Dear Tony,

So, I haven't seen you in a while. I guess it's because our schedules almost never coincide, with my press conferences and your occasional meetings. I would say that's okay, and it's probably better for all of us, but I miss you.

I can't stop thinking about you either. I remember how you always hated me pulling you out of your lab, but you loved curling up with me in our bed. I guess it's your bed now. I remember how loud you would blast that music in our lab, but for our dates it would always be quiet and perfect. I remember how beautiful you look asleep, with your hair mussed and the only light coming from the arc reactor on your chest. You always look beautiful, but when you're asleep it's like all your cares just get thrown away.

I miss our banter. It started out as us constantly fighting, but turned into playful joking around. It sure took a while for me to understand your sense of humour, but now it's one of my favourite things about you. Even though you could be sarcastic and cutting sometimes, you always had a reason. Something that had reminded you of one of the many people you've lost, or of your capture.

I miss all of you, even your issues. Well, that's what you call them. I know you're not perfect, but I don't think you have any issues. Your childhood wasn't good, neither was mine. You had Afghanistan, I had a war. Either way, we've both gone through similar things. That arc reactor in your chest that you hate? I think it's the most beautiful thing in the world. I think you're the most beautiful thing in the world.

And I miss you.

Love,

Steve Rogers.

Steve pushed away from his desk, and snuck over to Tony's room. He knew this mission was going to be very dangerous, knew he might not come back from it. He wanted to leave a bit of himself for Tony, though, wanted Tony to know how much Steve loved him even though things had gone sideways between them. If Steve had one big regret before this mission, it was that he hadn't tried harder to fix things. That he had let their relationship go sideways in the first place.

"Jarvis?" asked Steve.

Jarvis replied with a slightly concerned tone in his voice. "Yes, master Steve?"

"Can you tell me if Tony's asleep?"

Surprisingly, Jarvis sounded more approving than anything else. "Yes, Sir has been asleep for the past 4 hours. With the amount of alcohol he has consumed, he should not wake for another 12 hours."

Steve grabbed the letter, and walked out of his room as quietly as he could. Since it was 3 a.m., he didn't think any of his fellow Avengers would be awake, but it never hurt to be careful. He walked quietly, almost tiptoeing, to Tony's room. The door slid open in front of him, and he looked up at where he thought one of the cameras was and nodded to Jarvis.

When Steve saw Tony, every feeling of love he had ever had came rushing back to him. He watched Tony for a second. Tony was fast asleep, shirtless, one leg off the bed, with an empty whiskey bottle clutched in his fist. He was beautiful, even as messy and sleep-deprived he looked. The pale blue glow of the arc reactor lit Steve's path as he quietly made his way over to the desk. He laid the letter down, and went back to the door. He stole one last look at the man he loved, then walked back to his room. In 2 hours he was leaving for the most dangerous mission of his life, and he never expected to see Tony again. Never expected to be able to tell Tony he loved him.

A/N: Hope you like! I'm in a very angsty mood, so sorry about that. I might add a sequel/fix-it if you guys want. Please review!