It's being two years since I wrote a fanfiction, so be gentle! (^.^)
A ShikamaruXTemari story
As ladies come, she's as scary as they get. Ino and Sakura are angels after her glares.
So of course my parents love her.
So of course it's her feminine duty to make my life miserable.
Example one: Last week I saw her stirring coffee in the waiting room for the Hogake. So being the charming gentleman that I am, I make a small, humorous comment about her hair, you know, to start a conversation.
She stabbed me with her spoon.
Example two: Three days ago, because I wanted to prove to Naruto that no, I'm not a humor less sack of sarcasm, I perform a small (really nothing) shadow jutsu on her, just for kicks. Everyone laughs until she breaks out of it and attacks me.
I, too this day, limp.
Example three: Yesterday, as I was taking a break from my ambassador meetings, I slept peacefully (and I'm sure angelically) in an open field, she kicked me in the side and started raving about the treaty meeting we had missed, saying something along the lines of, "Shikamaru get your lazy (behind) up already you piece of (feces)"
I've also temporally lost my hearing
Example four: Today, the day before she went back to the Sand country, she took me out for drinks, thought I had to be reassured many time that I would not murdered. It actually wasn't that troublesome. Later, after, oh, let's say five (maybe six) sake bottles (each), she asks if I'll take her to my "cloud pace hill thing". I oblige. Once we get there, she hugs me, bats her eyelashes, and giggles, and says, as I quote, "Shika-chan, your so dang cute, I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuv (hiccup) you!".
Suddenly everything's all romantic and Sleepless in Cloud Country-y (yes I saw that movie, not I'm not gay. Shut up.) Suddenly she grins, winks, and skips away.
I think I'm going to kill myself.
If Temari of the Sand doesn't kill me first.