to come and speak to 35,000 of us self-acclaimed Democrats. All of us here were: planning on voting; not registered to vote, but were thinking about it; finished voting (by absentee ballot), like my dad; or people who were too young to vote, like myself. I glanced briefly at the stage, but someone—anyone!—had yet to set foot upon it. I resumed watching the crowd. My dad, his parents, and I were near the front of the crowd. I stood on my tiptoes and jumped as high as I could to see the masses behind us. Surrounding me were dozens of blue shirts, all sporting the logo NEA (National Education Association, which had supported the rise of our President the whole campaign). My dad was a Social Studies teacher at a public school and part of the Union (the Teachers' Union, not the USA,), so we got the special seats…erm…standing space…about 50 feet away from the stage. During the four or so hours we were standing waiting for the speakers, I took the opportunity to study the people around me. I was not by far the youngest person there. There were babies and toddlers, taking up precious standing room on their blankets on the ground. We moved with the crowd, soon about ten feet in front of where we had been. It was in this spot that I saw Butler for the first time.

Fowl Manor

Artemis Fowl II paced his office in his Armani suit. After an hour's lunch with his mother in jeans and a t-shirt, he felt entitled to comfort. But his clothes were the least of his worries. The sixteen-year-old, technically nineteen, was worried about his best friend and bodyguard, Butler. In fact, he was so worried, his expensive loafers were set aside in favor of bare feet, his tie hung loosely around his neck, his suit jacket lay flung across a table somewhere, and he needed a shave. His pale, gaunt face seemed even paler as he thought about what Butler was doing. This kind of thing had never worried him before. That's why it seemed so frightening. Artemis ran his long pianist's fingers through his longish, slightly greasy black hair. Butler should have checked with him by now. Something must have happened.

A knock on the door interrupted his disheveled thoughts.

"Artemis, can I borrow your Powerbook?" asked Myles' voice through the door. Artemis sighed. His four-year-old brother had a knack for interrupting people. Both of them did.

"What for?" Artemis called back, using his hoarse voice for the first time in a few hours.

"We're doing a 'speriment, and I need a computer to program it. You don't sound well, Arty. Are you all right?"

Artemis wanted to snap, Of course I'm not all right! Go take that toy animal of yours and go away! But of course he didn't. Instead he said,

"Myles, why don't you and Professor Primate go and ask Father...Daddy... if you can use his computer. I'm rather busy." He looked at his Powerbook and resolved to get one for each of his brothers for their birthday. Or rather, get one for Myles and something equally as useful and expensive for Beckett, who wasn't exactly inclined to use one as much as his twin.

Artemis had no sooner heard his brother's feet tromping down the corridor than his stylish newly modified cell phone rang. Actually, he had been the one to modify it, using discarded fairy technology that was decades ahead of that of the Mud Men's. Erm, Humans'. The ringtone was a section of one of his own symphonies, this one the rather dramatic Allegretto from his Symphony IV. It was a Butler, but not the one he wanted most.

"Yes, Juliet?" he answered the call.

Juliet: Artemis, you aren't by any chance here in the US, are you?

Artemis II: (voice shaking slightly) No, why?

Juliet: Just wondering.

Artemis II: (sternly, and rather frighteningly) Juliet. If there is something I must know, tell me.

(Loud clattering noise from neither end of the phone)

Myles: Hi, Juliet!

Artemis II: (angrily, but also rather proudly) Myles! How long have you been tapping my phone?

Myles: I told you that Professor Primate and I were doing a 'speriment, didn't I?

Artemis II: (coldly) Hang up, Myles.

Myles: No.

Artemis II: Juliet, I'll email you, because that, at least, is private.

Juliet: Okey-doke. 'Bye, Arty! 'Bye Myles!

Myles: Have fun in America!

(Juliet and Artemis hang up, leaving Myles on the line by himself.)

Artemis looked around for his jacket and shoved the phone into an inside pocket with a leather-tasseled zipper, where he always kept it. He changed his mind, took it out again, left a detailed message for Butler, then headed outside to power up his solar-powered Cessna.

Artemis Fowl Sr. looked sadly out one of the windows of the Manor. He watched his oldest son load up the Cessna and take off, probably to some foreign country. Artemis the Younger had probably informed Butler where he was going, as Butler had not boarded the plane with him. Of course he left without a word to either Angeline or Artemis I. He owed his son his life. It wouldn't hurt for him to tell where he was going to a pair of worried parents, would it? Artemis Fowl Sr. shook his head as his eldest son took off. He had a bad feeling about this trip.

Italy; Three Years Ago

"Scusi. Someone wants to see you. Adopt, he says." The nun called into the small room where a small girl sat alone. The six-year-old girl bounced on the balls of her feet. A chance to start over away from Italia, the girl thought. She bounced her way into the room.

"This is Senator Brown," said the nun. "Senator Arnold Brown, but you can call him papa."

"Si,"said the girl, smiling charmingly at her new papa. "Americano?"

Brown nodded. "Do you speak English?"

"A little."

"This lovely lady here will be your new maman," he said.

The lovely lady smiled. The girl ignored her. The important one was the man, the Senator. He was powerful.

"She-" the lady nodded at the nun-"says you don't like your name. What do you want to be called?"

The girl turned her oversized head toward the lady.

"Opal," she said.