"I Broke My Own Heart Loving You.."
She sits in her chair, facing the bed.
He's laying under the blankets, snoring slowly, completely unaware of the turmoil going on inside of her head.
Again, again they find themselves here.
Why is it always like this?.
This vicious cycle?..
It's not healthy, not right, not moral.
Why must he always fuck up, and why must she always run, only to have him chase her down, and convince her to forgive him, and give him one more chance.
She sighs, pulls her cardigan tighter and decides to go for a small drive.
Grabbing her coat and winter boots, she heads out the door.
Her car, a gift from her Uncle Harry, is parked outside her home.
She looked over to her neighbours.
She's envious of them.
Perfect life, perfect everything.
She feels empty and lonely.
He doesn't care, he's not even aware she's gone.
He probably won't even be in her bed by the time she gets back.
She sighs, puts the key into the ignition and backs out the drive.
She drives down the road, where?.
She doesn't know.
She knows she wants to get away, but at the same time, she wants to stay.
How can she love him So much?.. Yet, hate him just as much?..
It's not a good relationship,
It's love/hate.
Sure the crazy, wild makeup sex is always great, but is that what she wants for the rest of her life?.
She shakes her head, and pulls over.
She steps out of her car, and goes to sit on the cold cement bench facing the ocean, she decides to bare the cold November wind…
It's cold, just like him.
Yet, when their together,
It's fire and ice….
The perfect storm..
She sighs, and watched the sun set, she lost track of time..
She's been doing that lately, a lot.
She gets back in her car, and drives back home.
Her house is dark, too big for her.
But, she loves it.
And, maybe one day, she will fill it up with happy memories and love.
She stepped inside.
He's gone.
Like Always, he's gone.
"Where did you go?"
Asked a voice from the kitchen.
He's sitting in the dark, completely dressed...
"Out."
"Why do you run Rose?"
"Why do you chase?"
He growls in frustration, sighed, and turned on the lights.
The house is bright now, but it still feels cold and empty.
"Just answer me Rose."
He moves towards her, and she steps back.
"I went for a drive."
"Why?"
He reached her and places his arms around her waist.
"Because I needed to breath Scorpius. I can't keep doing this with you." She whispered.
Turning her head, and avoiding his kiss.
"Can't keep doing what?"
He asked as he kissed her neck.
"This Scorpius!. I can't keep being with you! It's wrong! It's not right!... We can't Scorpius!"
She throws him off her..
He frowns down at her, and smirks.
"It will always be me and you Rose, you can't be happy with anyone else but me, admit it yourself. How many times have you tried to move on?"
He pulls her back in, and she knows he's right.
"I'm leaving Scorpius." She whispers..
"Where are you going?"
"Far away. I need to start my life, I've waited too long for you to change."
He tightens his grip on her, his heart is beating just as fast as hers.
"Don't.. Rose.. Please.."
"I'm serious Scorpius. We aren't in Hogwarts anymore, it's time to move on."
She once again, pushed him off, he resisted and finally gave in.
"Why did you stay?.. You never do?"
"Rose, I'm tired of this too. I had a long hard look at my life. And I decided that, I only need you, and I asked your Uncle Harry, for a job. And… And I faced your father… I told him I loved you.. And that.. I wanted to be with you forever, that is if you would have me.. He didn't agree at first, seeing our track record, but even he sees its always going to be me and you..." He looked nervous, which was out of character for him.
He swallowed, nervously, and got down on his knee.
He pulled out a black velvet box.
"Rose Weasley, I know that the past 4 years have been more down than up, and that I don't always, if ever, make the right decisions, especially when it concerns you. But, if you would have me, I promise to change, and always be here, and become the man you need.. You don't have to say yes now, but… But maybe promise you will think about it, and say you will be mine, for eternity."
She was shocked, she never expected this..
What could she say?.
Why does he always have to ruin everything…
She had finally decide to do what was best for her, and leave.
And now….
Now, he was proposing?!. What was his game?
"I'm sorry Scorpius, I cant. Not now. We can't."
He bowed his head, and stood up.
Slowly nodded, and put away the ring.
"Kinda figured it would be a long shot."
"I'm sorry, I really am."
"So this is it?.. No more coming back…"
She swallows hard.
Tears are starting to finally come down her face.
He slowly wiped them away..
"Can we at least try to be friends?. Your Uncle told me Auror training starts in spring. And I have a few months to clean my shit up.. I also went by the Manor, and finally told dad and mum about you. Dad was ok with it, and mum was more than happy… They helped me get a place nearby the ministry.. And well. I'm going to try really hard to change for you rose, for us… Regardless of my fucked up behaviour, I do love you more than my own life… I'm done Rose, done sleeping around behind your back, done drinking, done with partying and being a lazy git, and living off my parents money… "
She was full out crying now, all those things she had always wanted to hear..
But, it was to late now.
"You change for you Scorpius, change and become a better man.."
He had tears in his eyes too..
She had never seen him cry, never seen him show emotion.
"Please Rose, don't cut me out of your life completely.. I need you Rose… I know I fucked up one to many times with you, and last night was the last straw…"
"You hurt me deeply last night Scorpius, my own cousin…"
Anger suddenly raged inside of her, she walked away from him, and faced the window, watching the ocean..
"You don't know how sorry I am about that Rose.. But nothing happened… She was drunk. And I was trying to help her get home… I promise Rose.. I haven't been doing anything with your cousin.." His voice was pleading.
They had this conversation last night, and she gave up and allowed him sleep in her bed..
"It's over now… Fix your life.. And let me live mine.."
"Rose.."
"I'm serious Scorpius.. We both need to grow up, and work on ourselves before we can commit to one another…"
She wrapped her arms around herself.. And chocked back tears..
"Rose, please don't do this.."
He's by her side now, pleading, looking desperate.
"Leave, please leave, don't make this any harder than it already is." She whispered.
"Rose. No.. Rose.."
He turns her around, and looked pleadingly into her blue eyes.
"I'm sorry. I just can't keep doing this.."
"I'm going to change Rose.. Please.. Please.. one last chance. Just one.." His grey eyes wide and pleading.
"Scorpius.."
"Rose, just one more chance." He whispered.
"I.."
"One chance, and if I fuck up, even the slightest, you can leave without a word."
"I.. I don't know.."
"Think about it, please.. "
He lets her go, and placed the ring box on the table..
"Scorpius.."
"It's yours, it's the Malfoy ring, dad gave it to me.."
"Take it…"
"I'll come by in a few days.. I'll be staying with Albus. Please think about it."
He gives her a small kiss on her forehead, and heads out the door.
As soon as the door closed, she collapsed on the floor..
What is she going to do now?..
She can't just leave, what if he finds someone else?
What if she found someone else?.
What if they are meant to be together?
Too many questions, and only one answer, she needs to go.
She needs to clear her head.
He will understand.
Without even looking atthe ring, she packs a small bag, and heads out the door, into the night.
Authors Note: hi! I wanted I write something different, and I couldn't sleep last night, so I wrote this. Hope you guys like it!. It's meant to be a one-shot, but let me know what you guys think..