The Right Thing To Do
This is a sequel set soon after the events in Horse From A Different Sea, although it should make sense if you read this as a stand alone story.
One of the hardest decisions a single parent has to make is whether to go back to work.. Imagine how much harder that would be if you were Lt Colonel John Sheppard, military commander of Atlantis. What do you do, abandon all the people who are depending on you, or risk leaving a tiny child without parents?
The fact that John has a child will make this story AU, unless the studio decides to pick up my suggestion and run with it for season 6? Well, you never know, that could happen somewhere, in an alternate universe?
Disclaimers
My stories are never written for financial gain, although I do love it when you give me nice reviews (not a very subtle hint).
Sadly, Stargate Atlantis is not mine, because if it was then there is no way I would be cancelling it at the end of season 5. Life without Rodney, John and the rest of the team is going to be unbearable.
The Right Thing To Do
John was standing in the front of the gate with his team, dressed in his off world gear, waiting for Chuck to finish the dialing sequence. Outwardly, he was calm, professional, totally in control, but what no-one else could see was that inside he was freaking out. He was not particularly concerned about his mission. There was a good chance there would be trouble from the Genii, but that was something he had dealt with many times before. No, the thing that was worrying John Sheppard was leaving his daughter Meredith behind.
Following an accident involving an Ancient device that was strange even by the standards of the Pegasus galaxy, John had become pregnant, and given birth to a daughter. It had been the most frightening thing that had ever happened to him. John was certain that he would not have survived the experience with his sanity intact without the support of his friends, and especially one Dr Rodney McKay. For about a week after Meredith was born he was trapped in the infirmary, recovering from surgery, surrounded by nurses, doctors and friends. That week had passed in a blur, a honeymoon period of sorts, before the chill of reality set in.
Finally John and Meredith were released to move into the new larger quarters, with room for all the things that a child would need. John struggled at first to deal with diapers, bottles and baths, but Teyla and Rodney were always there to help him out, and make sure he got some sleep. Even Ronon displayed a previously undiscovered soft side, and would hold Meredith gently in his arms, feeding her a bottle, although he always managed to have somewhere else to be when there was a diaper to be changed. With time John realized that he had learned all the skills that had seemed so far beyond him, and that he was madly in love with his tiny daughter. Part of him was hoping that this would never come to an end.
Reality intruded in the shape of Evan Lorne requesting politely, but with some urgency in his voice, when Colonel Sheppard would draw up the schedule for the off world teams. So John bundled Meredith into the custom built Earth style pram, and took the transporter to his office. When he got there he realized that there was a huge pile of paperwork on his desk. John was reminded that he had a responsibility to the people of Atlantis, and something twisted in the pit of his stomach at the thought that his time with Meredith would be cut short so soon. He sat down, put his head in his hands and forced himself not to cry, because that's not the sort of thing that Colonels do. Then Meredith, as if hearing John's thoughts, started to cry out loud, and John realized he had not brought any bottles, diapers, or anything else.
With a flash of inspiration, John had called Rodney, who turned up faster than John would have thought possible, arms full of all the things John needed. Rodney took one look at the big pile of paperwork on John's desk and told John to just leave it. Rodney would talk to Woolsey about delegating some of this to Major Lorne until Meredith was a little older, and John could leave her with a babysitter. A very relieved John fed and changed his daughter, and they all returned to John's quarters where Ronon was waiting with food.
Rodney McKay has been described as the smartest man in two galaxies, but even he cannot slow the passage of time (actually he did suggest a small time dilation field, but John was sure he was joking). When Meredith was three months old, Woolsey approached John and suggested that maybe he should consider returning to active duties, as the leader of his gate team. He seemed to be understanding, and genuinely concerned, but John noticed the files on his desk with the details of candidates to replace him, and he knew he would have to make a decision soon. Later that day, John met up with the rest of his team to talk about what he should do. To John's relief, Teyla's partner Kanaan was prepared to watch Meredith along with his son Torren, and so it was decided that John would rejoin his team.
John's first mission would be a diplomatic mission to discuss the growing tension with the Genii. Teyla had been conducting negotiations, and was very grateful that John would be able to go with her on the next mission. On the morning of the mission, John packed a bag with Meredith's toys, bottles, diapers, clothes and other essential items, He carried Meredith the short distance to the other family quarters that Teyla and Kanaan occupied, and Ronon followed with his bags. Rodney had already arrived, and was sitting at a table doing something on his laptop. John placed Meredith in Kanaan's outstretched arms, and tenderly kissed her goodbye on her forehead. He realized that this golden time with his daughter was finally over, and it made him feel sad, but he knew he had made the right call. As the team set out to the gate room, he looked back over his shoulder to wave one last goodbye, but Meredith was asleep, oblivious to the actions of the adults.
As chuck started to dial the gate, the reality of the situation hit John hard and he started to ask himself if he was doing the right thing. Kanaan already had Torren to watch over, would he be able to cope with a second child? John realized he was being foolish, and he took a deep breath, and tried to stay calm. But then another thought occurred to him, what if something went wrong on the mission and he got hurt? Who would look after Meredith if he was injured, or worse still if he died? It was something he had never had to consider before, and suddenly he realized why Teyla had taken so long to make up her mind whether to come back to his team.
John kept outwardly as calm as he could, but somehow Teyla seemed to notice the tension in him. The smile on her face said that she understood, and that he was doing the right thing. John's team were his family and they would always look after Meredith. He needed to be Colonel John Sheppard, to step through the gate and fight the bad guys. He couldn't protect his daughter by hiding in fear in Atlantis. Finally, to John's relief, the last cheveron locked into place, and the wormhole established itself, a rippling surface of sky blue. Without further hesitation, John followed his team through the gate.